Discussion Worst Living Conditions/ Dispositions

[GarageKarate07]

What are your worst chronic dispositions, terminal conditions, living conditions, untreatable conditions, sexual abuse, verbal abuse, mental states, handicapped conditions, physical conditions, and what are some that we have seen, read about, known, and lost here on SS. This is to give others an idea of how bad some things are for some of our group and what different hardships we all face as individuals. No case to harsh to mention and no case to tiny. Lay them all out. ❤

 

[Sensei]

I suffer from bipolar disorder II. It's chronic, makes me see everything through a dark veil, makes me highly suicidal, and has destroyed my social life and my love life. I want to mention a member of this community who died by his own hand, whom I'll call K, who suffered from physical ailments, war-related PTSD, and most probably also bipolar disorder.

 

[GenesAndEnvironment]

PID-5 detachment off the scale. Meaning an extreme avoidance of anxiety-provoking situations, near-total inability to create relationships and very low empathy levels. Combine this with high neuroticism, having failed at everything and having been stuck in demon-pill-limbo for four years— it's fucking over. No girl will ever want to date me and I'll probably not even be able to get an education or work due to not meeting the most basic of social needs, leading to an extremely weak psychology.

Not that worked up about it, I have an all-right method ready to go and my low empathy levels will allow me to completely wipe out my family's mental health permanently by ctb if I get really, really tired of this shit. I keep busy with the forum, exercise, nutrition, walks and meditation whilst NEETing. I am constantly applying for some shitty jobs that I actually don't want just because I don't lose anything by doing it. After hundreds of applications I've gotten three or so jobs but have been too mentally unstable (due to the stated reasons + demon pills) to stay for long. I've dropped out of educations two or three times, for the same reasons.

Still trying, though, if I can grind through this pain I could aquire a great method or maybe one of those realistic sex dolls, hopefully they feel realistic and radiate heat so that I can cuddle them. This would only require getting through my preferred education and not being the human embodiment of weakness for a few years.

 

[Mentalmick]

Severe treatment resistant chronic depression, severe anxiety/social anxiety, avoidance personality disorder, schizoid personality disorder, chronic self harm, self hatred, suicidal, paranoia, some kind of eating disorder, sleep disorders, female cosplay. There's a few others but not that important. It all comes together to create one almighty fuck up of biblical proportions. It builds character though, and the ladies love it.

 

[TessB]

Bpd, mild bipolar, anxiety/ panic, self harm.. A history of 30 years of getting into intense relationships where I'm obsessed with that person and high on drama, then block them and am scared and it fucks up my life and everything comes crashing down into suicidal misery. I was in a violent marriage several years and he would beat me, I think I still have trauma from that. My parents never cared or stuck up for me.. they see me as trouble and a black sheep so that it was probably my fault anyway. I have no relationship with my dad now at all as he would rather label me mad than apologise for his mistakes... one mistake being inappropriate touching of my daughter and the ensuing social services investigation.. he blames me entirely for that.. AND thinks he can carry on a relationship with my daughter as though nothing happened. NOT HAPPENING.
I have no relationship with my 25 year old daughter because she sided with him.
Im an alcoholic who drinks about 2 bottles of wine a night, then can't function during the day till I drink again.. I do the stupidest shit to make myself feel better. I have a presence on internet sex sites because I guess it makes me feel better getting attention from strangers behind their screens. But I know it's probably my self destructive/ risk taking impulses that make me do it. I try to talk to the men about my mental health, and it's like 'oh dear poor you, send me a picture of your tits' .. I don't blame them though, I'm literally a pathetic mess.

Severe treatment resistant chronic depression, severe anxiety/social anxiety, avoidance personality disorder, schizoid personality disorder, chronic self harm, self hatred, suicidal, paranoia, some kind of eating disorder, sleep disorders, female cosplay. There's a few others but not that important. It all comes together to create one almighty fuck up of biblical proportions. It builds character though, and the ladies love it.

I do love your sense of humour so much Mick..

 

[Mentalmick]

they see me as trouble and a black sheep

Us black sheep are the best sheep. They're just jealous because they can't be in the black sheep gang. Only special sheep get to join.

 

[TessB]

Us black sheep are the best sheep. They're just jealous because they can't be in the black sheep gang. Only special sheep get to join.

 

[Fragile]

Oh, you know, just a little incurable genetic illnesses that is literally destroying my brain and my body and will eventually leave me disabled, debilitating migraines, tumors in my gallbladder and intestines, a looong and complicated history of treatment resistant and severe anxiety and depression, diagnosed bipolar, horrible body dismorphia to the point that I can't recognize my own face, the death many relatives including my father at an early young age, sexual abuse as a minor, more than 7 years of almost complete isolation after I realized that I couldn't achieve my dreams. I can barely pronounce words due to it and I have the eyesight of an 70 year old and I'm not even 30, and I won't be.

what else... I also struggle with substance abuse and have been a poly-drug user for years now, it's the only thing that masks the pain and makes me forget about the paragraph that I wrote above.

All this tragedy has humbled me, and even with all of it, I still see beauty in this world. too bad I can't experience any of it.

At least I have N lol. This life is the definition of a cruel joke.

 

[GarageKarate07]

Oh, you know, just a little incurable genetic illnesses that is literally destroying my brain and my body and will eventually leave me disabled, debilitating migraines, tumors in my gallbladder and intestines, a looong and complicated history of treatment resistant and severe anxiety and depression, diagnosed bipolar, horrible body dismorphia to the point that I can't recognize my own face, the death many relatives including my father at an early young age, sexual abuse as a minor, more than 7 years of almost complete isolation after I realized that I couldn't achieve my dreams. I can barely pronounce words due to it and I have the eyesight of an 70 year old and I'm not even 30, and I won't be.

what else... I also struggle with substance abuse and have been a poly-drug user for years now, it's the only thing that masks the pain and makes me forget about the paragraph that I wrote above.

All this tragedy has humbled me, and even with all of it, I still see beauty in this world. too bad I can't experience any of it.

At least I have N lol. This life is the definition of a cruel joke.

What are poly-drugs

 

[Fragile]

What are poly-drugs

It's a term that means that I use and abuse multiple substances. Mostly at the same time,

 

[GarageKarate07]

It's a term that means that I use and abuse multiple substances. Mostly at the same time,

Oh. I know I could have looked it up I just figured I would ask instead. Nothing like the ride of 2 wrong drugs in 2 wrong directions. I get that. I like mushrooms but i havent done that in a long time. Drugs can be fun. Even as a vice you can still learn a lot. ❤