I'm 31.
So last February i had a bad car accident, (it will be 2 years ago in February)
I'm now paraplegic, epileptic from traumatic brain injury, my arms have some nerve damage and my recovery has "plateaued". Or as i refer to it... i ain't getting any better.
I'm in a nursing home...
My roommate has dementia and is just... gone up there.
Basically the only enjoyment i get out of life is watching TV/movies, my life is one really long netflix (and now disney+) binge and periods of extreme headaches where i can't even do that. I used to be big into video games but i can't do much of that anymore because i lack the speed to be able to do much. Basically i suck too bad. I have to be careful with the epilepsy from special effects.
I've had suicidal feelings on and off since the accident.
My Christmas eve consisted of having various family members show up for a while and leave. Grand total i think i had family over for like 2 hours of the day combined. (Leaving to do anything would put a huge burden on whomever took me out) 2 hours sounds like a long time but it feels like they just stopped in for an obligatory "hi" and that's it.
And to top it off my Christmas eve dinner sucked (nursing home food)
Between 7:30 or so and midnight i sat alone in my cell watching Christmas movies alone wanting to kill myself. To top it off the nurses won't even give me the box of cookies my mom brought and are giving me only one at time. (at midnight they took my computer away, something they do quite often to me).
The good news is i have a whole lot of money in my bank account from the lawsuit settlement, so it's not poor finances that are making me want to end it... That's about the only upside in my life right now. That and the Mandalorian...
About the only thing keeping me from ending it is this feeling that My own personal hell will be an eternity in a nursing home without internet or TV.
So last February i had a bad car accident, (it will be 2 years ago in February)
I'm now paraplegic, epileptic from traumatic brain injury, my arms have some nerve damage and my recovery has "plateaued". Or as i refer to it... i ain't getting any better.
I'm in a nursing home...
My roommate has dementia and is just... gone up there.
Basically the only enjoyment i get out of life is watching TV/movies, my life is one really long netflix (and now disney+) binge and periods of extreme headaches where i can't even do that. I used to be big into video games but i can't do much of that anymore because i lack the speed to be able to do much. Basically i suck too bad. I have to be careful with the epilepsy from special effects.
I've had suicidal feelings on and off since the accident.
My Christmas eve consisted of having various family members show up for a while and leave. Grand total i think i had family over for like 2 hours of the day combined. (Leaving to do anything would put a huge burden on whomever took me out) 2 hours sounds like a long time but it feels like they just stopped in for an obligatory "hi" and that's it.
And to top it off my Christmas eve dinner sucked (nursing home food)
Between 7:30 or so and midnight i sat alone in my cell watching Christmas movies alone wanting to kill myself. To top it off the nurses won't even give me the box of cookies my mom brought and are giving me only one at time. (at midnight they took my computer away, something they do quite often to me).
The good news is i have a whole lot of money in my bank account from the lawsuit settlement, so it's not poor finances that are making me want to end it... That's about the only upside in my life right now. That and the Mandalorian...
About the only thing keeping me from ending it is this feeling that My own personal hell will be an eternity in a nursing home without internet or TV.
