loserpilled
silent dog
- Jan 19, 2025
- 3
emotions i strung together when i actively journaled last year-- i wish i could write again as it used to help a lot, but the drive isn't really there anymore.
i tell myself endurance is enough, that motion is salvation. but the unraveling comes quietly, then all at once. i split. fractured, unfiltered, onto those who never asked to hold my weight. their silence reflects back, a sight i never wished to see. shame coils, wordless and wild. so i curl inward, fragile and unsure, hoping someone might still recognize the softness beneath the reckoning.
[Edit: Putting some other recent attempts here.]
i fell the same way every time and called it learning. let you keep fixing what i refused to hold on my own. the balance was never taken from me, I gave it away. now the space where help used to be is empty, and i'm left wondering if i exhausted your mercy or if this is simply what happens when you mistake being carried for knowing how to stand.
i tell myself endurance is enough, that motion is salvation. but the unraveling comes quietly, then all at once. i split. fractured, unfiltered, onto those who never asked to hold my weight. their silence reflects back, a sight i never wished to see. shame coils, wordless and wild. so i curl inward, fragile and unsure, hoping someone might still recognize the softness beneath the reckoning.
[Edit: Putting some other recent attempts here.]
i fell the same way every time and called it learning. let you keep fixing what i refused to hold on my own. the balance was never taken from me, I gave it away. now the space where help used to be is empty, and i'm left wondering if i exhausted your mercy or if this is simply what happens when you mistake being carried for knowing how to stand.
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