I become troubled over the thought I have to die alone. Perhaps it's a reason I haven't hopped on the bus yet. Does anyone else have a problem of dying in your bed alone, to have your loved one's discover your corpse later? I thought about calling a hotline before I pass out, but that will most likely get me locked up in the ward. Calling someone in my life would give the same result. Is there a way to overcome the dread of suicide being a solitary act?
Deleted member 17949
Visionary
- May 9, 2020
- 2,238
It bothers me a lot. I feel so worthless and unwanted when I think of quietly slipping out if life without anyone really noticing until they have to scrape up my body. Makes me feel like I'm just a problem rather than a person.
And they say people who kill themselves are cowards. Overcoming SI is one of the bravest things a person can do.
Deleted member 17949
Visionary
- May 9, 2020
- 2,238
It's no more cowardly than taking your hand away from a hot object that's burning you. Anyone that claims to not have a limit for pain is probably lying, and we've just hit ours with living.
And you're selfish. Because It's all about them. Fuck your loved one's suffering. "Continue to suffer for me and my ego," is what they really mean.
Giraffey
Your Orange Crush
- Mar 7, 2020
- 439
I can relate to this feeling, suicide seems to be an inherently solitary act and yet I think that is what lends a great sadness to it. We often hear stories of how "they were surrounded by loved ones in their final moments", there is a certain degree of social conditioning - a certain 'shame' or added tragedy in dying alone.
Figuring, realistically, that I am going to die alone (if indeed I do decide to CTB), I have worked around this issue by replacing human contact with that of nature, anthropomorphizing the ocean to be my companion, the flocking birds overhead to be my friends, the gentle breeze on my cheeks as my spirit passes akin to a final kiss goodbye from mother nature.
You could say, cynically, that I'm avoiding the question by cheaply romanticising suicide, but that is my way of coping. It's brought me comfort that I never had when I was contemplating a solitary death.
Figuring, realistically, that I am going to die alone (if indeed I do decide to CTB), I have worked around this issue by replacing human contact with that of nature, anthropomorphizing the ocean to be my companion, the flocking birds overhead to be my friends, the gentle breeze on my cheeks as my spirit passes akin to a final kiss goodbye from mother nature.
You could say, cynically, that I'm avoiding the question by cheaply romanticising suicide, but that is my way of coping. It's brought me comfort that I never had when I was contemplating a solitary death.
I can't judge someone for how they cope with existence. Maybe I'll try your frame of mind, might get me somewhere.
In the end, we are all alone. We are all alone in our mental prisons, not matter what.
KleinerWolf
Account Wipe.
- Apr 30, 2020
- 2,700
rikamonie
Experienced
- Jun 3, 2020
- 290
yes ): i hate thinking how i will have to die alone and my last moments will just be thoughts to myself, i want to talk to someone i love while i pass away, i dont want to be in my bed alone but i know thats a horrible thing to do to someone i cant imagine how they would feel, so i cant do it i have to put my phone down and wait until i pass out by myself i really hate imagining it, i hate imagining my mum coming home not knowing im dead in my room and expecting me to reply to her when she calls out to tell me shes home god i started crying thinking about it, but theres no way around it
