Help Womens Refuge

[restinpeace2]

Hi and I'm sorry again. It's just saddening all the time and I miss living in my old area. I miss my old borough. I miss my family home. I lived in a Women's Refuge for a few months, then made homeless application to council so now moved into council studio temporary accommodation (here for a few momths). I feel like I'm going to break down. I have called the crisis lines a few times, and spoke to my GP and talking therapies.

I should be grateful, I know. I should not complain. I feel very upset always. I struggle to even ask for help sometimes. I've been stuck in bed for several days and only want out today. The depression is terrible. I wish I could just go back in time and redo things. I took a long journey today, 2 tubes and 1 bus. It was the scariest thing for me. I had a lot of anxiety and I normally take the bus to places because it is easier, but sometimes it is not possible. I feel upset about being poor on Universal Credit too. Living alone makes me so sad.

I feel sad about being in a new location. I feel sad living by myself too. Cooking has become something that makes me sad again. I don't enjoy it. I hardly cook tasty meals. I miss having meals made for me. I'm too sad to do anything. Eveneqrning things is difficult for me, I can't understand easily. I wish I didn't have to go through this. I don't want to live like this everyone. It makes me upset. I wish I could be a normal person. I miss being in a family home, with separate rooms and others. I miss being on the sofa and cuddling the pillows and watching TV. My phone is so slow and I am so anxious about if it stops working.

I'm too scared of it all. Adulting is hard for me. I miss the family home. I miss living in a house, like a child. I don't feel ready. I feel very upset. Being like this, it's not the best life. I wish life could be easier... I wish I wouldn't be sad... I miss living in a family home again

I want to live in a house like a family again. I miss being looked after. I can "look after myself" but I'm not really doing that. I want to be a child again. Please have some understanding. I don't like doing these adult things (money and benefits, housing uncertainty, phone calls etc).

I miss not having responsibility. The things like grocery shopping, cleaning, launderette all feel so hard...

 

[imissmycat]

Hey. I haven't seen any of your previous posts so I don't know the context.

I take it there's no way you can move back with your family, or you simply don't have one anymore. If you can or do, why can't you be with them for some time?

Then again, I recommend ripping off that band-aid as soon as you can. I don't know how old you are, but eventually you're going to have to stand on your own two feet, suicidal or not. You'll feel better once you realise you can survive on your own. If not you might end up drifting from relationship to relationship so that someone can take care of you (mere conjecture, I don't have any experience of this.)

You will always have responsibilities. I know the feeling. I feel that way too sometimes. I miss being a teenager, especially because I wasted that whole period of my life it feels like. It's just never going to be like that again unless you find some rich old man to take care of you. I can't recommend it, I don't think anyone would be happy living like that, but maybe someone would.

If you accept reality, adult life, responsibilities, you can one day create your own family, maybe. Doesn't have to include children. Could be a goal, something to work towards.

I'm feeling like shit right now so I'm probably being harsh.