pdyduc
Member
- Aug 4, 2020
- 22
Theres so many things about me that I hate. I cant do anything, i cant deal with high stress situations in any way and I cant deal with even low stress situations. (1) when i dropped out of college because of stress and anxiety, i cried every night and finally left. I dont think ill ever go to school now, theres no reason to. (2) moving to a new city, cant even handle that. i have a great life (?) and it just seems to be my brain. i take anti-depressants and they dont work, if i renewed my perscription i think there would be enough to make me throw up, but i dont think i would die. im too scared to tell my doctor that im not sure they are working, becuase its always my fault anyways. its always me who messes something up and thats why the pills arent working. i am definitively a waste of breath on this earth, i would never say that about anybody else except for myself. i would love to kill myself, but its my own cowardice that keeps me from doing so. i cant handle anything. maybe im ungreatful or a piece of garbage for not being happy with what i have but i dont know how to be happy. my brain just doesnt get happy anymore, even if i do things that i know i should enjoy, im not fucking happy. i dont enjoy anything anymore. therapy tells me that its anxiety, and that i can do things to make myself happier but ive never quite got there. ive dont some things in my life that im not proud of, and leaving behind the people that i care about owul