Method With a few minor modifications, my Exit Bag setup is complete

[mrwizard11]

Thankfully I was able to get my regulator ordered and shipped just a few days before escmode was shut down. It was supposed to be a week late but it showed up unexpectedly today. My setup is finally complete save for a leak checks and a few modifications I plan to make to my exit bag. I felt an immense wave of relief having my gear ready to go.

It's surreal how beautiful and warm it is outside, with a cool breeze blowing and yet I feel so dead inside. If she were still here, we would have enjoyed this day. We loved to go walking together and today would have been perfect for skipping lunch and going for a walk together before rushing back for the early afternoon meetings. I miss you so much.

This will be the location where I take my final breaths. I plan to listen to music and look at pictures of her and my cats. I have no one else. No one else will miss me. I don't even think she will miss me or I wouldn't be in this mess right now. I'm tired of the pain and I just want it to stop.

 

[twinklywater]

Don't think she'd be worth spending your last moments looking at. I hope you have a peaceful exit.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand why having a plan to leave this world would make you feel so relieved, I hope that when the time is right you find the freedom that you are searching for.

 

[kadjflakflajlk]

what motivated you to register here to tell your story of your last few days? it seems so alien to me that someone could let a woman get to them this much. if you still have your health and she is the only thing making you do this then go out drink some beer, bang some hookers, travel the world.

 

[mrwizard11]

Don't think she'd be worth spending your last moments looking at. I hope you have a peaceful exit.

She still looks like the woman I married and loved. She's not the same person now but I still miss who she was.

what motivated you to register here to tell your story of your last few days? it seems so alien to me that someone could let a woman get to them this much. if you still have your health and she is the only thing making you do this then go out drink some beer, bang some hookers, travel the world.

I registered for research mostly. I'm still searching for a reason to stay but if nothing happens sometime soon then I will exit. I don't want to be alone and I'm tired of the pain. I've never been strong.

 

[Das Nichts]

what motivated you to register here to tell your story of your last few days? it seems so alien to me that someone could let a woman get to them this much. if you still have your health and she is the only thing making you do this then go out drink some beer, bang some hookers, travel the world.

You statement is quite insensitive but there is some truth in in it. I'm in a similar situation like op and I know CTB is so not worth the cause
but it's hard to overcome your personality.

 

[kadjflakflajlk]

i just wish my only problem was a failed relationship and i'd be the happiest man in the world. so yeah it's difficult for me to relate to this one.

 

[Das Nichts]

i just wish my only problem was a failed relationship and i'd be the happiest man in the world. so yeah it's difficult for me to relate to this one.

To each his/her own problems. Although I think about this a lot, all the people who have been dealt a shitty hand regarding to
health issues, abused and what not else.

There is privilege in life and there is also in death.

 

[mrwizard11]

i just wish my only problem was a failed relationship and i'd be the happiest man in the world. so yeah it's difficult for me to relate to this one.

I was happy until this. I have everything else.

That's how depression and suicidal thoughts work, and one person's problems don't align with someone else's. I wish I had other problems besides a failed marriage but you can't wish your problems away or I wouldn't be here.

 

[Das Nichts]

It's strange, I can relate to you situation so much, yet I don't know what I should write.
I can tell you that the sorrow will go away after some time, but it will be replaced with emptiness.

The way forward would be to find things for yourself and yourself alone. You must keep those
things going even if you have another partner. Relationships can break up and as hard as this
is, this is how life is going. And it must not be a bad thing either, people change.

At least in principle.

 

[Glandular]

I was happy until this. I have everything else.

That's how depression and suicidal thoughts work, and one person's problems don't align with someone else's. I wish I had other problems besides a failed marriage but you can't wish your problems away or I wouldn't be here.

My strong opinion is that every person should have the right to a peaceful exit. No matter the reason.

That being said, I think you should wait and see if things somehow improve for you. I'll tell you a bit about my story to explain why these are my thoughts about your case. Like you, I had everything (a good relationship, a promising career, a positive outlook on my future ... ) but last year my body started failing me. When they finally brought me to a hospital and I was diagnosed with a chronic degenerative disease my life, as I imagined it, was over. All my dreams about the future, all my goals and plans were suddenly gone. My only wish ever since is to be healthy again. But I cannot be healed. There is nothing that can be done about my condition. I'm in pain every day and I know for a fact that it'll only get worse. In the first few month after the diagnosis I was terribly envious of basically any other person that was healthy. I now have accepted my fate and I will try too live as long as the quality of my life is still accetable.

I don't want to imply that my situation is worse than yours because I don't know your pain. But I see a chance that it can get better in the future for you. Your condition is not uncurable. Just think about it.

 

[Das Nichts]

My strong opinion is that every person should have the right to a peaceful exit. No matter the reason.

That being said, I think you should wait and see if things somehow improve for you. I'll tell you a bit about my story to explain why these are my thoughts about your case. Like you, I had everything (a good relationship, a promising career, a positive outlook on my future ... ) but last year my body started failing me. When they finally brought me to a hospital and I was diagnosed with a chronic degenerative disease my life, as I imagined it, was over. All my dreams about the future, all my goals and plans were suddenly gone. My only wish ever since is to be healthy again. But I cannot be healed. There is nothing that can be done about my condition. I'm in pain every day and I know for a fact that it'll only get worse. In the first few month after the diagnosis I was terribly envious of basically any other person that was healthy. I now have accepted my fate and I will try too live as long as the quality of my life is still accetable.

I don't want to imply that my situation is worse than yours because I don't know your pain. But I see a chance that it can get better in the future for you. Your condition is not uncurable. Just think about it.

Thanks for sharing. I'm in a somewhat similar situation like OP and I think about this alot.

 

[outrider567]

Thankfully I was able to get my regulator ordered and shipped just a few days before escmode was shut down. It was supposed to be a week late but it showed up unexpectedly today. My setup is finally complete save for a leak checks and a few modifications I plan to make to my exit bag. I felt an immense wave of relief having my gear ready to go.

It's surreal how beautiful and warm it is outside, with a cool breeze blowing and yet I feel so dead inside. If she were still here, we would have enjoyed this day. We loved to go walking together and today would have been perfect for skipping lunch and going for a walk together before rushing back for the early afternoon meetings. I miss you so much.

This will be the location where I take my final breaths. I plan to listen to music and look at pictures of her and my cats. I have no one else. No one else will miss me. I don't even think she will miss me or I wouldn't be in this mess right now. I'm tired of the pain and I just want it to stop.

So sorry to hear EscMode shut down, their click regulators and EEBD hood with attached tubing made everything so easy

 

[GasMonkey]

I like that wheel for hand tighten it.

 

[TermStay]

Thankfully I was able to get my regulator ordered and shipped just a few days before escmode was shut down. It was supposed to be a week late but it showed up unexpectedly today. My setup is finally complete save for a leak checks and a few modifications I plan to make to my exit bag. I felt an immense wave of relief having my gear ready to go.

It's surreal how beautiful and warm it is outside, with a cool breeze blowing and yet I feel so dead inside. If she were still here, we would have enjoyed this day. We loved to go walking together and today would have been perfect for skipping lunch and going for a walk together before rushing back for the early afternoon meetings. I miss you so much.

This will be the location where I take my final breaths. I plan to listen to music and look at pictures of her and my cats. I have no one else. No one else will miss me. I don't even think she will miss me or I wouldn't be in this mess right now. I'm tired of the pain and I just want it to stop.

I'm very sorry you feel this way and I hope you can find your peace.
I plan on doing the same method would you want to tell me how many liters you have?

 

[mrwizard11]

I'm very sorry you feel this way and I hope you can find your peace.
I plan on doing the same method would you want to tell me how many liters you have?

Thank you. I don't want to go but I will if I can't find happiness.

I have an Argon 40cf tank and I recently added a Nitrogen 40cf tank. Both are about 1100 liters which should be more than enough to CTB. I mainly use the Argon for testing and will use the Nitrogen when ready. I have both because I ordered Argon online because I was too nervous to go in person to get Nitrogen but recently was able to work up the courage to go get the Nitrogen tank too.

 

[outrider567]

Thank you. I don't want to go but I will if I can't find happiness.

I have an Argon 40cf tank and I recently added a Nitrogen 40cf tank. Both are about 1100 liters which should be more than enough to CTB. I mainly use the Argon for testing and will use the Nitrogen when ready. I have both because I ordered Argon online because I was too nervous to go in person to get Nitrogen but recently was able to work up the courage to go get the Nitrogen tank too.

Yes, 1100 liters is much more than enough

 

[TermStay]

Thank you. I don't want to go but I will if I can't find happiness.

I have an Argon 40cf tank and I recently added a Nitrogen 40cf tank. Both are about 1100 liters which should be more than enough to CTB. I mainly use the Argon for testing and will use the Nitrogen when ready. I have both because I ordered Argon online because I was too nervous to go in person to get Nitrogen but recently was able to work up the courage to go get the Nitrogen tank too.

Thank you alot
I hope you find your happiness, however and wherever that may be

 

[It'sMyLife]

I'm trying to get to the same point myself. I called a gas supply place and had a nice talk with a guy there. He told me the tanks here are cga 580 but he doesn't deal with bar or lpm and also his regulators work with pressure levels mostly. I'm not wanting to publicly post the link I have because tantacrul is watching I'm pretty sure these folks are contacting these companies and ratting for any link posted. I'm thinking about dm'ing you the link so I can get your opinion. It has a flow meter as well and is the click type for about $170

 

[mrwizard11]

I'm trying to get to the same point myself. I called a gas supply place and had a nice talk with a guy there. He told me the tanks here are cga 580 but he doesn't deal with bar or lpm and also his regulators work with pressure levels mostly. I'm not wanting to publicly post the link I have because tantacrul is watching I'm pretty sure these folks are contacting these companies and ratting for any link posted. I'm thinking about dm'ing you the link so I can get your opinion. It has a flow meter as well and is the click type for about $170

DM me I am happy to share what I know.