Venting Wish to ctb is almost painful

[painfree]

Some evenings I'm so depressed it's almost painful because I have no method on hand. I'm a very impulsive person and I've known for over a year (honestly 35 yrs) that I want to ctb soon but I can't risk not picking and planning for a guarantee. My plan up until recently was to jump but I hesitate on the place being high enough. I'm alone and evenings are hardest so I just cry and start to daydream about doing it. It's the only thing that brings me any remote sign of comfort. (Hope I'm posting in the right place)

 

[tirednwired]

I feel you. I have a method planned out and the only reason I'm still here is fear of failure. But, I'm slowly coming to terms with the fact that all the choices we make can have unintended consequences, and CTB is no exception. It's just a risk we have to be willing to take. Hope you find peace friend