I've been thinking on and off about suicide for years now. There's quite a bit of suicide methods but so far I haven't found any that'd be "the one". Either I can't understand something or the method seems too painful, or there are unavailability problems. Consequences of a failed attempt scare me, too. I hate life but I'd hate being in a wheelchair just as much. I also lack courage and suicide always seems to be a tremendous effort that I don't have enough endurance for. You can hear about successful suicide so often, may it be your neighbor or a celebrity and it makes me wonder if I'm just too stupid to commit suicide.
Giraffey
Your Orange Crush
- Mar 7, 2020
- 439
Perhaps it would be good to approach the problem in reverse. If you were to list your criteria for your CTB experience then you can look through the different methods and match them against it.
Some of my own criteria are as follows:
Minimal pain/suffering (in particular, no dyspnea whilst conscious)
Leave my body looking reasonably peaceful
Must not carry any risk of vomiting (I have a phobia)
Etc.
From those criteria (and many others not listed) I designed my death - so I actually have a very detailed plan which contains four or five different methods. Two primary methods which are the modes of my choosing, and two or three secondary methods which are my options should I be unable to access either of the first two methods (for example, if I were to be sectioned and lose my liberty), with the primary methods all of my criteria are met, the secondary methods don't meet all of my criteria but they are only intended as options of last resort under very specific circumstances.
The key is research, the more you plan, the more confident you become not just that a particular method is 'right' for you, but with so much work and planning, it takes away the impulse element, if you aren't a hundred percent sure that you're ready to CTB.
Some of my own criteria are as follows:
Minimal pain/suffering (in particular, no dyspnea whilst conscious)
Leave my body looking reasonably peaceful
Must not carry any risk of vomiting (I have a phobia)
Etc.
From those criteria (and many others not listed) I designed my death - so I actually have a very detailed plan which contains four or five different methods. Two primary methods which are the modes of my choosing, and two or three secondary methods which are my options should I be unable to access either of the first two methods (for example, if I were to be sectioned and lose my liberty), with the primary methods all of my criteria are met, the secondary methods don't meet all of my criteria but they are only intended as options of last resort under very specific circumstances.
The key is research, the more you plan, the more confident you become not just that a particular method is 'right' for you, but with so much work and planning, it takes away the impulse element, if you aren't a hundred percent sure that you're ready to CTB.
TheGoodGuy
Visionary
- Aug 27, 2018
- 2,999
You are not too stupid to commit suicide although I feel the same sometimes with certain methods that requires too many steps it´s the SI that is the problem if we could remove it completely there would be many easy methods like train decapitation which takes courage or suicide jump and these methods are completely painless they are just very scary.
YukiFox
Pastel demon
- Dec 8, 2018
- 320
it's hard to break a taboo, and suicide it's one of the ultimate taboos in society. The mainstream media told us that it always wrong, so we kept that concept of suicide on our minds. Only the people who we're in despair understand why people choose to die. The effort is to overcome that taboo inserted in our minds and embrace our decision as an comfort, rather than a undesirable path. When I overcome my inner taboo, I feel more relieved. Perhaps you need to not punish yourself and understand why you want to do it. Also, saying goodbye to ourselves is the hardest part, because we are accustomed to live and not to die.
JustAnotherSuicider
Hoping for the best - expecting the worst
- Dec 28, 2019
- 98
Yeah, I feel you. You can hear all around about people that just hang themselves using the first thing that they had under their hand. No planning, no preparation, they just do it straight away. And here I am, planning it for 6 month now - and I'm still alive :(
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fuck the society and especially the media, its all just a bad dream
Bct
Disqualified from Being Human
- Apr 20, 2020
- 419
Nah, I don't think you're too stupid to CTB since your problem isn't only about understanding steps of some methods. I admit survival instinct is suck since it prevents us from commit even at the last minute.
I think listing down criteria like what @SlowMo posted could be a good baby steps.
I think listing down criteria like what @SlowMo posted could be a good baby steps.
foreverbroken28
I've gone off the deep end.
- Jul 11, 2019
- 124
I think the pain of death and seeking a way that won't be painful is what's most scary to us. If we could just fall asleep and die in a lucid dream, most people would probably take that route.
I agree with what SloMo said. My method is SN because the worst part, apparently is feeling drunk and possibly throwing up with a bit of tachycardia. I'm used to drinking and I have tachycardia anyways so it is the best route. That is how I chose.
Oh money is also a huge issue. Money & legality. Most of the peaceful methods are illegal & expensive af.
I agree with what SloMo said. My method is SN because the worst part, apparently is feeling drunk and possibly throwing up with a bit of tachycardia. I'm used to drinking and I have tachycardia anyways so it is the best route. That is how I chose.
Oh money is also a huge issue. Money & legality. Most of the peaceful methods are illegal & expensive af.
SpottedPanda
I'm all about coffee and cigarettes
- Jul 24, 2019
- 612
Ever since being a child I've always had the strange desire to be in a wheelchair. Don't know why. Probably too lazy to walk everywhere. Being brain dead doesn't scare me all that much, either. I think from the person's perspective it'd be like not existing, anyway.
I've been suicidal since 2014, with times I've decided to stick it out for a while, but that time is done. I fantasise about there being a switch in the temple area, that when turned sends you to sleep, and you die. If that were the case, I'd 100% be gone now.
What I'm surprised about, after some research, is how complex, and indeed how difficult it seems, to kill yourself. A painful method isn't an option. I could not for instance, punch myself in the face, or cut myself. I'm just not wired to endure self harm in those terms.
I am cautiously optimistic about the Night Night method, so if that works when lockdown's over and I'm back in the solitude of home, then I'll be gone. If not then maybe an exit bag. I share the above sentiments. I wish it was easier, and not such a minefield of questionable, difficult measures.
I've been suicidal since 2014, with times I've decided to stick it out for a while, but that time is done. I fantasise about there being a switch in the temple area, that when turned sends you to sleep, and you die. If that were the case, I'd 100% be gone now.
What I'm surprised about, after some research, is how complex, and indeed how difficult it seems, to kill yourself. A painful method isn't an option. I could not for instance, punch myself in the face, or cut myself. I'm just not wired to endure self harm in those terms.
I am cautiously optimistic about the Night Night method, so if that works when lockdown's over and I'm back in the solitude of home, then I'll be gone. If not then maybe an exit bag. I share the above sentiments. I wish it was easier, and not such a minefield of questionable, difficult measures.
tthis is always a lie, no one does it sporadically, always comes with months and often years of planing, considerations and essentially conditioning.
I don't think committing suicide is stupid at all. But it's not easy to do, especially when SI kicks in. I've attempted 3 times now and everytime SI has stopped me. I find it frustrating that I can't get past it. The closest I've been is when I've acted on impulse... maybe having too much time to think about it allows your SI to get stronger? I'm not too sure, I'm just thinking aloud...
Please don't think you're stupid. Someone once told me that I haven't been successful yet because there's something in my subconscious that I'm holding on too....
Please don't think you're stupid. Someone once told me that I haven't been successful yet because there's something in my subconscious that I'm holding on too....
SuicidalSymphonies
I think I'll take a dirt nap.
- Oct 13, 2019
- 1,028
Nice to meet another Lei.
I totally understand what you mean, but for me, going through recovery has been my hardest point yet. Honestly, ctb would have been so much easier, but I have found some reasons to live and am looking for more.
I barely have a single thread of SI if you'd like to trade.. Lol. x
I totally understand what you mean, but for me, going through recovery has been my hardest point yet. Honestly, ctb would have been so much easier, but I have found some reasons to live and am looking for more.
I barely have a single thread of SI if you'd like to trade.. Lol. x
I'm just about to start some therapy. I'm pretty sceptical about it if I'm honest, but we'll see. I'm glad to hear it's helped you find reasons to live
If suicide was easy most of us wouldn't be here right now. There's a good chance the human race would have died out long ago.
It's good to think things over: both the decision itself and the technical aspects. The last part isn't helped by the fact that society pretty much outlawed suicide (at least in as much as it can: obviously the dead can't be punished) and does everything it can to restrict access to humane suicide methods. It would almost seem like the powers that be want people to suffer on their way out and thus create a deterrence through fear.
To me this says a lot about society as a whole: it's telling that people need to be forced to use inhumane means (prevention from escaping misery, which oftentimes is caused at least partly by that very same society) while if life were so great and wonderful as they claim surely no-one would care if painfree methods were freely available? If life is great and everything is going well who'd want to die?
Being careful and thinking things through is anything but stupid. More like the opposite.
It's good to think things over: both the decision itself and the technical aspects. The last part isn't helped by the fact that society pretty much outlawed suicide (at least in as much as it can: obviously the dead can't be punished) and does everything it can to restrict access to humane suicide methods. It would almost seem like the powers that be want people to suffer on their way out and thus create a deterrence through fear.
To me this says a lot about society as a whole: it's telling that people need to be forced to use inhumane means (prevention from escaping misery, which oftentimes is caused at least partly by that very same society) while if life were so great and wonderful as they claim surely no-one would care if painfree methods were freely available? If life is great and everything is going well who'd want to die?
Being careful and thinking things through is anything but stupid. More like the opposite.
Shinbu
Shiki
- Nov 23, 2019
- 477
I just can't comprehend why things are the way they are. Society is a mess, I hope they grow up. Euthanasia is a right.
It doesn't make you stupid. Contrary to popular belief, suicide isn't easy in the modern era due to a number of causes like:
- Firearms controls (in a lot of countries).
- Medications that were used in the past such as barbiturates being replaced by safer modern alternatives.
- Difficulty getting hold of a lot of narcotics.
Wheelz1985
Ready to roll out.
- Mar 19, 2020
- 39
I'm in a wheelchair and want to die or think about dying everyday. Hanging is hard for me to go through with. I need a method without so much mental anguish involved. Yeah it sucks being in a chair. I wake up depressed, instead of getting up, i'll lay in bed most of the day. Just recently the problems in my life, have finally outweighed any reason I had for holding on. The loneliness is actually worse than being a cripple. Combined though..Definitely makes me wanna leave this planet.
