Wish somebody can just kill me

[sulk]

I have to die. I have to fucking do it. I don't want to keep complaining about how horrible my life is and shit I just want to fucking die and I wish it wasn't so fucking hard. I wish it wasn't hard to just fucking die I'm so jealous of people who can just die like that so many people die but me fuck it's so fucking unfortunate. Can someone just fucking kill me already. I'd do anything to die. I want to get someone to kill me.

 

[SweetMemories]

feel this..

 

[Deer_Dairy]

I have a gun. Looking for a friend to speak about ctb and if everything ok, make some deal, like some agreement. I do not know how to call it. Just to help each other to overcome the fear.

 

[SweetMemories]

I have a gun. Looking for a friend to speak about ctb and if everything ok, make some deal, like some agreement. I do not know how to call it. Just to help each other to overcome the fear.

we tend to go into extreme territory when we can't think because depression is fuck up our brain. I could never do this "agreement."

Germany fucking sucks. You can only hang in here. If i had a gun, i would be pretty optimistic, lol.
can't do the license because of "depression" in my list of diseases.

 

[Deer_Dairy]

we tend to go into extreme territory when we can't think because depression is fuck up our brain. I could never do this "agreement."

Germany fucking sucks. You can only hang in here. If i had a gun, i would be pretty optimistic, lol.
can't do the license because of "depression" in my list of diseases.

I have this "fucked up" thinking behind me. When I was in my worst state, I almost did it, but I gave it one last try and called for help. Spent months in psych ward, it helped me, found psychiatrist and therapist, I take my meds as scheduled, go to therapy etc.

I am quite ok. I've been struggling from my 20s. Now I am old enough to see what life gave me and what was the cost. It was not a good deal. Not at all. It is my decision, let's say "fully informed decision" to end it. But I am aware the survival instinct is extremly strong. Always hoping everything will be good, isn't it? Well, it won't, but this instinct is so strong it can trick you into thinking otherwise.
That's why I would appreciate to have someone I can go with. To reduce fear and weaken this instinct. I know it will be extremly hard to overcome this most basic instinct.

 

[sulk]

I have a gun. Looking for a friend to speak about ctb and if everything ok, make some deal, like some agreement. I do not know how to call it. Just to help each other to overcome the fear.

Like a ctb pact? I hear ya. It would be so nice to have someone to die with, but it comes with its risks. What if one survives and one dies? Thats what has been holding me back from doing a pact honestly. It's nice to imagine though

 

[Deer_Dairy]

Like a ctb pact? I hear ya. It would be so nice to have someone to die with, but it comes with its risks. What if one survives and one dies? Thats what has been holding me back from doing a pact honestly. It's nice to imagine though

I am quite positive nobody will survive .50 cal gun shot in the head. So I do not fear that outcome.