Venting Wish I never existed

[FuneralCry]

I see it as being something so cruel and terrible having the ability to exist, I wish I never existed more than anything and I see it as being perfection never being burdened with existence, it's perfect to completely be unaware, only the eternity of non-existence has ever appealed to me, I only desire eternal, dreamless sleep, I hate how existence ruined the true peace of nothingness, existence is something incredibly evil.

I see it as being so incredibly selfish and criminal forcing one out of the ideal state of non-existence where they will be enslaved in a decaying flesh prison in this nightmarish world filled with endless harm, there's no peace and safety from suffering in existence, there is no limit as to how much one can be tormented in this futile cycle of endless cruelty.

I despise how I was forced here and have to pay the price because of the decision to procreate, existence is a punishment, it's something so futile, disgusting and repulsive, existing just leads to pain and decay which is why it's only compassionate to leave the non-existent alone in peace and I've only ever wished for peace.

It will always be tragic that despite the fact that humans continue to harmfully force life here due to being blinded by delusions we still cannot just choose to fall asleep eternally, instead we are just expected to suffer and the fact that suicide is purposely so difficult makes me wish I never existed even more, to never exist means to never suffer and nobody can be harmed by not-existing.

I could never see it as being justified forcing life into this hellish reality as there is nothing acceptable about the inevitability of suffering, I find it so dreadful and horrible how anyone has to suffer so unnecessarily.

 

[TheMetalhead]

Despite how we are suffering now, a huge percent of us will find inner peace eventually.

Be it by taking your own life or moving on accepting that the world we live in is meant simply to agonize.

Warm hugs friend, I hope you won't suffer for long

 

[Thornless Rose]

I think a lot of us here relate to that. If there was a button to disappear, not die, just remove our existence as if we never were to start with... I'm convinced most of us would press it.
No worries about leaving people or unfinished business behind... just *poof* back to not being.

Just know that you're not the only one having these thoughts :)

 

[Glandular]

I sometimes have these thoughts too. If I never existed, I wouldn't need to make that terrible decision between living with extreme pain or hurting my loved ones with my suicide. Nobody misses someone who never existed.

 

[bluebus]

I am so sorry for all the pain and suffering you've been through. It's obvious that life has not been fair to you, and I wish that wasn't the case. I understand the feeling of not wanting to have ever existed. Today more so than ever. If it's any consolation (and I know it's not much) the work you've done here on this forum is truly , truly irreplaceable. You have provided love, kindness, compassion, and support to so many of us (myself included) and I can't thank you enough for that. If you had never existed then this place would be a lot darker. I know that's no cure for all the pain and suffering of life, but I hope you understand what a truly positive difference you have made here. Anyways just wanted to say thanks for everything, and I hope you are able to find peace soon. Lots of love, bb

 

[Arrow]

Im glad I existed at all I just wish it hadn't been so excruciating

 

[stage4johnny]

FC,is there anyone in your life that loves you? Anyone who thinks,well today ima go see FC!

 

[FuneralCry]

FC,is there anyone in your life that loves you? Anyone who thinks,well today ima go see FC!

I do have family members but I don't see it as being particularly loving how my parents decided to force me to exist here, I will always see procreation as an incredibly selfish, harmful act even know I have no problems with my parents apart from how I hate that they burdened me with the ability to exist.

 

[_02aslademe]

Ever since I was little I remember wishing I could "reset"; like, start over completely as a new person, new brain, new everything. That would mean that "I" would disappear and someone "real" and actually worth something would take my place. I think being able to disappear would be better than dying- if it could be as if you had never existed in the first place. I wouldn't be a burden after I die nor would I cause any hurt after.

 

[jemetire]

Existence is unbearable if I didn't exist I wouldn't feel so much pain this is hell