P

Peachycherry

Member
Oct 3, 2020
71
It feels like walking home from school, at that hour in the afternoon where the sunset gives a golden tinge to your whole perspective. The freshly settled snow glitters under the rays. You pass by people tirelessly shoveling that glinting powder away and wonder if they take a moment to appreciate its beauty. Your boots are letting a bit of melted snow in; you start to lose feeling in your toes. Your hands that are exposed to the unforgiving cold are getting red; they're numb but you know they'll start getting warm again once you get home. Home; utter peace, relaxation after the long school day, where you get to unwind, be yourself without the stares of others. You'll get to make yourself a hot drink and enjoy it without thinking about anything else. Finally, the day is over. But before that, you need to actually get home. Crackling, scrunching, goes the snow under your boots. Your backpack is so heavy, it's weighing you down, you've been carrying it a whole lifetime. You can't wait to finally put it down. The way to your house seems forever away, you think you won't be able to get to it. You consider just giving up and going back to school, just to get a bit of temporary warmth back. Yet that same thought of warmth keeps you going; you've got to reach home, so far yet so close. Once you'll be home, it'll be over. Now it's gotten so cold you can't feel your whole body. So close. You start to see your home in the distance. Closer. Time has blurred but somehow you've got there; you're home. Finally, the journey is over. You open the door and your loved ones are there, waiting for you. You haven't seen them in forever. They're surprised to see you; none of them expected to see you so early. Nonetheless they accept you with open arms. You get to make yourself your hot drink; you drink it with contentment, pride, relief, peace, and don't think about anything else, ever again.
I can't wait for winter to come.
 
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XYZ

XYZ

I just can’t get these damn wrists to bleed
Jul 22, 2020
800
You open the door and your loved ones are there, waiting for you.

It's such a burden that they are waiting. Because as long as they exist there is nothing I can do that doesn't either please or hurt them. I wish they only felt that weightless indifference of the heart so that I could let go without remorse.
 
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Peachycherry

Member
Oct 3, 2020
71
It's such a burden that they are waiting. Because as long as they exist there is nothing I can do that doesn't either please or hurt them. I wish they only felt that weightless indifference of the heart so that I could let go without remorse.
I'm sorry you feel so burdened by the thought of your loved ones. If I may offer you some solace though; that excerpt was meant as a metaphor for joining the afterlife. That's why the loved ones are surprised to see you; they didn't know you were suicidal and are surprised that you died so young. The 'home' is a metaphor for death, hence the 'loved ones' are people that already passed away. The whole text is a metaphor about death and suicide, but I really dont mind if you give it another meaning, I wrote it because it was an idea I had for a while. Wish you the best.
 
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XYZ

XYZ

I just can’t get these damn wrists to bleed
Jul 22, 2020
800
Yes, I see it now. It's about death. I really loved reading it, thank you.
 
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XYZ

XYZ

I just can’t get these damn wrists to bleed
Jul 22, 2020
800
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TheSoulless

TheSoulless

I'd like to fly but my wings have been so denied
Jan 7, 2020
1,055
Beautiful.:heart:
 
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Peachycherry

Member
Oct 3, 2020
71
Do you do a lot of writing? Do you have any particular sources of inspiration or any writers you admire a lot?
I don't write a lot but I do read quite often. I wouldn't say an author in particular has marked me, I read a lot of small works and poetry yet I don't really have favorites. If it gives you a bit of context, I'm currently reading Moby dick for my English class. Maybe Herman Melville's way of world building in the story influenced me a bit.
 
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Deleted member 1465

_
Jul 31, 2018
6,914
It feels like walking home from school, at that hour in the afternoon where the sunset gives a golden tinge to your whole perspective. The freshly settled snow glitters under the rays. You pass by people tirelessly shoveling that glinting powder away and wonder if they take a moment to appreciate its beauty. Your boots are letting a bit of melted snow in; you start to lose feeling in your toes. Your hands that are exposed to the unforgiving cold are getting red; they're numb but you know they'll start getting warm again once you get home. Home; utter peace, relaxation after the long school day, where you get to unwind, be yourself without the stares of others. You'll get to make yourself a hot drink and enjoy it without thinking about anything else. Finally, the day is over. But before that, you need to actually get home. Crackling, scrunching, goes the snow under your boots. Your backpack is so heavy, it's weighing you down, you've been carrying it a whole lifetime. You can't wait to finally put it down. The way to your house seems forever away, you think you won't be able to get to it. You consider just giving up and going back to school, just to get a bit of temporary warmth back. Yet that same thought of warmth keeps you going; you've got to reach home, so far yet so close. Once you'll be home, it'll be over. Now it's gotten so cold you can't feel your whole body. So close. You start to see your home in the distance. Closer. Time has blurred but somehow you've got there; you're home. Finally, the journey is over. You open the door and your loved ones are there, waiting for you. You haven't seen them in forever. They're surprised to see you; none of them expected to see you so early. Nonetheless they accept you with open arms. You get to make yourself your hot drink; you drink it with contentment, pride, relief, peace, and don't think about anything else, ever again.
I can't wait for winter to come.
It's feeling I remember from my childhood. You have captured it well.
 
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NeverGoodEnuff

Specialist
Sep 28, 2020
398
Thank you.
 
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greebo6

Enlightened
Sep 11, 2020
1,589
It feels like walking home from school, at that hour in the afternoon where the sunset gives a golden tinge to your whole perspective. The freshly settled snow glitters under the rays. You pass by people tirelessly shoveling that glinting powder away and wonder if they take a moment to appreciate its beauty. Your boots are letting a bit of melted snow in; you start to lose feeling in your toes. Your hands that are exposed to the unforgiving cold are getting red; they're numb but you know they'll start getting warm again once you get home. Home; utter peace, relaxation after the long school day, where you get to unwind, be yourself without the stares of others. You'll get to make yourself a hot drink and enjoy it without thinking about anything else. Finally, the day is over. But before that, you need to actually get home. Crackling, scrunching, goes the snow under your boots. Your backpack is so heavy, it's weighing you down, you've been carrying it a whole lifetime. You can't wait to finally put it down. The way to your house seems forever away, you think you won't be able to get to it. You consider just giving up and going back to school, just to get a bit of temporary warmth back. Yet that same thought of warmth keeps you going; you've got to reach home, so far yet so close. Once you'll be home, it'll be over. Now it's gotten so cold you can't feel your whole body. So close. You start to see your home in the distance. Closer. Time has blurred but somehow you've got there; you're home. Finally, the journey is over. You open the door and your loved ones are there, waiting for you. You haven't seen them in forever. They're surprised to see you; none of them expected to see you so early. Nonetheless they accept you with open arms. You get to make yourself your hot drink; you drink it with contentment, pride, relief, peace, and don't think about anything else, ever again.
I can't wait for winter to come.
Lovely piece of writing. You are good .
 
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