I just want non-existence, I'd never wish for this dreadful, futile existence that just causes harm and suffering with no limit as to how much one can be tortured, I'll just always prefer to not exist than suffer no matter what.
I find it so deeply undesirable to exist in every way, to me existence itself is the true problem and I'd never wish for any of this, I just want to be unconscious for all eternity with all gone and torgotten about, for me non-existence is just all that's positive, for me non-existence is just the only relief, only in non-existence will I be at peace, to me existence just feels like the most terrible, cruel mistake.