Will you die in peace or in bitterness?

[Labyrinth]

Death reveals what is really important. I wish I had loved more, had more fraternal experiences, see that my journey had some value. The fortuitous moments when life is wonderful must be contemplated as they occur. I didn't know I was happy until the day it ended.

 

[FuneralCry]

If I knew that I'd never suffer in this existence ever again then of course I'd be at peace, all that I wish for is eternal nothingness where this cruel and torturous existence is eternally forgotten about, I'd never wish to exist no matter what and I'd be relieved to be permanently free from it, only death can bring me peace from the endless pain this existence causes.

 

[mythofsisyphus]

I think a bit of both... I did get to experience things in life I'm grateful for, and my life was on a fairly good path. I hope to hold onto gratitude for these things and have peace, but it can be a double edged sword if I'm not careful. The bitterness can definitely creep in ... "it's not fair, I want more good times, I want my life to continue on the path it was on etc. etc."

By the way, try not to beat yourself over taking things for granted. I relate a lot to what you said about not knowing I was happy until it ended... there's so many simple things I wish I could have back. It's actually these tiny simple things I miss the most... e.g. just waking up in the morning, seeing the sun creep through the window and feeling a sense of contentment and intrigue for the day ahead. But it's human nature to take things for granted - we simply don't know what we have until it's gone, because it's just our 'normal'. I'm trying not to let myself ruminate too much about this or blame myself etc. - I never knew what turns my life would take, of course I didn't revel in gratitude for every little small thing in life - who does?

 

[Beyond_Repair]

I won't die in bitterness. I know I did as much as I could with what I was given. I will be relieved to finally be able to rest, and hopefully it will be peaceful, but that much I can't completely control

 

[Agon321]

I will die in bitterness.

I will die with the awareness of unused potential and possibilities.
I will die as a young person who has achieved nothing.

I have had relatively few pleasant moments.
I also lack adrenaline in life.
My life is not going in any sensible direction at all.

Overall, I am an unfortunate failure and my death will simply be a consequence of unfavorable events and bad decisions.

The worst part of all this is that I did literally NOTHING to reverse my situation.

Well, nobody said it would be easy.

 

[Ligottian]

I will die in bitterness.

I will die with the awareness of unused potential and possibilities.
I will die as a young person who has achieved nothing.

I have had relatively few pleasant moments.
I also lack adrenaline in life.
My life is not going in any sensible direction at all.

Overall, I am an unfortunate failure and my death will simply be a consequence of unfavorable events and bad decisions.

The worst part of all this is that I did literally NOTHING to reverse my situation.

Well, nobody said it would be easy.

Except for the young person part, I could pretty much have written this post.

 

[rozeske]

In a feeling of resignation and peace.

 

[weightoffmychest]

Just acceptance and some relief hopefully. Preparing myself for pain in the final moments though just an inevitable part of it. No N so FS it is.

 

[UnluckyBastard]

Bitterness. I give what I have received. Everyone can burn

 

[esistzeit]

I found that dying is much easier to face if coming from a perspective of release, freedom, excitement and infinity.

Dying in bitterness will only make it hurt more still.

I am done with this timeline. There's no point in looking at it and contemplating the mistakes any further. I will not think of the things I didn't do or of the people that did me wrong; that will only bring pain. I do not wish to spend my final moments in emotional or physical pain.

I will think of the freedom and the potential of Infinity. This may be the end or it may the beginning of something greater. Either way I win.

I will spend it in peace.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Bitterness most likely. I have things/ people I'm grateful for but most of them are dead- so- the basic design of this world makes me feel bitter. I feel resentful I was given life to begin with so, I expect that will continue to the end. Plus, if I CTB, I'll be alone and scared and thinking about all the other people who suicide on their own, alone and scared, so that will piss me off too!

I'd much rather feel peaceful. Even if there isn't a physical hell, I think it's perfectly possible the brain can conjure up some awful nightmare scenario. And I feel like being in an agitated state will only increase the likelihood of that so, I suppose I will try to get myself in a calmer, nicer mood. Maybe it will be ok. It also (hopefully) means the end of everything. It's something I've wanted for decades. Maybe I'll be able to focus on that instead.

 

[Kusogaki]

✌

 

[ringo99]

I will die in bitterness.

I will die with the awareness of unused potential and possibilities.
I will die as a young person who has achieved nothing.

I have had relatively few pleasant moments.
I also lack adrenaline in life.
My life is not going in any sensible direction at all.

Overall, I am an unfortunate failure and my death will simply be a consequence of unfavorable events and bad decisions.

The worst part of all this is that I did literally NOTHING to reverse my situation.

Well, nobody said it would be easy.

This describes my situation so perfectly

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I will die in bitterness, not because I have regrets with life as I don't but rather because of how I'd be forced to die in such a brutal way. I'd be so bitter and annoyed at society for forcing me to die in a painful way instead of peacefully offer me euthanasia but it'd be worth it once I'm dead

 

[Bleneviola]

Peace and sorrow. Peace because finally I'll be able to rest.
Sorrow at the thought of my parents finding out

 

[Lost Magic]

Probably a bit of both. I will be at peace knowing that I will be no more, but I will be bitter at the thought of what could have been. Oh well.

 

[BirdWithoutWings]

Complete and utter bitterness. I never really got a proper chance, Ive always just been used as a stepping stone to help other people further along in their lives.

Thankfully, I don't have any living family or friends who'd care about my passing, so that does give me some sense of peace in that regard. Just bitter that I had to live this long and watch everyone else succeed and get what i wanted, while I was left with absolutely nothing and continuously discarded. But I suppose that those things does make the process of going through with it more peaceful, as there won't be any second guessing as there is no "good" for me to stick around for.

 

[nooneyouknow]

I'm not sure honestly, maybe both. I'd be bitter about the fact that my final choice is to CTB and just the life i lived that led me to choose to do so but peaceful as well because I'm leaving behind the life that led me to do so. And the knowledge I wouldn't have to deak with it anymore does sound so very much appealing

 

[Rhymester]

Bitterness.

 

[outrider567]

Sorrow--going to join my girlfriend

 

[JustA_LittlePerson]

I will die in bitterness.

I will die with the awareness of unused potential and possibilities.
I will die as a young person who has achieved nothing.

I have had relatively few pleasant moments.
I also lack adrenaline in life.
My life is not going in any sensible direction at all.

Overall, I am an unfortunate failure and my death will simply be a consequence of unfavorable events and bad decisions.

The worst part of all this is that I did literally NOTHING to reverse my situation.

Well, nobody said it would be easy.

The thing of it is... We really did have everything, didn't we?

 

[escape_from_hell]

I suspect I'm only going to be able to go through with it successfully when I let it all go and am at peace with death's inevitability.
My moments of hope or bitterness alike keep attaching me to this realm. Sadly every time I feel at peace with my decision there is a little relief sufficient to also keep me hanging on...

The guilt of taking things for granted is never-ending. Who knows what else you are taking for granted right now? The awareness of the good state arises when the problematic steals your attention.
Time flies when you're having fun.
We are only aware of our health when we are ill.
Ignorance is bliss.
It is as though the satisfied state is a blank or null state? We were totally healthy until the sickness of life was wrought upon our perfect nothing state.

 

[CYP11B1]

I will be furious. Life feels like a death by a thousand cuts in this ever more ill bodily shell, doomed by series of bad luck, seeing all these people who spat on what was given to them.

 

[avalonisburning]

Neither. I'm dying in acceptance and understanding. I did everything I could. Maybe I didn't do it hard enough, but at least I did it. But now I realize that it was always going to end this way, and I was only lying to myself by trying to find a way out.

 

[Ironborn]

Probably bitterness, I gave it a solid try but it felt like I was asked to do a job without being given the tools and training to do so.
My ADHD/anxiety riddled brain sure as shit didn't help.

 

[Boundless]

I will bathe in eternal peace.

 

[Aprilfarewell4]

I think a bit of both... I did get to experience things in life I'm grateful for, and my life was on a fairly good path. I hope to hold onto gratitude for these things and have peace, but it can be a double edged sword if I'm not careful. The bitterness can definitely creep in ... "it's not fair, I want more good times, I want my life to continue on the path it was on etc. etc."

By the way, try not to beat yourself over taking things for granted. I relate a lot to what you said about not knowing I was happy until it ended... there's so many simple things I wish I could have back. It's actually these tiny simple things I miss the most... e.g. just waking up in the morning, seeing the sun creep through the window and feeling a sense of contentment and intrigue for the day ahead. But it's human nature to take things for granted - we simply don't know what we have until it's gone, because it's just our 'normal'. I'm trying not to let myself ruminate too much about this or blame myself etc. - I never knew what turns my life would take, of course I didn't revel in gratitude for every little small thing in life - who does?

Why are you ctb?

 

[Hotsackage]

I'll forever be bitter(at my brain), but in general, I would hope for it to be like a meditation

 

[Aprilfarewell4]

I will die unknown in profound regret for what I did to cause my horrific suffering and death.

 

[LiveOrganization97]

I will die bitter for having been blessed with a brain so rotten - as I wouldn't conceive of anything like this if I was at peace. But I'm looking for it. That's why I wanna die. That's the only way to get it, isn't it.