Help Will this kill me?

[Rez_MbChB]

Yeah so something happend and its kinda pushed me to the edge, unfortunately I wanna die now but no pharmacies are open (can't even write myself a prescription), so what I have at home is about 10grams of quetiapine and 2.3grams amitryptiline, what do you guys thing since they both elongate Q-T it should be enough for me to be in cardiogenic shock right?

Cheers for suggestions/ thoughts on this

 

[cornflowerblue]

Yeah so something happend and its kinda pushed me to the edge, unfortunately I wanna die now but no pharmacies are open (can't even write myself a prescription), so what I have at home is about 10grams of quetiapine and 2.3grams amitryptiline, what do you guys thing since they both elongate Q-T it should be enough for me to be in cardiogenic shock right?

Cheers for suggestions/ thoughts on this

The only med combos known to be consistently lethal are the ones with published recipes. Everything else is a gamble, more likely you'll get some heart damage but stay alive.

 

[Aardwolf]

No idea about your plan but take your time with this. Yeah it'd be great to die now but make sure you do this right and don't end up in a worse situation.

 

[Rez_MbChB]

I just took a gamble and it blew up in my face, might try taking everything with some alcohol. then full suspension as well, double whammy.
was originally planning on doing it end of the year after my PGY2 using the 4 drug method in PPeH. Fuck my life lol.

 

[cornflowerblue]

I just took a gamble and it blew up in my face, might try taking everything with some alcohol. then full suspension as well, double whammy.
was originally planning on doing it end of the year after my PGY2 using the 4 drug method in PPeH. Fuck my life lol.

If you're talking about PGY2, you know well enough what the issues are with your plans and that the likelihood of failure and epic long-term brain damage is high.

I just took a gamble and it blew up in my face, might try taking everything with some alcohol. then full suspension as well, double whammy.
was originally planning on doing it end of the year after my PGY2 using the 4 drug method in PPeH. Fuck my life lol.

Whatever is going on can probably at least wait until pharmacies open, right?

 

[Rez_MbChB]

If you're talking about PGY2, you know well enough what the issues are with your plans and that the likelihood of failure and epic long-term brain damage is high.

yeah guess im jsut a bit irate and not thinking right now.. i just wish I was better prepared man

 

[cornflowerblue]

yeah guess im jsut a bit irate and not thinking right now.. i just wish I was better prepared man

Seriously it's better to do nothing than to do something impulsive and halfassed. Better to keep the current state of affairs, than to live with the current state plus the burdens caused by a failed attempt.

 

[Coolchicka]

yeah guess im jsut a bit irate and not thinking right now.. i just wish I was better prepared man

If you don't mind me asking, what pushed you toward the edge? And what made you choose to do PGY2 if you're suicidal?

 

[Rez_MbChB]

If you don't mind me asking, what pushed you toward the edge? And what made you choose to do PGY2 if you're suicidal?

Was already working when my gf left me, so i've just kinda kept working.. Uhh i messaged her on social media which she hadnt blocked me (wishing her well), its been about 3 months and she just blocked me so I guess ive lost hope.

 

[Letmego. Please]

Hey, selfish other people are not a good reason to rush into anything & possibly make things even worse for you, which i don't want.

Please try to be kind to yourself & have some thinking room.

 

[Coolchicka]

Was already working when my gf left me, so i've just kinda kept working.. Uhh i messaged her on social media which she hadnt blocked me (wishing her well), its been about 3 months and she just blocked me so I guess ive lost hope.

Ah, I'm sorry. As cliche as it sounds there are other people out there and it looks like you have a bright future (being PGY2). I have no right to talk about your quality of life, but I think you should put some more thought into this before talking drastic measures.

Wishing you the best.

 

[Jean Améry]

I have no idea whether that would work or not (the drugs, hanging probably would work) but I wouldn't do anything rash if I were you. Despair and lack of proper preparation all too often equal grave injuries which can very well be permanent. I'm guessing you do not want to end up handicapped which is a real possibility if the brain is deprived of oxygen for too long.

Imo one should either work towards building a life worth living or making absolutely sure the suicide attempt is going to be succesful. Harming oneself in a way that is likely to end in survival is a bad idea in my view.

Good luck. I hope you make the right decision.

 

[Throwaway9787]

Probably would kill you. But if you don't follow the regiment it might not be peaceful.

 

[Soul]

@Rez_MbChB, I understand that you hurt, and I'm sorry, but this isn't the way to go. You know it's a mistake to rush this; you know what you'd advise any of us. Please do your best to simmer down and think things through. We're here to talk and we want the best for you.

 

[jake3d]

You don't have enough Ami and you don't have benzos. Don't do it.

 

[Throwaway9787]

You don't have enough Ami and you don't have benzos. Don't do it.

Yeah this

 

[Coolchicka]

Imo one should either work towards building a life worth living or making absolutely sure the suicide attempt is going to be succesful. Harming oneself in a way that is likely to end in survival is a bad idea in my view.

Couldn't have put it better, well said.

 

[Rez_MbChB]

i guess I survived and was too pussy to take it... Got whats detailed in the 4 drug cocktail today though, we will see what happens I guess. Thanks for the positive thoughts.

 

[cornflowerblue]

i guess I survived and was too pussy to take it... Got whats detailed in the 4 drug cocktail today though, we will see what happens I guess. Thanks for the positive thoughts.

Do you not have access to lethal means like fentanyl, morphine, propofol, N, or any of that? I'd think that in your position, you could even steal some and IV yourself for a sure outcome.

 

[Rez_MbChB]

Do you not have access to lethal means like fentanyl, morphine, propofol, N, or any of that? I'd think that in your position, you could even steal some and IV yourself for a sure outcome.

Would have to steal it, worried about losing my job because keep changing my mind...

 

[cornflowerblue]

Would have to steal it, worried about losing my job because keep changing my mind...

That would be a guaranteed outcome so yeah not a possibility if you keep changing your mind.

 

[Soul]

Are you okay, @Rez_MbChB? If you're having doubts it's probably a signal not to rush things, right? (((Hugs)))

 

[Rez_MbChB]

Are you okay, @Rez_MbChB? If you're having doubts it's probably a signal not to rush things, right? (((Hugs)))

If Im honest getting worse, losing ability to be a good doctor. My guilt over what I did is getting to me and I'm contemplating hanging as a punishment, full sus b.c d9nt really deserve great peace. My affect is up and down, so I guess we will see how tonight goes an dill try post in the morning if I'm ok.

 

[jake3d]

If Im honest getting worse, losing ability to be a good doctor.

Write yourself a deadly prescription and keep it for the worst of times. Stay with us until.

 

[cornflowerblue]

If Im honest getting worse, losing ability to be a good doctor. My guilt over what I did is getting to me and I'm contemplating hanging as a punishment, full sus b.c d9nt really deserve great peace. My affect is up and down, so I guess we will see how tonight goes an dill try post in the morning if I'm ok.

You don't have to answer, but what did you do?

 

[Rez_MbChB]

You don't have to answer, but what did you do?

Took GF for granted, basically started having adrinking problem where I would get black out drunk and hit on/flirt with other girls, say I was single and other disgusting shit like that. Never like did anything but hurt her so much that she went from wantig to grow old with me to hating me. Not a very good person/

 

[jake3d]

I can relate to that a bit. We're human and we make mistakes, remember? You should try and treat your alcoholism (is weed legal in your area?), or since you're a doc prescribe yourself some gabapentin. It got me over a particularly bad drinking binge a few years ago.

 

[Letmego. Please]

Took GF for granted, basically started having adrinking problem where I would get black out drunk and hit on/flirt with other girls, say I was single and other disgusting shit like that. Never like did anything but hurt her so much that she went from wantig to grow old with me to hating me. Not a very good person/

Hey we all make mistakes when drinking gets out of control, the only good thing i could find out of all my black out days & nights was at least i didn't know what i'd done. So please don't be so hard on yourself (((Hugs)))

 

[Rez_MbChB]

I can relate to that a bit. We're human and we make mistakes, remember? You should try and treat your alcoholism (is weed legal in your area?), or since you're a doc prescribe yourself some gabapentin. It got me over a particularly bad drinking binge a few years ago.

yeah been sober since she left me, im okay on that front tho its just so much guilt and loss I feel which is fucking with my head ya know/

 

[jake3d]

I think you'll get over it. Most importantly, you're sober now and that's what counts.