Sometimes i get paranoid while hearing my own heartbeat because i might overthink it and give myself a heart attack and get some kind of brain damage. Obviously this is stupid but im so psychosomatic, so many things in this fucky body have gone wrong seemingly just from thoughts and feelings. Whenever ive gotten really depressed my immune system just crashes and i get all kinds of infections. Im so anxious, i grind my teeth so hard at night my jaw has completely shifted and teeth are all fucked and it fucks with the rest of my body/brain. I cant think clearly , i cant function properly. I look a decade or two older than i am. Ive thought so long about death, this body is killing me , my teeth are killing me. I absolutely think you can think yourself to death. Its just very very slow.
