Will I ever get the courage?

[CursedForDisaster]

My goal was to leave between August 14th and October 1st but I just don't know if I'll be able to... it's all I want but it seems like the things I want most in life are also the hardest to grasp. I don't know how I can keep surviving here, I dream of my death every day but I just don't know how to get there. I wish I had someone who could help in any way but I have blocked out the world, intentionally and unintentionally at the same time, I'm always in a war of contradiction with myself, a war that must end

 

[Taki]

My goal was to leave between August 14th and October 1st but I just don't know if I'll be able to... it's all I want but it seems like the things I want most in life are also the hardest to grasp. I don't know how I can keep surviving here, I dream of my death every day but I just don't know how to get there. I wish I had someone who could help in any way but I have blocked out the world, intentionally and unintentionally at the same time, I'm always in a war of contradiction with myself, a war that must end

I hope things work and you can find a way to live.