End_Game

End_Game

Alone, Burden, Unwanted
Dec 13, 2019
38
Will anyone really care after we leave? After we off ourselves? Know is gonna care after I go. I'm gonna go after my mom and cat passes. But really, no one will notice or give a fuck. I'm gonna die unloved lol. I can't wait, because dying unloved is better then living unloved. Death loves us, it holds us forever. Never letting go. I will never be loved in this life. To chase love, is to chase the moon. You will always see it, but never catch it.
 
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freedommatrix

Member
Dec 19, 2019
59
If you mean "care" by grieve then yes, but if you mean actually care when you're alive then no. People act devastated aftewards saying "if only he had told me this...etc." but wouldn't have done anything for the person or payed attention to them while alive
 
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TheDevilsAngel

TheDevilsAngel

LetMeFree
Apr 22, 2019
768
If you mean "care" by grieve then yes, but if you mean actually care when you're alive then no. People act devastated aftewards saying "if only he had told me this...etc." but wouldn't have done anything for the person or payed attention to them while alive
That is so true...
To chase love, is to chase the moon. You will always see it, but never catch it.
I'm trying not to give up on love but that makes sense it's a endless chase... I'm sick of hoping and waiting.....
 
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Soul

Soul

gate gate paragate parasamgate bodhi svaha
Apr 12, 2019
4,704
@End_Game, if I postpone my death until after the people and cats who care about me die, then no one will care about my death either. A few might say/feel "oh! well, godspeed" or something, but no more than that.

I feel that's a good position. I know a lot of people here feel obliged to continue suffering because many people care about them, rely on them, etc. That must be very hard.
 
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R_N

R_N

-Memento Mori-
Dec 3, 2019
1,442
My mother will suffer most but I can't live like this anymore. I have to stop my own suffering.
 
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K

KiraLittleOwl

Lost in transition
Jan 25, 2019
1,083
Yes sometimes people really care. Not always they are able to help. And often they don't have the means.
I know that my father really cares about me, he writes me every day but we live in different countries and there's nothing he can do to improve my situation
 
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zherhk

zherhk

Student
Nov 25, 2019
126
Would love from others change your situation and solve your issues?
 
TowerUpright

TowerUpright

Disillusioned
May 26, 2019
602
I think I would be surprised to see who "cares" after I CTB. But, they won't be anywhere around now. Some people, relatives mostly, would care sincerely.

I personally don't want to fuck up any more lives than I have to, when I CTB. I can't help but mess with my family, but old friends and colleagues?? I would not ask them for help at all. They'd just feel more guilty.
 
DiiDii

DiiDii

Member
Dec 18, 2019
15
Will anyone really care after we leave? After we off ourselves? Know is gonna care after I go. I'm gonna go after my mom and cat passes. But really, no one will notice or give a fuck. I'm gonna die unloved lol. I can't wait, because dying unloved is better then living unloved. Death loves us, it holds us forever. Never letting go. I will never be loved in this life. To chase love, is to chase the moon. You will always see it, but never catch it.

I think everyone 'cares' when it's too late. But there are some who have and will always care like your close family (at least in my case). So don't feel like you'll die unloved, especially when you've got so many friends on here :)
 
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LivingToLong

Experienced
Feb 23, 2019
259
A few will grieve, some will care, most won't give a damn because they don't know you . That's just the way it is and it's kinda stating the obvious.

We are most important to ourselves, we are the centre of our own worlds (except for maybe parents with their children) That others won't care is not reason in itself to CBT or nor CBT. Tbh, I don't care if people miss me or not, I'll not cbt-ing for them or their sympathy.
 
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End_Game

End_Game

Alone, Burden, Unwanted
Dec 13, 2019
38
Would love from others change your situation and solve your issues?
Yes, if I felt love. Yes. I just need to feel it. I felt it before from fake friends. It's like getting the Mario star and puts you in God Mode. Then when you find out they are fake, you are reminded that love is an illusion. Something you feel for a few weeks every 3 years or so.
 
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zherhk

zherhk

Student
Nov 25, 2019
126
Yes, if I felt love. Yes. I just need to feel it. I felt it before from fake friends. It's like getting the Mario star and puts you in God Mode. Then when you find out they are fake, you are reminded that love is an illusion. Something you feel for a few weeks every 3 years or so.
It's something you can change and that means a lot.
You can't force or control others to love you the way you want, but you can change how you actually react.
I would work to understand why and to correct the fact that my happiness could depends on others.
Other people love it's important absolutely, but could be the icing on the cake.
If there isn't a base of true self love, like in every other subject, you're not centered.
Putting your 'well being' in other peoples hands could be so random and give you too much high and lows, they're not reliable and be unaware about your needs, and that's fine, I think it's not their duty, since it's better if we reach that by ourselves.
Doesn't mean it's easy and I don't wanna be disrespectful on something you find important.
 
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OneBigBlur

OneBigBlur

Experienced
Nov 30, 2019
231
Nope, if people didn't care when you were alive then they won't when you're dead. It's funny in a messed up kind of way but a lot of people lie to themselves and claim that they cared but most never even made the slightest effort. More convenient to tell themselves lies than to actually feel any remorse or guilt.
 
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Farmmaa

Farmmaa

Specialist
Dec 4, 2019
343
I feel that's a good position. I know a lot of people here feel obliged to continue suffering because many people care about them, rely on them, etc. That must be very hard.

It is it's own kind of hell.
 
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Ky204

Ky204

Member
Sep 3, 2019
97
They will mourn you but as time goes on your existence along with the rest of ours will be forgotten like the rest.
 
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M

mediocre

trapped here
Nov 9, 2019
1,442
Your closest family members will grieve but eventually move on with their lives. The world won't take notice and move on as normal. You'll just become another statistic.
 
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Passingmeby

New Member
Dec 22, 2019
2
Nope. None of my few, allegedly closest friends, actually did anything to change my mind (not that they would be able to) apart from guilt tripping me ("I will be devastated if you go, don't do it" etc.). The root of my depression and suicadal thoughts is situational and escalated quickly and very badly. They're aware of the whole situation (which could have been fixed but not solo) although they cut me off whenever I talk about it, usually with some feel good bs. I am sick to my stomach, thinking that they will, after I go, actually have the audacity to say they miss me etc.

Now, it's not that I blame them for my mistakes or how I feel. But I started to feel very resentful towards them in the recent days (I'm 3 days away from the DDay).

On the other hand, if I were in their shoes, I'm not surenif I'd know how to properly react either. I'm not much of an empath and don't dwelve into mine, or others emotional states, I'm rather quite pragmatic, and pragmatic and practical was what I needed and what I'd probably offer.

Today I literally started the blame game to make some of them feel shit, bit I guess that may be the sociopath in me(that I wasn't aware of!). I also started to feel an odd satisfaction in telling them in details how I am gonna proceed.
 
TearyEyedQueen

TearyEyedQueen

In the wrong timeline
Nov 14, 2019
366
My family members certainly will, I'm not sure about others. I suspect some ex classmates might feel happy when they hear I ctb because they hated me but I don't think it will come as a shock to anyone who knew me in high school.
 
1DayItWillBover

1DayItWillBover

Student
Dec 21, 2019
148
Outside of my family.. maybe a few people but eventually they will forget.

Life goes on
 
Return2Dust

Return2Dust

Experienced
Sep 28, 2019
246
The people who only call when they need something will care...when they need something. The family members I barely talk to will pretend to care while others are watching. Family deaths are a good source of narcissistic supply.
My SO will use my passing for narcissistic supply. My daughters will be crushed. I managed to hold on until they were adults. That was my goal.
 
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A

Anathema

Member
Dec 2, 2019
62
When you die, no amount of caring will bring you back. I like how you think.
I would also prefer to commit suicide after my parents die. Save them the trouble.
 
JustVisiting

JustVisiting

Brain Tumour Killing Me
Dec 18, 2019
242
The people who only call when they need something will care...when they need something. The family members I barely talk to will pretend to care while others are watching. Family deaths are a good source of narcissistic supply.
My SO will use my passing for narcissistic supply. My daughters will be crushed. I managed to hold on until they were adults. That was my goal.
Oh gosh, I get this. Are your daughters now 18 or do you mean adult as, in their 20's?
 

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