Venting Will anyone I know care enough to check if I am okay after I ctb?

[Abyssal]

This can apply to real life too, but what got me thinking is how I've had all these people I've befriended online. I've spoken to some of these people for years, met some in real life as well, but due to one thing or another (probably my depression) they've disappeared from my life. I get the occasional text of "was thinking about you, how are you?" And whatnot, but even that's maybe only on major holidays. If I didn't respond they would probably forget they ever wished me a merry Christmas in the first place.

These are good people who I've devoted much of my time to and care for still, but when I'm gone they won't get to know. It'll be like I never existed to them. I don't want anyone to grieve me if they even would, but I'm not sure I want to be forgotten either. In spite of how I wish the ctb to end the pain, I also want it to be known that I committed suicide for whatever reason. I don't want people messaging me a happy birthday when I don't exist anymore. I don't know why I care but I do.

To send a delayed message or let them live in blissful ignorance..I think I'll go with the second option.

 

[Anri_wants_peace]

i think if i were you i would choose the first option there but...
I would like to share that as a young adult now that had a very big part of teenage years in front of a screen...i still remember a lot of internet friends and one in particular even came to mind when i was in a hospital bed after a failed attempt ;/

 

[Little_Suzy]

On several occasions, I received messages informing me of a suicide.

It is my understanding that they included a "notification list" with their belongings, requesting that their loved ones contact us.

 

[Labyrinth]

"If I didn't respond they would probably forget they ever wished me a merry Christmas in the first place."

You condensed everything into that sentence.

Even if you express your deep intentions, we can only know remote fragments of your mind. The person himself is completely hidden. Perhaps it is this charm that keeps us captivated.

There is no one here. The act of reading is talking to yourself. We are fictitious presences embodied by the imagination.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Who knows how they'll feel over the course of their lifetimes? What if they regret falling out of touch and want to reconnect at some point?

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

A super-delayed message, like a year later would be the ultimate haunting.

 

[Abyssal]

A super-delayed message, like a year later would be the ultimate haunting.

I wonder if that'd make a difference

"Hey, nice to probably hear from you over these last 5 years, unfortunately I died 5 years ago and haven't been able to respond to them. Didnt tell you because I didn't want you to be sad, but i still want you to miss my glorious presence so I sent this delayed message to send 5 years from now"

I'd probably get hit with a let's play 8ball request tbh

 

[Forever Sleep]

I expect they may think of you at some point and they may wonder what has happened and try to find out. I kept in loose contact with a lovely lady that taught me- it would be over 20 years ago now. Anyhow, occasionally, we would message over Whatsapp. I knew she had been struggling with serious health problems for a while but, back in July, she stopped responding. She didn't tend to use the phone. I started getting worried and didn't really know what to do. I had her address for Christmas cards, so I decided I would look on Zoopla to see if the house had been sold. It hadn't. But- Googling her name, I found notice of a funeral. Her name was quite unusual and it seems too much of a coincidence that it would be where she lived, so, I can only assume she passed. I do feel sad about it. I feel sad that I don't know for sure too. But yes- I think we do sometimes recall people we knew years ago and wonder how they're getting on.

I know what you mean though. I live and work alone. Asides from speaking to my Dad a couple of times a week and one friend who texts fairly regularly, I do sometimes wonder whether anyone would even notice! But then I think- they really shouldn't feel that upset that I CTB if they didn't even notice! I guess it's the idea of it though.

 

[AngelTears]

This can apply to real life too, but what got me thinking is how I've had all these people I've befriended online. I've spoken to some of these people for years, met some in real life as well, but due to one thing or another (probably my depression) they've disappeared from my life. I get the occasional text of "was thinking about you, how are you?" And whatnot, but even that's maybe only on major holidays. If I didn't respond they would probably forget they ever wished me a merry Christmas in the first place.

These are good people who I've devoted much of my time to and care for still, but when I'm gone they won't get to know. It'll be like I never existed to them. I don't want anyone to grieve me if they even would, but I'm not sure I want to be forgotten either. In spite of how I wish the ctb to end the pain, I also want it to be known that I committed suicide for whatever reason. I don't want people messaging me a happy birthday when I don't exist anymore. I don't know why I care but I do.

To send a delayed message or let them live in blissful ignorance..I think I'll go with the second option.

This is my biggest worry... I remember times were I've stayed inside my room for days at a time and NOBODY checks on me... like, sometimes they knock, but if I don't answer, they don't care to even crack the door a little bit to see if I'm ok. I guess if I ctb with door closed, the smell will be the only thing that'll let them know....

 

[LaVieEnRose]

I wonder if that'd make a difference

"Hey, nice to probably hear from you over these last 5 years, unfortunately I died 5 years ago and haven't been able to respond to them. Didnt tell you because I didn't want you to be sad, but i still want you to miss my glorious presence so I sent this delayed message to send 5 years from now"

I'd probably get hit with a let's play 8ball request tbh

It's about minimizing harm. Avoiding it entirely isn't possible.

 

[Mayonaise]

I don't know if this qualifies as an answer, but I was amazed by the support I received from a few people when they became aware of my struggles.
They are by no means close friends, yet they've been there for me and still are.
If I were to take my own life I would probably let them know, not because I want them to grieve, but because I want to thank them and let them know it was not their fault.
They'll probably grieve but they'll eventually move on. That's how it's supposed to go

 

[Maeve]

I would