Why?

[kekcal24]

Why is reality so shit? Besides all the other crap I've spent far too long thinking about, I can't even have an exit. Suicide seen as completely irrational, peaceful suicide methods restricted, and the kicker is that my own instinct is keeping me from doing it, despite all the other restrictions. I just want to leave, to go, but cursed with a survival instinct because a species that kills themselves en masse isn't successful at reproducing. Not that most would kill themselves, all of them so deep in ignorance and cognitive dissonance... Evolution's a bitch. I'm actually starting to believe I'm already in hell. Fuck.