Discussion Why would you tell someone you are suicidal?

[IWantAPerfectSoul]

I'd believe most of us here would explicitly not tell someone you are suicidal. My main thought is why would you want to tell someone if they could/would intervene?

I mean every time you look at a hotline, or are speaking to a psychiatrist, they ask you to tell them of any suicidal ideation. Why do they expect you to tell people? Why would you want someone to stop you?

 

[Namelesa]

Most people tell others they are suicidal cus it can be hard to keep intense pain to oneself and want to be listened to and understood. They want to be able to share what they are feeling so they get support whether that's to recover from the pain causing the suicidal thoughts or get advice with a method.

In terms of telling someone they are going to attempt suicide then:

Some part of them still wants to live and have regrets about dying early so they may tell others as they want others to stop them. Some people can regret attempting suicide and change their mind on wanting to live in the middle of an attempt.

or

They just want others to know they may be gone soon and want to talk or spend time with that person one last time. They are sure about dying and want to say goodbye to others before they die.

 

[SVEN]

Cry for help ? Hope for acknowledgement of their misery ?

 

[bananaolympus]

I Think because you want to get help and share your burden, mostly people who are new/starting to have suicidal ideation, i shared my thoughts of suicide to my family and psychiatrist when i first started to get suicidal thoughs 10 years ago

 

[pariah80]

I haven't, other than here. That's because I don't know anyone here.

 

[mattoman]

I once did a test with my psychiatrist and at one question he asked if I was suicidal. I went quiet. Then he asked if I was "tired of living" which I said yes to. And I guess that's the truth. I don't want to die but I'm tired of living as it is.

Imo fuck those hotlines. At one point I was really down and tried to call them and for 30 minutes they just asked me to "please stay on hold". It felt so ridiculous that I forgot my suicidal thoughts and just went to bed.

 

[Sutter]

Sound.

Just happens, maybe life response. Children cry, people scream in pain, scream on the edge, wail a sorrow in song, like expression is a part of humanity and more than. Some say plants scream. Agree with @Namelesa for all those as well.

When Im ready I dont have to tell, for my loved ones the footprints laid in passing weren't new, was an old trail with alot of pain and a few regrets that lies behind me. We are here though, here on this site and we are telling, we told when we joined, when we shared, told others that might see us.

Could be your question is after the seeing, when it really is done or as close as it is going to get, why then the last ditch effort? My guess? Something still not settled, not stared down in their own soul a last vestige of breath to squeeze from their lungs, so they are ready.

Perfect soul music changes on the person, like all the sounds heard from a birth to a death.

 

[IWantAPerfectSoul]

We are here though, here on this site and we are telling, we told when we joined, when we shared, told others that might see us.

In my mind we are on this site because we know we mostly have anonymity and support, no one will directly tell you to kill yourself the same way they won't tell you not to kill yourself. What I am particularly referencing is the idea telling someone you do know, family, friends, medical professionals, etc.

Could be your question is after the seeing, when it really is done or as close as it is going to get, why then the last ditch effort? My guess? Something still not settled, not stared down in their own soul a last vestige of breath to squeeze from their lungs, so they are ready.

I agree with you, if you do speak to someone, it is most probably the fact there is still something there. Either a cry of help or an expression of what is going on. But I truly believe you are fully set, you would not tell anyone knowing the risk they might try to stop you.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

Probably because some suicidal people are ambivalent with their life or have fell for the lies that the pro lifers have told them about them being on their side. The ones who don't want to live wouldn't tell anybody about their suicidality aside from the people on here since the people on here wouldn't do anything to force you to not attempt. I have never told anybody irl about my suicidality and I don't ever plan to do so

 

[ShatteredSerenity]

I told my therapist I was suicidal a couple of years ago because I had kids and a good life so I didn't really want to go through with it. She just said that's normal and told me I should get more exercise.

This year I told my psychiatrist I'm having suicidal thoughts because that's literally all I think about so it's pretty hard to hide. Also I'm bipolar so it's pretty much a given that I'm suicidal anyways. I just have to walk the fine line between passive ideation and active planning to avoid getting locked up.

 

[Sutter]

In my mind we are on this site because we know we mostly have anonymity and support, no one will directly tell you to kill yourself the same way they won't tell you not to kill yourself. What I am particularly referencing is the idea telling someone you do know, family, friends, medical professionals, etc.



I agree with you, if you do speak to someone, it is most probably the fact there is still something there. Either a cry of help or an expression of what is going on. But I truly believe you are fully set, you would not tell anyone knowing the risk they might try to stop you.

Not of that cloth my self, rather not flip a switch on the way out dealing with saviors, when that time is past.

A lot seem to try more than once. Maybe a dieing process for them to tell. All a guess though.

 

[eike2838]

When I meet someone I have sometimes told them that I had an attempt and that I am still depressed but nothing more. Every time I regret saying it because you leave someone something about you that you don't know what they will do. Although every person I have told I no longer speaks to them, so it will be of little use
I guess I do it as a form of compression? Help me even though I don't want help at all? It's something I really don't know.

 

[NoPoint2Life]

I agree with all of the reasons here.

But for me personally sometimes I just have this overwhelming desire to want to grab somebody by the shoulders and scream Hey I'm on a suicide forum!

After my first attempt - which was even more stupid than the second one where by then I knew about si - I felt so lost and alone that six weeks later I finally contacted the therapist. I have previously been seeing for my OCD exposure therapy and after two sessions with him, I confessed. I was just an emotional mess at the time.

My parents told all our family/friends and neighbors that I tried to ctb.
So since everyone knows only my cousin has asked me outright. It was in a text so I replied well I don't think there's any point to life, but I'm not suicidal. Would never tell the whole truth now to anyone, but still this desperate part of me wants to say something.

 

[LostLily]

I never directly told someone but accidently implied it. When I told a friend that going to start seeing a new
counselor, the friend was very encouraging

But I blurted out" I'm afraid she will fail and I will have another person blaming themselves for my actions". She then begged me to not doing anything rash. This was 10 years ago so I don't know if she still suspect I'm still suicidal

 

[thinkingofdeath]

A variety of reasons.

I want to be honest about where I'm at; and who knows, people can be pretty wise, and a good friend might be able to offer words of wisdom or even tangible favours so that I don't feel so sad. I'm open to it. It's easier to be casual about it with someone I really trust; I know some folks are very triggered by discussions of suicide, so I have to carefully pick who I tell.

Part of it's because I just want human connection in that moment; there's something very powerful about being seen and witnessed in those very vulnerable moments. Just because I want to die right now, doesn't mean that I want to hold that pain alone.

Sometimes I do it for manipulative reasons, as a self-destructive thing. If I can scare away my loved ones by spamming them with "I want to die" or something, and force them to put up healthy boundaries by distancing themselves, maybe it'll make me unstable enough that I'll finally be able to overcome my survival instinct in a moment of impulsive grief. Or so the logic goes.

 

[alienfreak]

I said i had ideation to a doctor (among other things) just to try to be taken seriously and get benzos and it worked. Anything less seems to get "take SSRIs and go for a walk, loser" type response

 

[vitbar]

I have a few times and for various reasons

• I get asked and struggle to lie
• In the hopes the weight of the ideation will be eased
• Because I'm beyond caring what happens
• As part of treatment
• To motivate officials/managers to do what I want/need
• To talk about methods and logistics with likeminded friends

I cycle between depressive episodes and periods where I feel okay or even good. This makes treatment appealing as I'm clearly capable of enjoying life.

 

[death_by_life]

For me personally, it's because I have animals I'll be leaving behind, and I need to know they'll be taken care of. They're the only reason I'm still here. I burdened a lovely friend with saying I wanted to ctb, and asked if they'd take care of/find new homes for my cats. I got very lucky, and they were very non-judgmental and said they would, and they would understand if I did ctb, though they hoped I'd stick around and take care of my own cats.

In a fit of rage, I also told my ex I half-tried to end my life a few times, because of them. I wish I hadn't as I think it was more of an ego trip for them than anything, but since I don't talk to them anymore maybe it was my parting gift.

My brothers know because they've already been where I am (one has tried), and I feel like I don't want it to be a total surprise.

Medical staff know I've thought about it, but I wasn't totally honest about how close I am, and about having a plan and a method. I'm open to getting help, at least enough so I can say I tried everything, but don't want to be too truthful and end up in the psych ward, because that would be so much worse.

Otherwise, if/when it actually comes time, I will not give anyone I know advanced notice, though I might say something here. At that point I won't want to be interrupted.

 

[Life'sA6itch]

Looking back, out of sheer lack of information and stupidity for me. I honestly thought there was help but there is no help for my problems and talking to others makes it seem as if they are only there for their pay. So, I suffer quietly like millions of others

 

[princessame]

I have spoken about how I've wanted to die many many times to different people, the first person was my teacher when I was in 4th grade. The response I got? My parents shaming me and telling me to not say things like that, otherwise people will think I'm being abused (??????? projection at its finest)
When I was younger, I felt alone and scared and my brain automatically just said I wanted to die, because I thought it was the only escape. What else could I do? Run away? I didn't have many choices. As I got older, I was just basically taught to keep my problems to myself. Even if my parents insisted that they'd be there for me and would say "you can always tell us if you're feeling this way", it'd just end up with them shaming me time and time again. Saying I get everything handed to me on a sliver platter, that I should be grateful for my life, etc etc...
That just made me feel even worse. And those kinds of thoughts still haunt me to this very day. I've moved out from such an environment, I'm given a free life with no restrictions, and I'm about to get a job, yet I still feel like I'm doing something wrong. Even writing this right now brings me to tears.
When I was younger, I just wanted someone to help me, to save me. But now, I feel like no matter what I do, my feelings will always be invalid, and that saying such things will only bring shame and anger to others.

 

[NotSalmon]

I'd believe most of us here would explicitly not tell someone you are suicidal. My main thought is why would you want to tell someone if they could/would intervene?

I mean every time you look at a hotline, or are speaking to a psychiatrist, they ask you to tell them of any suicidal ideation. Why do they expect you to tell people? Why would you want someone to stop you?

I would maybe tell somebody close to me I really trusted and in a similar mental state to ease the impact, but that is about it. You really can't trust anyone with telling them your intentions. I even feel paranoid doing so on these forums.

 

[IWantAPerfectSoul]

I would maybe tell somebody close to me I really trusted and in a similar mental state to ease the impact, but that is about it. You really can't trust anyone with telling them your intentions. I even feel paranoid doing so on these forums.

I don't know how would you even come around to find someone with similar intentions to you. Here? Maybe possible, but in my personal life I would also be paranoid even hinting to someone my intentions.

 

[divinemistress36]

I did at first cause I was in so much pain and wanted to get better and was fed all the pro life bs. Take this pill you will feel better and shock your brain with ect. Reaching out for help made me worse

 

[AshClouds]

No, it wouldn't do anything but make things worse for myself. I keep everything to myself because of the extreme stigma of mental illness.

 

[nomoredolor]

So my friends and family now know im suicidal because of my failed attempt earlier this month and subsequent 9 day stay at the psych ward.

The only reason I'm being honest with them about my long history (19 years) of wanting to die is because I'm trying to prepare them for when I Ctb in the first half of 2025. Im obv not going to tell them about these plans but I want them to know in general that I am a risk to have as a friend, esp if that person has lost someone to suicide before. Kind of like (somewhat) informed consent. My attempt triggered a lot of ppl.

Anna