Venting Why won’t anyone listen to me?

[SpiderLink]

My doctor thinks therapy won't be beneficial for me. As a result would cause more hopelessness, meanwhile, that doesn't help anything. I keep getting told these cliches. It's so frustrating and no one here's me out. They still tell me it's going to get better, and that there's hope. I'm fighting myself but battling others to understand, it's so fucking tiring. It gets me no where when I express how I feel, or when I share my poetry. To try and get someone to just UNDERSTAND. No one ever does. I'm being told I have to make the change and I know this, but what if I can't change it? It's been set in stone and there's nothing I can do. I desperately want to feel better and heal, but every time I want something or need something, I never get it. It's so upsetting to live through this alone and not have anyone to sit there and listen and be there for me. I'm so tired of hurting, it's all I know. I don't refuse to get better, I truly do want to heal. I keep telling people these things and I just want to die more because of it, I keep on trying because that's all I can do, but I just get hurt. I just want to have someone to talk to and my doctor wanted me to stop talking to a friend for a couple months and she was literally the only one where I felt somewhat safe and understood in a way. I don't understand what it is with these "little changes" little isn't enough for me! It'll just go back down, I know how I work. I feel I'm forcing myself to just hold on and I feel like I'm suffocating trying to hold on when I do desperately want to let go, I just wish if I could talk to my future self and my future self says "it'll get better" I'll believe it because it's coming from me! I just didn't think this would get any worse, it feels like everyone is letting me go. The more I keep breaking in front of people, the more I'd be better off dead. I'm just so lost and I wish I had the answers, I'm so far beyond repair at this point… today, my favourite banded released a song called broken like me.



I just wish suicide didn't have to be the only option.

 

[FuneralCry]

That does sound really tiring what you have to go through, I just think that it's pointless trying to get other people to understand, as the reality is that we are all alone as humans, trapped within our own thoughts. Existing here in this world truly is so hopeless and there is certainly no real relief from suffering as long as one exists here, but anyway I wish you the best.

 

[SpiderLink]

That does sound really tiring what you have to go through, I just think that it's pointless trying to get other people to understand, as the reality is that we are all alone as humans, trapped within our own thoughts. Existing here in this world truly is so hopeless and there is certainly no real relief from suffering as long as one exists here, but anyway I wish you the best.

Thank you, I appreciate it

 

[insaneinthemembrane]

Hey i just wanna say i understand
when you describe how you feel like I completely get it
being beyond that point of no repair isn't something to heal with the flowery advice ppl give us i wish ppl would just be honest and look at me and rlly say yea you're just better off dead bc we all know that's the case
it just is 10 times more frustrating bc it almost convinces you you're not valid and you're being rash but idk you phrased it perfectly unless it's coming from future me i don't wanna hear it
(ps sorry for the messy writing im struggling a bit w anxiety atm)

 

[Body bobi]

They don't care... They just wait to talk when it's their turn

 

[SpiderLink]

Hey i just wanna say i understand
when you describe how you feel like I completely get it
being beyond that point of no repair isn't something to heal with the flowery advice ppl give us i wish ppl would just be honest and look at me and rlly say yea you're just better off dead bc we all know that's the case
it just is 10 times more frustrating bc it almost convinces you you're not valid and you're being rash but idk you phrased it perfectly unless it's coming from future me i don't wanna hear it
(ps sorry for the messy writing im struggling a bit w anxiety atm)

Yeah I agree and no I understood u perfectly

They don't care... They just wait to talk when it's their turn

Yeah fair