qualityOV3Rquantity

qualityOV3Rquantity

Student
Jul 27, 2024
149
I can't make it through this, I can't handle it, I can't endure it. I can't live and work and exist with a chronic illness and with severe depression. But everyone around me insists that I can: my doctor, my family, my counselor, my friends. But they don't have to wake up in my body, they don't have to exist in my head. Why is it that it's important to appreciate people's lived experiences, yet everyone is allowed to discount my beliefs and my understanding? I know myself better than other people know me, I understand my limitations better than some fucking stranger that gets paid to talk to me. And I cannot fucking do it.

I swear, they will only understand this after I'm dead.
 
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Iris Blue

Iris Blue

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-
Oct 23, 2023
226
I am going through the exact type of mindset you have right now and it's so exhausting. No other words I can really think to describe it as except not being fair. Everyone else saying the same old stuff like "you have a reason to be here" and "things get better" ok what if I've already tried the things you suggest? How many more do I have to do before it can be enough? I fear most about hurting my family and friends but I know they don't understand how much it is hurting me. It just has come to a point I feel like it doesn't matter anymore the pain is too much to take just for other people who are doing so much better in their lives and it wouldn't make much of a difference if I were gone. I'm sorry you are feeling like this it definitely sucks.
 
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reyonrays

reyonrays

Death brings peace, the ultimate release.
Oct 27, 2024
49
I feel your pain. I have exactly the same thought.
Been going to a psychologist, but other than listening to me, it really is just not helping. Everything she says is just so meaningless, and are things i have heard before.
Sometimes i have moments of inner outburst, and ask myself the question what i am even doing living this life of pain and suffering, UGH!!

You are not alone in this, and i share your pain and frustration. Wishing you all the best!
 
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flippingtick

Member
Aug 21, 2024
24
I get it. Same exact boat. I have some friends who have been trying to help me, and I don't have alot of brainpower, but I took literally a couple of months to write out a message and explain it to them. Not only did they not get it, they threw it back and me and basically, "yes you can do it." I'm not sure how they thought that would help. If I'd had a way to quickly ctb I would have done it right then and there. Nothing has made me feel more alone then that.
 
simplyshmee

simplyshmee

Member
Oct 25, 2024
15
"But everyone around me insists that I can: my doctor, my family, my counselor, my friends"

You should count your blessings. You have a support system, and people that love you and are willing to help you.
While ultimately it is your life and mindset. You do have that
 
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Kalista

Failed hard to pull the trigger - Now using SN
Feb 5, 2023
358
"But everyone around me insists that I can: my doctor, my family, my counselor, my friends"

You should count your blessings. You have a support system, and people that love you and are willing to help you.
While ultimately it is your life and mindset. You do have that

'counting your blessings' is another way of saying 'hang on in there. i know you're suffering greatly and you want to stop the pain but continue to live because at least you have people who think they know better.'

this is not something to be grateful about. it dismisses the fucking pain the person is experiencing. the person's struggles are not acknowledged, but is pushed to be overlooked instead -- not only by the 'professionals' and friends, but also from family members.
this, is not a support system. it's a slap on the face and shows how very little they understand the pain being felt.

people need to stop spewing this kind of empty phrase nonsense.
 
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ijustwishtodie

ijustwishtodie

death will be my ultimate bliss
Oct 29, 2023
4,684
I don't have any chronic illnesses but I relate to you as I have autism which impacts me a lot yet my mum isn't able to understand that. She thinks that I'm exactly like a normal person and can do normal things but I can't. I struggle a lot with basic tasks as well as complying with the demands that life (and society) has placed upon me. I feel like I will soon have to go homeless because I know my limitations and I know that I just simply can't deal with the things in life that most people seem to be able to deal with quite easily. Even simple things like washing the dishes is exhausting for me. It must be far worse for those with a chronic condition.

I may be wrong but I feel like the reason why these people are unable to accept that we aren't able to deal with the things in life that they can is, firstly, it takes one to know one and they don't know what we are like as they never had a chronic condition or something that impacts their living. Secondly, there's an element of coping in there as admitting that some people just aren't able to deal with life no matter what would shatter their view of life as they've been taught that life can be achieved by hard work and that anybody who isn't able to deal with life isn't working hard enough. To accept such a thing is uncomfortable.

I'm sorry for the suffering that you're going through and I hope that you find peace soon
 
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simplyshmee

simplyshmee

Member
Oct 25, 2024
15
'counting your blessings' is another way of saying 'hang on in there. i know you're suffering greatly and you want to stop the pain but continue to live because at least you have people who think they know better.'

this is not something to be grateful about. it dismisses the fucking pain the person is experiencing. the person's struggles are not acknowledged, but is pushed to be overlooked instead -- not only by the 'professionals' and friends, but also from family members.
this, is not a support system. it's a slap on the face and shows how very little they understand the pain being felt.

people need to stop spewing this kind of empty phrase nonsense.
If that's how you want to interpret it sure. But no, it means much more than that. There is no "dismissing" anything. Many suffer and experience the same thing completely alone. It's a matter of not knowing what something is like until experiencing it.
There is simply nothing empty about the phrase "count your blessings" We as humans become so focused on the hardships and negative, we refuse or even forget to take a look at the beauty in this world, and what it has to offer. Not for anyone either, but for ourselves. The main source of our happiness comes from within us. If you cant "stop and smell the roses" every once and awhile you are living a life that YOU yourself are making harder for yourself. I'm not here to tell anyone its all perfect, or everything will be ok in the end. Because I have expected firsthand from different situations different outcomes. but that is the literal definition of insanity.
"Doing the same thing over and over while expecting different results"
The statement is a huge manner of perspective and how you choose to interpret its meaning.
 

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