Venting Why the fuck is it that so frequently when I look in the mirror I imagine myself shooting myself

[guineapiglover8503]

I swear whenever I look in the mirror I vividly see myself shooting my skull with either a pistol or a 12 gauge and it won't leave my head. Does a huge part of me want that? heck yeah and honestly nobody should trust me with a firearm because consciously or not the first thing I would do is shoot myself. it just WONT LEAVE