Why is survival instinct so strong when we want to ctb so much?

[Meditation guide]

We mention SI, survival instinct, a lot here and it is a big reason for failures of ctb plans. Let's try to dissect it since it's our enemy.
What's with the programming to survive? How do we get around that when we want to die?
Is it fear of dying? Of the unknown? Of suffering? Or something else?

Survival instinct is valuable when you want to survive but how do we turn that off?

 

[alexit]

We mention SI, survival instinct, a lot here and it is a big reason for failures of ctb plans. Let's try to dissect it since it's our enemy.
What's with the programming to survive? How do we get around that when we want to die?
Is it fear of dying? Of the unknown? Of suffering? Or something else?

Survival instinct is valuable when you want to survive but how do we turn that off?

I think survival instinct and self destruction go hand in hand. The power to create, the power to destroy. Natural polarities. Whether we live or die we have to overcome the opposite.

 

[socrates]

I don't think survival instinct should be though of as an enemy. It is very clear that it can be overpowered as many people have done it. I think the battle with it is important. It will help you determine weather or not CTB is right for you. It's very good at impulsive methods like jumping off a building, getting hit by a bus. But more planed out methods seem to have fewer problems with it. And the more planed out methods give you more time to think and decide if you really want to go.

 

[DFFP]

Do you think that the more attempts you fail, the harder it is to start over? Especially if we have sequelae? And the SI then becomes stronger?

 

[alexit]

Do you think that the more attempts you fail, the harder it is to start over? Especially if we have sequelae? And the SI then becomes stronger?

I've tried many times, with consequences. SI is less if anything. More aversion to failing, def though.

 

[DFFP]

I've tried many times, with consequences. SI is less if anything. More aversion to failing, def though.

did you try total suspension?

 

[alexit]

did you try total suspension?

no, nothing with ropes or guns. Chemical and vehicular.

 

[falloutcarter13]

For me, any fears I have are centered around the process of dying, not actually being dead. I want to be dead, but the process of dying is hard to think about.

 

[DFFP]

no, nothing with ropes or guns. Chemical and vehicular.

Ok

 

[esse_est_percipi]

We are programmed to survive so we can pass on our genes. On a biological level, that's the whole point of our existence. To perpetuate ourselves beyond our deaths so that the species as a whole is more likely to survive.

The whole point of the survival instinct is to ensure that this happens. We need to be terrified of our deaths/terrified of any situation that could cause our deaths in order to survive long enough to procreate. The problem is that when/if we pass on our genes, the SI doesn't just switch off, it pretty much continues with the same intensity our whole lives.

I think there could be a more physical and a more mental/cerebral aspect to SI, though there is overlap. The physical one is the one that makes us afraid of (and therefore avoid) e.g. heights, spiders, snakes, and makes us avoid sources of pain on an almost pre-programmed level (e.g fire, sharp objects).
The more mental aspect is the sort of voice in the head which says e.g. "death is the unknown and you should be afraid of the unknown", "dying will cause you to suffer", "you may not succeed ctb and be worse off", "death may be worse than life if hell exists and you end up there".

I think both these aspects are subservient to the primary goal that I mentioned, passing on genes to perpetuate part of ourselves after physical death.

I would think it is almost impossible to switch it off simply by an act of will, but we can dull it maybe with certain mental techniques like repeating certain phrases to ourselves, even taking the methods of cognitive behavioral therapy and sort of subverting them to combat that mental voice which tells us how bad death is and how afraid of it we should be. Practicing mental visualization of whatever method we have chosen to ctb possibly helps, to accustom our mind to it on a more subconscious level.

I also suspect overcoming SI is unique to each individual, depends on circumstances, level of suffering/anguish etc.

These were just random thoughts and I'm maybe stating the blindingly obvious, but there may be something there to develop further

 

[DFFP]

I agree with you. I want to be dead fast. My real option is total hanging. But I am worried about the agony. My SI tells me the pain is going to be terrible and that I can be worse than before if it doesn't work out.

 

[esse_est_percipi]

I agree with you. I want to be dead fast. My real option is total hanging. But I am worried about the agony. My SI tells me the pain is going to be terrible and that I can be worse than before if it doesn't work out.

That seems to be my only realistic option. at the moment.
But I think if you pass out quickly enough, there probably isn't that much pain involved. Who knows though.

 

[Meditation guide]

But I am worried about the agony. My SI tells me the pain is going to be terrible and that I can be worse than before if it doesn't work out.

Yes this is the main problem. It's the fact that getting it done painlessly and without failing is not a sure thing.

 

[Wayfaerer]

Your cerebral cortex may want to die, but your medulla oblongata wants you to live and doesn't give a damn.

 

[Meditation guide]

your medulla oblongata

My medulla oblongata so far is running the show. The idea of hanging myself, shooting myself, or taking poison does not compute.

I've been in raw survival mode my entire life. I never thought my over developed SI would be my downfall.

 

[Living_Hurts_so_Much]

I wish I knew.....