Why is sense of humour the first mentioned quality for most people that die by suicide?

[rozeske]

When someone dies by suicide usually the first thing their loved ones mention is how funny they were, how they were always laughing with a great sense of humor. Is it a shared quality between most suicidals or just a clichéd thing people say after someone's death. Funny is what people point out about me among other superficial things, not sure if I'm really fun or just hiding my pain. I know that will come up once I'm dead. Is it a commonly used coping mechanism or are funny people coincidentally laughing to their death?

 

[Namelesa]

I know about a reason some people who are comedians or make others laugh is cus they don't want others to suffer like them so they make others laugh. Its also a coping mechanism to make others happy when you don't know how to help yourself. Making fun of your own pain to make it less painful is also another way of coping.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

I mean, is this even really the case though? Or are you just noticing patterns that don't actually exist?

 

[rozeske]

I mean, is this even really the case though? Or are you just noticing patterns that don't actually exist?

Wdym?

 

[Alo the obvi alien]

I mean, is this even really the case though? Or are you just noticing patterns that don't actually exist?

I think everyone that passes will be spoken about positivity but loved ones. Idt its a suicide thing or not.

But comedy is a coping skill for a lot of people.

 

[Halfhourdays]

Sometimes it's true.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Wdym?

You are making a claim about a specific supposed pattern that you notice but the thing is, who is today that this pattern even exists? Just because you feel like you have noticed something, such as humour being the first quality that people mention after someone ctbs, doesn't make that actually the case.

I think everyone that passes will be spoken about positivity but loved ones. Idt its a suicide thing or not.

But comedy is a coping skill for a lot of people.

Okay, but that doesn't really mean anything in regard to the point that I am making.

 

[Alo the obvi alien]

Okay, but that doesn't really mean anything in regard to the point that I am making.

I mean it kinda does. Have you ever gone or seen a funeral where people just straight trashed them???

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'm guessing because it confuses them. As in- How could someone seem so jovial when they were secretly hurting so badly underneath?

Plus- it kind of vindicates them in a way. The whole: 'If only there was a sign they felt like this' (we could/ would have done more to help them.) If there were no signs, they can tell themselves they didn't miss any opportunities to give them more support.

Plus, I think people like to categorize people. When I had my IC SN welfare check, I was really busy with a project. The police officers seemed hugely reassured by that. As in- 'proper' suicidal people are maybe incapable of doing anything! Some are of course but, some aren't. There must be plenty of high functioning suicidal people out there.

I find it weird that- even people who work with suicidal people regularly seem to have a very narrow idea on how a suicidal person should behave. The people on the helpline I was coerced into phoning wanted to talk about these 'intrusive' thoughts I was having. These are presumably specialists. Why would they assume all people experience ideation in an intrusive way even?

Ultimately though, I suppose people would like to think they could 'spot' a suicidal person. So- when they can't, I suppose it troubles them. Seeing as it could well mean friends and family members could be feeling the same way and, they wouldn't necessarily know.