Why is it so hard to get properly better?

[fireplace19]

I've tried so fucking hard for the last 4 years of intense mental illness to stay here. I am doing everything they say to do.

I got myself a job, partner, go to the gym every day, therapy every week, medicated, sleep well, eat well and every cycle of this? fucking nothing changes.

Whenever I think I might be getting somewhere I end up in the same place. Wanting to die so bad I can't stand it.

At this point I'm at a complete loss for what can help me. My therapists keep quitting because I'm too chronically unwell to ever be truly stable.

The only thing I can think of is to actually find something fulfilling to do with my life. But I'm not interested in anything at all, just depressed.

Please help. I want to get better but I am at a loss.

 

[Zegers]

I got myself a job, partner, go to the gym every day, therapy every week, medicated, sleep well, eat well

Nothing of this has helped you?

 

[Rounded Agony]

Are your job, partner, therapist and medication(s) actually good? These things are often touted as solutions in and of themselves, but the sad reality is they aren't. There's work to get these things, but there's more work to get quality.

The fact that your therapists are quitting on you is not only unheard of, but to me a pretty clear sign that they aren't cut out for the responsibility of a hard case. I also don't believe everyone/thing can be "fixed" in a therapy context but a lot of that is the poor training that's seemingly commonplace in the profession.

Good on you for making all this effort and progress though.

 

[jamie_]

I used to have all of those things, enjoy it, and I was happy. Now I have none of those things because I am too sad to want to do so. I think the problem is you need to want to do these things. Simply doing these things doesn't help imo.

 

[Regen]

I feel you. I also think its very difficult to change something in feelings. I tried a lot and I feel sad and hopeless and without energy.

How many different medicine you try? Did you like the therapists you visit in the past? Did you try different therapy methods? Do you try a rehab? (I mean not psychiatrie ward in case of emergency). Do you visit a good group therapy? Do you like what you do for sports? What would your little child inside like to do (without thinking about the reality)? Is there Something you are dreaming of? For what you are burning, but did not do because of any reasons? Did you try meditation? Do you know people in real life who are struggling Like you? Do you love it to be with you partner? Are you sure you have no physical reasons, like Vitamin D (just for example, because I dont know the english words from the other diseases). When in life it was a little better? And maybe why?

I know it is so difficult being happy......

 

[przeciwwymiotne]

I've tried so fucking hard for the last 4 years of intense mental illness to stay here. I am doing everything they say to do.

I got myself a job, partner, go to the gym every day, therapy every week, medicated, sleep well, eat well and every cycle of this? fucking nothing changes.

Whenever I think I might be getting somewhere I end up in the same place. Wanting to die so bad I can't stand it.

At this point I'm at a complete loss for what can help me. My therapists keep quitting because I'm too chronically unwell to ever be truly stable.

The only thing I can think of is to actually find something fulfilling to do with my life. But I'm not interested in anything at all, just depressed.

Please help. I want to get better but I am at a loss.

Okay, I'm going to attempt coming up with a solution for you. The thing you need to know about me is that I like plans, small steps and low effort change. I'm about to aks a few questions, sorry it's so many. Try to answer them in your time, and honestly (avoid "idk" answers, write anything, even if it's stupid or delusional or whatever)

1. What would getting better mean to you? How do you feel when you're unwell?
2. How would the fullfilling thing feel?
3. Have you ever felt fulfilled in the past?

But also,
1.1. how old are you?
1.2. Are your expectations for life too high? 1.3. Do you want your life to be easy and effortless all the time?(kinda impossible haha)