Venting Why is it hard to have people care about you?

[meghead]

It's not a rhetorical question; I genuinely want to know. I've done everything. Nobody wants to care about me. I'm just there. I feel like a diary. I'm there to listen to whatever they have in mind, but they never care for any input that I have. They never care for my own feelings or thoughts. I've been distancing myself. I don't have the mental stability to continue a conversation on fucking video games when I have spent the entire day planning out my suicide.

 

[oohiniyorafaad]

I dont know honestly I'm still trying to figure it out. I've been so let down by family in my most difficult times. Just in general I think people are hypocritical and their hearts are hardened. sometimes people are really sick and can be very and disappointing

 

[FuneralCry]

Many people are very selfish and they only care about what directly affects themselves. People can be very cruel and I would personally rather just stay away from them. People are capable of causing us to experience a lot of pain. I'm sorry you are going through this. I wish you the best.

 

[Al Cappella]

In my case there's not even any mystery involved as to why companionship is difficult to find. I have BPD, along with a bunch of anxiety shit = it's likely I'll stay alone. Now I have been able to attract ppl, but they don't stay long term I don't blame them either. I can't stand me, so why should they?

 

[sad_gurl_thoughts]

I often feel this way. I really try to "show up" for people and be a good friend, but it feels like I'm always the last person on everyone else's list. I can't see where I'm going wrong, and people insist I'm a great/kind/funny person…so then why does no one show up for me or seem to care when I'm struggling? My supposed best friend who I supported through a bad breakup a few months ago turned her back on me as soon as my partner left me. There's just no reciprocation.

I too go through waves where these feelings make me want to distance myself from people who seem to not care. But then it feels like I'm shooting myself in the foot because of course no one cares when I keep disappearing… It's a vicious cycle.

Not sure what the cause is…maybe it's just me being a shitty and selfish person, even if I don't realize it? Or maybe I open up to bad/inconsiderate people? If that's the problem, I really wish I were better at choosing my people. Either way, I guess I'm the deficiency…

 

[Interloper]

Like so much in life, I guess you just have to get lucky with finding them.

 

[MrBlue]

In my case us because I don't deserve it. I'm simply not good enough for someone to care about me beyond momentary pity or disgust.
I distanced myself for a long time too, trying to rectify that changed nothing.

 

[whatevs]

Lack of charisma, or excessive sensibility. Those are the things I came up for myself, they might apply to other people too.

 

[Mr2005]

Would it make any difference to your suicide plans because if so then it's understandable but if not then it's better they don't

 

[DunnoWhyButYeah]

Good question ... For me, it's probably that I'm too "heavy" a person. I talk too much (I still listen to others too), I'm too honest, too open, I'm emotional. It's easier for people to ignore me than to be a friend to me and care.

However, I'm also an introvert and I don't feel the need to be with people as much as I should. At the moment, I also push all the people away from me and avoid people hurting me anymore and not hurting anyone ... I am not like others, in many ways and it makes things difficult.

 

[CommitSudoku]

I wanted to say I think this depends on the people you're friends with and yourself, mostly. In my experience, if you don't open up, others won't as much, so it never becomes a deeper relationship. But then there's also just how people are and everyone is different. I am, or used to, be very curious about everything about others to the point I asked so many people questions that I would drive them away and now have developed a way of writing where I notably avoid questions when at all possible. It often was that I was far more invested in the other person's lives than they ever were in mine, in some cases I'd rarely ever get asked about myself even if a part of me really wanted things to be equal. But I wasn't honest about what I wanted so it remained that way until they left since there was no push to change how it was. It just grinded at me and now I have trust issues and am scared to start new friendships, though hopefully I won't need any since I won't be around long haha

Anyways anyways, I think what I mentioned above are big factors, some people just aren't wired to return the favor of listening or perhaps they were and stuff happened and they can't. And then aside from that outside factors come into play. Like people just get busier with life. Or maybe the situation where the conversation taking place isn't suitable for some topics. It could be any manner of thing. I would also just say I agree with a user above as well, if it's not going to make a difference and you plan on leaving life, it is easier not to have anyone caring.

I'd honestly ask so many things but I just can't bring myself to. I'd like to think I'm caring, but in many situations my fear and anxiety are stronger than my ability to reach out or inquire about others. I do love places like this where on discussions I can at least post somewhat more freely and honestly.

 

[Maaizr]

lmao people are inconsistent, incompetent, boring little fuckers atleast from experience/perspective but im definitely a shitlord in my own super special ways too

 

[Neowise]

It's not a rhetorical question; I genuinely want to know. I've done everything. Nobody wants to care about me. I'm just there. I feel like a diary. I'm there to listen to whatever they have in mind, but they never care for any input that I have. They never care for my own feelings or thoughts. I've been distancing myself. I don't have the mental stability to continue a conversation on fucking video games when I have spent the entire day planning out my suicide.

I've been wondering the same. I guess nobody likes to listen to other people's interests, but we are nice enough to do it anyways. Everybody just wants to talk about themselves but not listen. I have given up on talking about my interests, wishes, hopes, dreams, thoughs, problems etc. because nobody cares anyways. I still live with my parents but they and my brother don't know me at all.