Discussion Why is CBT such a comforting thought

[bl00deater]

I am only calm when I'm thinking about cbting I'm severely anxious if I'm not.

I think about my family finding me, I think about my friends, my brother out of state hearing about it, my partner finding out. It's so soothing, to think sometime soon I'll be gone, I won't be here and there's nothing anyone could do. I think going back to school, would deter for a little bit not for long enough though. I really miss my older brother, if there is an after life we'll see each other, drawing him and treating him like he's still in this miserable world some way isn't helping.

I'm thinking after to this concert I'm seeing with my aunt is a perfect time, so she has a good memory of me. We're going at the end of the month, she's giving me her old cds of this band.

Don't care what my mom thinks much, nor my dad. They're both the type of people I despise. They ruined my brother who lives with me, along with me.

My only fear about this, is my brother who lives with me finding me. I rather my mom open the door to me unresponsive than him. I'll clean my room nicely the day I do, put a CD in and let everything fade out with me.

I'm using SN as my method, I'll say it a billion times over, I just need to save up the money for it. It's easy access for me, not too pricey for a 10lb bag either.

 

[vanillamilkshakes]

I think its knowing that you can control the end of your suffering, knowing that you have an out.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Death is the only relief from all suffering and pain we may have to endure - that's why thoughts about CTB are comforting to me.

 

[BoredNTired]

I think it puts everything in the context of an end. Your current state and unhappiness and situation all can feel a lot less overwelming when you know they won't be there anymore with a single action.

 

[HopeToStay]

Yeah it's the only thing getting me through the day atm.

Though i have to remind myself every morning, as i normaly wake up in feeling good, then remember about all the shit things, then have to remind myself that they don't really matter as if things don't improve i can just ctb.

 

[Forever Sleep]

The idea of not having to deal with life's problems anymore is massively comforting. The amount of times I say to myself during the day- one day, I won't have to deal with this shit anymore. Even better- maybe I can kill myself before I have to deal with it.

Can't say I'm comforted at all by the thought of actually having to do it though. That's still a terrifying thought.

 

[Marco77]

You live in a terrible hell where everything burns on you and around you. But you have an atomic bomb which, with its apocalyptic blast, can put out all that infernal fire forever. This weapon is suicide and the finger on the start button is yours alone. This is what allows you to find a sort of inner serenity.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand, ceasing to exist truly would be the only comfort and relief for me personally, I'm always so tired of suffering in this existence.

 

[Sprite_Geist]

I liken suicide to an ejection seat in a vehicle. When a person experiences too much punishment their life starts to break apart like a damaged aircraft; their relationships and finances twist and bend, as their already-weakened being loses integrity. In this situation it can give comfort knowing that a method of escape is available at a moments notice. This could be preferable to staying until their life takes a complete nosedive.

This is not the best analogy though given that an ejector seat is designed to save the occupant after an escape. I should rethink this...

 

[bl00deater]

This made perfect sense to me actually perfect analogy:-)

 

[Major Tom]

Im kinda convinced that i will get euphoric before death cus i experienced a traumatic brain injury as an infant. My dreams simulated near death experiences like shock, narrowed vision, euphoria and wanting to faint afterwards. But i don't know for sure. It sure helps with the anticipation.