Venting Why I’m scared to die

[Arachnid_Antichrist]

(I'm sorry if this post is all over the place. I have so many things to say and I'm really tired.)

I've been suicidal and aware of my mortality ever since I can remember. When I was in around the third or fourth grade, I would lay in bed and pray and wish for a higher power to kill me so I wouldn't have to endure mental abuse from my family any longer. As I got older, I began to become more aware of not only the ways someone can die but also what happens after death. This made me ask myself the question: what happens after death? This question is something that I know a lot of other people ask or are wondering about. As much as I would like to know what happens after death, there is no real way of me finding out other that to CTB and be gone forever. And that would suck because then I wouldn't be able to come back and tell everyone what happens after death so that they would be less scared to CTB and could die peacefully knowing exactly what they were getting into. And that's the whole reason I'm scared to CTB. I want my pain and suffering to be over but I don't know what will happen to me or my consciousness after I die. My biggest fear is that there with be nothing. Just a pitch black where I am devoid of all senses where I will just be alone with my thoughts for the rest of eternity. But hey, nothing is still something I guess.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Just a pitch black where I am devoid of all senses where I will just be alone with my thoughts for the rest of eternity.

If you're devoid of all senses, it seems to me you wouldn't have thoughts, or at least consciousness of thoughts.

 

[Arachnid_Antichrist]

If you're devoid of all senses, it seems to me you wouldn't have thoughts, or at least consciousness of thoughts.

Devoid of all senses in a more physical sense. I think that our bodies and consciousness are not connected but are able to live in a sort of symbiotic relationship with one another.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Devoid of all senses in a more physical sense. I think that our bodies and consciousness are not connected but are able to live in a sort of symbiotic relationship with one another.

That's interesting.

 

[Wyldfyre4948]

A healthy fear of death was with me for most of my life. The fear that there was nothing afterwards scared me to no end. I believe there is something though and I want to be reunited with lost loved ones. Recently the fear of nothing was actually a comfort because it would just be over. No more pain or worry just nothingness that we fade into. Though we've had so many supernatural accounts that there has to be something.

 

[Arachnid_Antichrist]

A healthy fear of death was with me for most of my life. The fear that there was nothing afterwards scared me to no end. I believe there is something though and I want to be reunited with lost loved ones. Recently the fear of nothing was actually a comfort because it would just be over. No more pain or worry just nothingness that we fade into. Though we've had so many supernatural accounts that there has to be something.

I agree. I've been thinking more about it and maybe being in a black void of nothingness wouldn't be too bad after all…

 

[Leeroy14R]

Run away when someone begins to talk about:
- Heaven
- Hell
- Reincarnation
- Sources
- Freeze boxes
- Memory Recycling
- Weird Soul Energies
- Dimensions
- Anything with parallels
- Alien Programing
- You being related to God
- All humans are one, to form God
- Anything with God
- Ancestors
- Great ones not here
- Green Elfs
- Mushroom Gods
- Anything explained by science
- Matter Compilers
- Vodoo
- Soul Slavary
- Imagimetrix
- Vegetables
- Woo-Woo lands
- Universal Transmutation
- Death adaptation
- Era Zones
- Lizard People

You can't listen to those who love life because they are scared of death. For a freeman life is beautiful. For a slave death is the only freedom you will ever know. Just like you said nothing happens because nothing is better than everything...

 

[Vegan Antinatalist]

(I'm sorry if this post is all over the place. I have so many things to say and I'm really tired.)

I've been suicidal and aware of my mortality ever since I can remember. When I was in around the third or fourth grade, I would lay in bed and pray and wish for a higher power to kill me so I wouldn't have to endure mental abuse from my family any longer. As I got older, I began to become more aware of not only the ways someone can die but also what happens after death. This made me ask myself the question: what happens after death? This question is something that I know a lot of other people ask or are wondering about. As much as I would like to know what happens after death, there is no real way of me finding out other that to CTB and be gone forever. And that would suck because then I wouldn't be able to come back and tell everyone what happens after death so that they would be less scared to CTB and could die peacefully knowing exactly what they were getting into. And that's the whole reason I'm scared to CTB. I want my pain and suffering to be over but I don't know what will happen to me or my consciousness after I die. My biggest fear is that there with be nothing. Just a pitch black where I am devoid of all senses where I will just be alone with my thoughts for the rest of eternity. But hey, nothing is still something I guess.

My greatest fear is actually the opposite. im terrified of remaining here in some way. theres no way to completely destroy matter, but if there was, i would choose that for my body disposal

 

[Forever Sleep]

Devoid of all senses in a more physical sense. I think that our bodies and consciousness are not connected but are able to live in a sort of symbiotic relationship with one another.

I guess it's possible- I know some people believe that. Still- I would still say our current state of consciousness depends greatly on having a physical body. How will you know it's dark- if you don't have eyes to see? How will you even be aware of time passing if there's no experience of living through a day and a night? No experience of living at all?

Personally- I think our thoughts and memories are linked to our brains- rather than whatever it is that causes us to be sentient. So- people with damage to their brains can change in their thinking patterns and memory. It makes more sense to me that- when the brain dies- so do all the memories it was storing. I hope so anyway!

 

[FuneralCry]

I very strongly believe we just cease existing after this, once we lose consciousness that is it for us and we will be completely unaware of everything for all eternity, there literally is nothing to fear as one will be unable to experience anything, they simply won't exist. I see such a thing as being the only relief and comfort as to die is true freedom from this dreadful existence and is the absence of all suffering, I only fear existing in this hellish reality where there is unlimited potential to suffer endlessly.

 

[アホペンギン]

I also feel the same way as you, around the time i was 8-10 years old, i didn't really understand the concept of suicide very well but i, too, would lay in my bed hoping for something to kill me, regardless of if whether it wouldve been peaceful or not. I just wanted my horrid life to end. Regarding your opinion on what happens after death, though, i agree with the circumstances of after death (pitch black and your thoughts) but, there has to be an afterlife, whether its bad or not. After having suffering with suicidal thoughts and depression for a decade, i even thought about the possible existence of reincarnation, out of desperation. Even if reincarnation or an afterlife doesn't exist, i don't think that the pitch blackness is that bad, When you're dead, you lose all consciousness of the past and the present. I don't know how to explain this because i'm not a philosopher but that is my opinion on this. You have all rights to be afriad of CTB and what the future will be, im sur everyone is the same, even if they don't admit it. Its very scary, what happens after death, all the uncertainty and the fact that no one can come back and give you some sort of reassurance.

 

[Arachnid_Antichrist]

I very strongly believe we just cease existing after this, once we lose consciousness that is it for us and we will be completely unaware of everything for all eternity, there literally is nothing to fear as one will be unable to experience anything, they simply won't exist. I see such a thing as being the only relief and comfort as to die is true freedom from this dreadful existence and is the absence of all suffering, I only fear existing in this hellish reality where there is unlimited potential to suffer endlessly.

This is so real and relatable