Why haven't your suicidal thoughts crumbled your relationship yet?

[Øystein]

I feel like it's a bunch of thick gloomy clouds over mine, a powder keg. I'm constantly on edge pretending I'm not depressed and have plans for our future and am doing everything they expect from a normal healthy person and I'm trying, I really am, to hide with my self harm. What I can't pretend to do is feel confident that I really shouldnt leave them for their own good. All I can cause is pain because of my own, I am no one and can offer nothing valuable because all I want is to die. Not looking for advice here, just want to know what your relationships are like. Do any of you also feel like you should leave just to stop wasting someone's time, despite being a stable and loving couple on the outside (and in your partner's eyes)?

It's a constant cycle of guilt.

 

[Bootleg Astolfo]

Because i don't have one #progamermove

 

[ExhaustedExistence]

Because i don't have one #progamermove

That's what I wanted to say lol.

 

[WornOutLife]

I'm single but I feel just like you in every single aspect of my life.

For instance, I love my job but when my students ask me how I'm doing, I wish I could be honest the way I am here on SS and tell them something like "Well, I wanted to ctb some days ago and my bipolar disorder makes things quite hard but I'm really happy to be teaching you English right now" lol.

Anyway, we have no choice but to keep on fighting as long as we're alive.

I don't want to be a NEET for 3 years never ever again.

 

[nofutureghost]

it's on your way actually haha :) damnimsofuckingsad

 

[Diesel_Punk]

As a matter of fact they have, well not the suicidal thoughts themselves but the depression but I guess it's good to know that there is one less person me ctb will
Inconvenience

 

[Celerity]

My family refuses to give up on me. The suicidal ideation has messed with friendships in the past. That's not why I'm alone now though. No one finds me appealing enough to stay for long.

 

[BlankUser]

It affects my relationship a lot. My boyfriend knows I'm suicidal. He doesn't want to lose me, but he said he would support my decision if assisted suicide was available for me. He would even support my decision to get N. However, he doesn't support other methods. I know if I ctb his life will never be the same. He will suffer. But I think he would have a chance at better life.

 

[Øystein]

It affects my relationship a lot. My boyfriend knows I'm suicidal. He doesn't want to lose me, but he said he would support my decision if assisted suicide was available for me. He would even support my decision to get N. However, he doesn't support other methods. I know if I ctb his life will never be the same. He will suffer. But I think he would have a chance at better life.

You found yourself an incredibly selfless person. I hope life goes well for him.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

What relationship?

If I just had one with the right person I likely wouldn't be suicidal or depressed at all in the first place.

 

[saltshaker]

Don't have one, basically an incel.

Seems very problematic, I can't imagine pretending to give a fuck about working, going out, saving, children, etc. I just don't have it in me to fake it that much.

 

[FuneralCry]

I don't have an relationship, in terms of like a partner. It honestly doesn't appeal to me as I guess I like isolating myself, i'm introverted in nature. and if I had to constantly think of somebody else it would be a burden. However what you described is how I feel around my family, having to put on a front and appear positive and its exhausting. This life isn't for me but others would fail to see that as an rational point of view.

 

[Last Caress]

Because my relationship caused the suicidal thoughts. Sort of, I had suicidal thoughts but the relationship compressed them a lot, and when the relationship broke, so the compressed thoughts burst. My life is pretty much a story, and we know what all stories have in common.... they end.

 

[SweetDreams500]

Cuz I'm an incel and I have none

 

[Sprite_Geist]

I find it difficult to seek out other people that I could have a relationship with, and even when I do find someone who is compatible they never stay around for too long. Any connections that I have, or had, usually die before they have a chance to form into anything close to a relationship. All of this happens without others knowing that I have suicidal thoughts.