Why doesn't anyone like me?

[EverydayIsTheSame]

I have struggled my whole life with making friends/ being social. I smile at people and they look the other way. The last few years I have been battling a health condition that has made this problem become much worse. I am always in pain and tired due to my health problem which makes it hard for me to even think sometimes and has made being social even more of a challenge. I am going through a divorce brought on by my wife. We have 5 kids together that I love deeply. I am extremely afraid my poor social skills are rubbing off on my children. I don't know what it is I am looking for here but I honestly don't know if I can go on another day. I want to give up and if not for my kids I would have a long time ago. I just don't want my kids.to be anything like me. I'm so sick of feeling so worthless.

 

[FuneralCry]

It must be tiring and awful what you are going through, I understand why you'd just wish to be free from existing. But anyway best wishes.

 

[Mrpickles]

It makes things tough when kids are involved. It's really the only thing that has kept me from it as well. I personally get really really bad social anxiety, but I've been able to fake it pretty well that people don't notice. Some days I can't do it so it creates these awkward situations where people know me for being outgoing and always in a great mood to not being able to even make eye contact or make the smallest of small talk.

Your kids may not end up with your social skills, there's a lot of development in that area until about age 25. College can shape someone's social skills or jobs. Everyone is different of course, but hopefully they don't. Best wishes bud

 

[alterationitfinds]

as a child to a dad who is suicidal and closed off, i can tell you that we rarely blame you. still choosing to be a father in the face of adversity is something to be really proud of. a lot of people would have chosen themselves by now but you haven't and that's a testament to your character. other people may not like you but i'm sure your children do and there's absolutely nothing wrong with being inherently awkward, it might mean it's harder to make friends but it also usually means that the small amount of friends that you do make are of a higher quality. children learn more from external influences like school and hobbies way more than they do from their parents, as long as you are there for them and feed/water them then i'd say there's nothing to worry about :)

 

[Garf125]

You had a wife so I highly doubt you're ugly to the point people look away. I don't know about your culture but in England people usually find it off-putting if a stranger smiles at them randomly in the street. If someone smiled at me I'd probably avoid their gaze but that's because I'm autistic and try to avoid social interaction at all costs as a coping mechanism. That probably also makes me a poor source on how to fare better in social situations.
Also I can't advise strongly enough do not kill yourself if you have kids you're in contact with. My dad's dad killed himself when my dad was 21 and it completely changed him and his life for the worse. He did it with carbon monoxide before catalytic converters got better.

 

[-Toplox-]

"I don't want my kids to be anything like me" Goddamn that hit hard. I know we're supposed to think the opposite as parents, but for christ sake if my son turns out anything like me idk what I'd do. Honestly it's a big reason why I want to stay. I want to stay to try and help guide him far away from any of the shitbag paths I chose to take.

 

[WAITING TO DIE]

I have struggled my whole life with making friends/ being social. I smile at people and they look the other way. The last few years I have been battling a health condition that has made this problem become much worse. I am always in pain and tired due to my health problem which makes it hard for me to even think sometimes and has made being social even more of a challenge. I am going through a divorce brought on by my wife. We have 5 kids together that I love deeply. I am extremely afraid my poor social skills are rubbing off on my children. I don't know what it is I am looking for here but I honestly don't know if I can go on another day. I want to give up and if not for my kids I would have a long time ago. I just don't want my kids.to be anything like me. I'm so sick of feeling so worthless.

So sorry you are going through this, divorce is extremely stressful to go through, especially when children are involved. Yet, being a loving Father is far more important than having certain social skills. My own Father was very outgoing and popular, yet He was a complete bastard to his family.
I would have definitely preferred a Father who was loving verses a bastard of a Father who had good social skills.
You are obviously a very loving Father and that's all that matters to your children.

 

[Murt]

I feel about the same. I get on with people but I can never make long term connections. My wife's divorcing me, I thought we were happy but she's saying some really hard things now. I adore her and the rejection is killing me. My kids are all that's kept me going to. Pm me if you want to stay in touch. I feel in many ways we are the same.