Discussion Why does society try to talk us out of it?

[Cutepoison]

I don't get it. I feel miserable, I don't want to be here but why is everyone trying to talk me out of it? Why is suicide something that is bad? For people like me, I seriously don't get it why we have to try and hang in there. Fucking bullshit. Cuz of tax and big pharma?

 

[SlackJim]

we are hardwired to survive, anything else is not considered normal

 

[Nem]

It sucks but even animals commit suicide. People tell me not to commit suicide but look at all of the famous people that ended their lives...and somehow I'm more worthy than them? So close to death every single day it's unbelievable
Peace/hugs

 

[LMLN]

People who are not in great pain, emotional or physical, do not understand. They cannot imagine wanting to die.

 

[Cutepoison]

we are hardwired to survive, anything else is not considered normal

Yeah but isn't there suicide genes/part of DNA that's there in us, some of us just got those handed out more

 

[Carina]

Sometimes I think it's more of what the others want than us. I hear way too many times that suicidal people are "selfish", yet I see so many times how we are thinking about our loved ones, our pets, who will take care of them, what days to not do it on so they don't have bad memories on special days, what method to use sometimes to make it easier on them, even how to delay call an emergency service, or using a hotel, just so family doesn't find us, but a stranger does, or a person trained for it. That's selfish? Our last acts are thinking of others practically.

And then like others said, they can't imagine being in pain of one type or another all the time, or think that they'd want to live no matter what, even though the worst thing that probably happened to them was a broken bone or toothache.

But I kind of view it too like with my grandmother. She had a DNR. When she was in the hospital on her last days, they had her intubated to keep lungs inflated so she could breathe. Everyone thought I was sad because she was dieing, but I said "she doesn't want this". They asked what I'd do and I said "pull it", and my mom and her husband (who put her there--jerk), was like "OMG HOW DARE YOU!" what if she was your mom! wouldn't you miss her? But I was like She's my grandma, I love her, I don't want her to die, I want her around, but this isn't what she wants. And even then, they still couldn't get past the it wasn't what they wanted, it was what she wanted--even though she had it in writing.

So I think people's reaction to suicide is like that. They don't want the person gone, and they don't care what the other person wants, it's all about them and their wishes (the person not wanting to die). So they try to stop them, prevent it, constantly try to revive them if they can. Because their thought is, and I've heard it before with attempted suicides, "how could you do this to me". Never thinking that maybe the person just wants to die, and it has nothing to do with them.

 

[SlackJim]

Yeah but isn't there suicide genes/part of DNA that's there in us, some of us just got those handed out more

yeah but my point is to most people protecting life comes above everything else. Someone who wants to end their life isn't thinking straight and should be stopped at all costs. I don't agree with that but I get why most of the population does

 

[Retard]

Sometimes I think it's more of what the others want than us. I hear way too many times that suicidal people are "selfish", yet I see so many times how we are thinking about our loved ones, our pets, who will take care of them, what days to not do it on so they don't have bad memories on special days, what method to use sometimes to make it easier on them, even how to delay call an emergency service, or using a hotel, just so family doesn't find us, but a stranger does, or a person trained for it. That's selfish? Our last acts are thinking of others practically.

And then like others said, they can't imagine being in pain of one type or another all the time, or think that they'd want to live no matter what, even though the worst thing that probably happened to them was a broken bone or toothache.

But I kind of view it too like with my grandmother. She had a DNR. When she was in the hospital on her last days, they had her intubated to keep lungs inflated so she could breathe. Everyone thought I was sad because she was dieing, but I said "she doesn't want this". They asked what I'd do and I said "pull it", and my mom and her husband (who put her there--jerk), was like "OMG HOW DARE YOU!" what if she was your mom! wouldn't you miss her? But I was like She's my grandma, I love her, I don't want her to die, I want her around, but this isn't what she wants. And even then, they still couldn't get past the it wasn't what they wanted, it was what she wanted--even though she had it in writing.

So I think people's reaction to suicide is like that. They don't want the person gone, and they don't care what the other person wants, it's all about them and their wishes (the person not wanting to die). So they try to stop them, prevent it, constantly try to revive them if they can. Because their thought is, and I've heard it before with attempted suicides, "how could you do this to me". Never thinking that maybe the person just wants to die, and it has nothing to do with them.

That was extremely well put, and I'm very sorry to hear of your distressing experience at the hospital, which I'm sure made an already awful time all the more difficult to contend with.
When somebody I knew ended their life, one of their 'friends' put a comment on their memorial social media page saying something along the lines of "You should have reached out and we'd have helped." Well, not only is it fait accompli and therefore rubbing salt in the wound, it's also immensely arrogant to assume they could have had any impact whatsoever on that person's decision. As you've already worded so elegantly, I think it boils down to a fundamental lack of empathy and a misplaced sense of 'ownership' over the individual in question.

 

[Emily123]

People's behaviour does not mke sence most of the time . They are following some thoughts without thinking about them.

 

[Skyview]

Yeah but isn't there suicide genes/part of DNA that's there in us, some of us just got those handed out more

No , no one has suicide genes !

 

[OneBigBlur]

It sucks but even animals commit suicide.

Animals do not commit suicide, human beings are unique in this aspect because of our advanced consciousness.

 

[Hotsackage]

They dont know what pain is. Fuck it

 

[Carina]

Animals do not commit suicide, human beings are unique in this aspect because of our advanced consciousness.

Apparently they don't commit suicide, but they do (in captivity) sometimes react to stress in such a way as if trying to escape or something to some stressful incident, that otherwise causes their death. In humans we'd say that's suicide, but it's probably just a captivity/stress thing in them--as far as we might know, because we can't really study them.

 

[Guizin239]

Because they're dickheads who think they know everything when they don't

 

[MarkDecal]

The worst part is that most will try to talk you out of suicide and will then go back to ignoring your existence.

 

[pandora]

My irony is that I work with at-risk teens, and a large chunk of my time is talking to kids who cut, have significant depression, eating disorders, suicidal ideation, etc. I can't offer them support to CTB; my role is to convince them to get help (or force the issue through emergency community services). I consider CTB daily, yet my career is focused on talking people out of it. At least I can relate to them, and I've been complimented by my colleagues that nothing a kid says has ever freaked me out...but it's still a huge contradiction in my world.

As for why I do this work....I hate to see kids hurting, and this position has been a natural career progression. While I truly do support people's right to CTB, I also think society owes it to our kids to help them find a reason to carry on if at all possible. Some of these kids have suffered significant trauma and abuse, and they are so strong. I understand their desire to stop existing in this world, but at the same time they are so young. If I can help them NOT get to where I am, that's what I want to do.

I don't know if this makes any sense....

 

[Carina]

My irony is that I work with at-risk teens, and a large chunk of my time is talking to kids who cut, have significant depression, eating disorders, suicidal ideation, etc. I can't offer them support to CTB; my role is to convince them to get help (or force the issue through emergency community services). I consider CTB daily, yet my career is focused on talking people out of it. At least I can relate to them, and I've been complimented by my colleagues that nothing a kid says has ever freaked me out...but it's still a huge contradiction in my world.

As for why I do this work....I hate to see kids hurting, and this position has been a natural career progression. While I truly do support people's right to CTB, I also think society owes it to our kids to help them find a reason to carry on. Some of these kids have suffered significant trauma and abuse, and they are so strong. I understand their desire to stop existing in this world, but at the same time they are so young. If I can help them NOT get to where I am, that's what I want to do.

I don't know if this makes any sense....

Makes sense to me. Something I've come to realize as a general thing at least. It seems the people who are the most suicidal, more likely to do it, have plans to do it, etc--are the ones who are most likely to try and help others not go there. Even when I was younger, the suicidal people kind of knew who the others were, even if never mentioned, it was just like they 'knew'

The only reason I never went into psychology for counseling (I have more college hours than needed for a phd, but in different fields--masters in psychology though for teaching/general): What right did I have to try and help others, when I couldn't help myself. At least that was something I thought back then. Now I know I could've helped people, even if I would've been rushed to an earlier death from it. Granted the talking people out of ctb would've been difficult... really difficult, but still.

 

[chris8000]

I don't get it. I feel miserable, I don't want to be here but why is everyone trying to talk me out of it? Why is suicide something that is bad? For people like me, I seriously don't get it why we have to try and hang in there. Fucking bullshit. Cuz of tax and big pharma?

I think there is something intuitive people have that makes them value life, and they want to protect and look after it, this is inherantly a good thing as long as it does not go too far. While I agree with state assisted euthanasia and I am a liberal, there is a balance to be struck between giving everyone the chance to easily die by their own hand and preserving life because of this inherant value.

While I truly do support people's right to CTB, I also think society owes it to our kids to help them find a reason to carry on if at all possible.

I liked this post, and these two things don't contradict each other. Society can still encourage and support people living happy content lives as much as possible, while supporting euthanasia in some cases.

If we gave everyone suicide kits at birth because of their right to decide, then most people would be dead quickly, I would have CTB in my teens. That is a pretty bleak vision of our humanity in my opinion.

 

[Leavinglalaland]

I'm just tired of the guilt tripping they do to make me think about what they will feel like after. What about what I will feel like? Will I be onto another life? Another plane of existence? It's strange to think about and then they tell me to think about everyone I'll leave behind. It's one person that cares about me and she's told me before she understands why. Life isn't fair to everyone and that's ok. I've accepted that, but it doesn't mean I want to stay a slave to a job I hate and be lonely.

 

[Last Caress]

Hi snowflakes,

It's more of a rational phase here. Known and famous people killed themselves, so they are dead, of course they are to be less important then you because you are alive. This is what it matters.

And it's just others can not really understand us because they are used to what humanity thought them: to live no matter what. To survive no matter what.

In other words, we can't understand them either, we cand understand why they want us alive, since we are kind of useless..

Love,
Last Caress.

 

[OneBigBlur]

They do it to comfort themselves, to make it seem like they are helping you and making a difference when that isn't the case. People's idea of help is effectively throwing you into a psychiatric ward by betraying your trust and not actually lifting a finger. It's a convenient way for them to escape responsibility without actually making an effort. Many people here would not be killing themselves if society provided them with safety nets and if people cared about them but that isn't the world we live in. Normal people don't really care if it isn't affecting them, but will lie to themselves to give off the illusion of caring. It's about their own psychological well being, not yours.

 

[Flume]

Death is scary, there's no return... nothing you can do afterwards, there's no second choice when it's done. So society is very careful with it.

 

[Mizzmini45]

$$$

 

[Xebsora29]

I don't get it. I feel miserable, I don't want to be here but why is everyone trying to talk me out of it? Why is suicide something that is bad? For people like me, I seriously don't get it why we have to try and hang in there. Fucking bullshit. Cuz of tax and big pharma?

Society attempts to talk us out of it because it's perceived as abnormal.

Living, survival, and trying our best to succeed because we are given an opportunity of life, is all humanity has ever known.

Thus, we are forced by society to discard the plan and live on. Thrown into mental hospitals, psych wards, become evaluated by doctors, and enforced to consume medication that would supposedly shift our lives towards a purpose of living.

Conclusion:

Anyone who doesn't validate the life game is bullied into conformity. Thats all there is to it.

 

[Moonicide]

For money and their own benefit. But at the same time, I think many people would feel guilty for not trying to 'save' us. Like they're some sort of monster, or there's blood on their hands. There are people out there that genuinely care, but are often misguided and think that saying empty words like how life gets better, etc. could provide us with hope. Sometimes it works, but only for people out there that don't want to die and simply be heard and understood. But for the people that genuinely want to die, there's nothing you can do to keep them here.

 

[Nnana]

All suicidal people have the stigma of being sick, mentally ill, so society thinks that the suicidal should be treated. Suicide is probably the biggest taboo. Society can't accept that suicide can be rational, even when a person is in extreme pain, and there's no hope of her situation getting better.

 

[Soulless_Angel]

because society sucks ass and doesn't understand life ain;t all shit and roses and perfection

 

[Finis Autem Spero]

I would wager that it's a combination of people falsely seeing death (by any cause) as a bad thing because it makes them sad when people they know and care about stop existing, and the fact that controlling factions such as religions (no tithes/donations, fewer believers to breed/convert others) and governments (can't tax the dead) have an interest in keeping you alive.

Also:

 

[TAW122]

@MarkDecal Indeed, very true. What they are essentially doing is pre-programmed virtue signals. It's almost as if like anything related to 'death' or 'suicide' triggers their savior switch, which is to guilt and shame suicidal people back into "living". They don't care that suicidal people are suffering, just as long as they are 'alive' it doesn't bother them.

@OneBigBlur Yes, I've noticed that a lot, especially when seeing how people react to people who have died by suicide. It's always about the others' feelings and never (if rarely) about the suicidal person who is suffering. These majority of people are like NPC's (Non-Playable Characters) who parrot off the mantra of how great life is and anything that threatens their delusion upsets them greatly. I don't even mention or talk about it IRL, because 99% of the people are like that, plus I won't get anything out of it, so all I can do is gather my method, wait until I decide I had enough (which is getting close) and then end it all without even hinting at suicide.

@Nnana Yes, and on the other side of the same coin, living just because of living is irrational too. However, pro-lifers and anti-suicide people never consider that point, instead they blindingly accept that "life is great."

 

[ARW3N]

we are hardwired to survive, anything else is not considered normal

That could be it! I have no other persuasive explanation for the extreme resistance and animosity to suicide. Everything we do is geared towards life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness despite the fact that life is suffering.