Why does dying have to frighten

[Avicii]

"Going to do it in an hour with N. To be honest I'm pretty scared"

This was the almost final post of a user who I contacted via the partners megathread- she left this word drinking N bravee to do it but she was scared..

The girl who posted of her final moments drinking SN (the one that made the website popular to the press) that oh my god I am fucking frightened!!!

Why can't dying just be unscary

 

[Rugnificent]

That's survival instinct for ya. Biologically speaking it isn't wise for us to just die on our own terms. Some people it affects more than others, but we all have it to an extent.

 

[Dreamcolleger]

I think it's because most people doing it still actually do have something somewhat significant to lose. One good way I've found to get over the fear is to look at others as inspiration. I don't mean to glorify being a follower, but everyone needs an inspiration

 

[Donewith_]

I was wondering the same. Its hard to climb some steps.

 

[LogicalConclusion]

If dying were easy, humanity wouldn't have gotten this far. Survival is the most basic instinct.

 

[Kikoo Loool]

Just millions of years of natural selection: beasts and people with strong survival instinct are more likely to live long, thus procreate more, hence transmitting it.

 

[Soul]

I was reading recently about a technique for "rebranding" fear and anxiety as excitement. Oh my gawd I've taken it and I'm so fucking excited! I can't wait to lose consciousness! I am totally looking forward to having seizures and going blank!

It sounds stupid, huh. But it might be worth a try. Especially for firm believers in the absence of any afterlife and born-again fundamentalists fear of death makes no sense at all, so retraining that animalistic SI could be a good technique.

As for inspiration, I loved what John Hurt (love & light to him) said about his impending death:

"I hope I shall have the courage to say,
'Vroom! Here we go! Let's become different molecules!'"

In last interview Sir John Hurt revealed he was not afraid of death

Actor spoke candidly on cancer battle and his beliefs about what happens when you die.

www.ibtimes.co.uk

 

[Alucard]

Two reasons why dying is difficult :
- biological constraint : our body is programmed to live
- social constraint : society prevents us from dying peacefully by prohibiting suicide painless means

 

[Tristevie]

Few people can flatter themselves, in all honesty, control over the fear of death.

To wonder about what can arouse this fear of death is first of all to measure the recoil before the unknown, which can justify an uncontrollable fear reaction, which is accompanied by a kind of hope of knowledge about the death. But death is precisely the unknowable: it defies any conceptual approach as well as any experience.

So yes, I may have seen a loved one die, or a corpse the day of a burial, but death is then presented to me as a fact that remains outside me, and I can not claim to know it with an experience like this. here, since it will be, when it arrives for me, a personal discovery concerning the deepest of my intimacy.

« Ne se suicident que les optimistes, les optimistes qui ne peuvent plus l'être. Les autres, n'ayant aucune raison de vivre, pourquoi en auraient-il de mourir ? »
(E Cioran)

 

[FF777]

Okay there is a difference between fear that you are about to be killed (human survival instinct) and the fear of what the after-life will actually be like..

Running from a bear that is about to kill you is scary because your survival instinct is panicking to keep you alive and run the heck away..

But that isn't the type of scariness the person taking N was talking about.. Your body isn't scared of N.. The thing she is scared of is what the after-life holds.....It is unknown to her, and people naturally fear the unknown.....They don't know what to expect, and that can be kind of intimidating and even scary..

If you read a lot of NDE reports, a very common theme among them is that after the experience the person now has absolutely no fear of death, and a lot of them even say they look forward to it, because it is no longer unknown to them any more, and what they have experienced was (usually) quite pleasant..

Also, I will say there is one more scariness factor, at least for me: Death is a big change.. Even if you aren't scared because of the 1st reason (human suvival instinct) and aren't scared of the 2nd reason (what the after-life might hold), it can still be scary any way for an other reason: It is a big change you are about to go through, especially when you are attached to your life and used to your friends, family, your house, your own body, every thing.....all of that is about to go away, and that can be intimidating even if you aren't afraid of what the after-life holds..

 

[SinisterKid]

If you read a lot of NDE reports, a very common theme among them is that after the experience the person now has absolutely no fear of death, and a lot of them even say they look forward to it, because it is no longer unknown to them any more, and what they have experienced was (usually) quite pleasant.

After my own NDE I can confirm this to be very true. Now its down to, do I live or die, thats it.

 

[Tristevie]

Okay there is a difference between fear that you are about to be killed (human survival instinct) and the fear of what the after-life will actually be like..

Running from a bear that is about to kill you is scary because your survival instinct is panicking to keep you alive and run the heck away..

But that isn't the type of scariness the person taking N was talking about.. Your body isn't scared of N.. The thing she is scared of is what the after-life holds.....It is unknown to her, and people naturally fear the unknown.....They don't know what to expect, and that can be kind of intimidating and even scary..

If you read a lot of NDE reports, a very common theme among them is that after the experience the person now has absolutely no fear of death, and a lot of them even say they look forward to it, because it is no longer unknown to them any more, and what they have experienced was (usually) quite pleasant..

Also, I will say there is one more scariness factor, at least for me: Death is a big change.. Even if you aren't scared because of the 1st reason (human suvival instinct) and aren't scared of the 2nd reason (what the after-life might hold), it can still be scary any way for an other reason: It is a big change you are about to go through, especially when you are attached to your life and used to your friends, family, your house, your own body, every thing.....all of that is about to go away, and that can be intimidating even if you aren't afraid of what the after-life holds..

LOL, read my text before writing your affirmations, your development can be heard on some specific points, but it looks like a monologue on the bottom ...

To allude here to the way in which the man, in general, seems to be wary of what is unknown to him is the precise point that I have highlighted.

Because if this retreat from the unknown can justify a fear reaction is more understandable, reports on NDE will never erase the stress and fears related to death.

 

[Sailfisher]

Not knowing and lack of control. Two things we all need for comfort.

 

[bluesky1972-2019]

Yes the fear of the unknown. But also it's kind of exciting to be leaving this existence to whatever is next!
We all are guaranteed to die no matter what. It's brave to take the choice yourself. I have much respect for people who ctb.

 

[Aliaiactaest]

As I've grown older, I have much less fear of death. To be sure, I still fear it, but it is much easier to rationalize. Having watched both my parents age, wither and die, I know what old age holds and it is is no more reassuring than death. When you've lost your body and your mind, yet you still cling to life, you really are a living ghost. Also, at my age, I can rationalize that I've seen or accomplished about 90% of the good that I will ever see or accomplish.

 

[Pistolero114]

Earth Wind & Fire......"if there's peace to find in dying well then; let the time be here". It can only frighten if you let it. A ship does not sink because of the water around; but the water that finds its way in. One thing I have found that helps me during trying times is the Litnany Against Fear.

I will not it fear; fear is the mind killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will allow it to pass over and around me. And when it is gone I will turn the inner eye to it's path......

..........only I will remain......

 

[FF777]

LOL, read my text before writing your affirmations, your development can be heard on some specific points, but it looks like a monologue on the bottom ...

To allude here to the way in which the man, in general, seems to be wary of what is unknown to him is the precise point that I have highlighted.

Because if this retreat from the unknown can justify a fear reaction is more understandable, reports on NDE will never erase the stress and fears related to death.

I read all of the posts first before responding, including your's.. I still wanted to give my take and say my thoughts on it.. I thought your post was great and very accurate..

 

[Jessica5]

Dying isn't scary in the least to me. What does scare me is failing at my suicide attempt, and ending up a vegetable. That's basically the only reason I haven't committed suicide yet.

 

[Snowx88]

After my own NDE I can confirm this to be very true. Now its down to, do I live or die, thats it.

What did the your nde feel like?

 

[Soul]

I read all of the posts first before responding, including your's.. I still wanted to give my take and say my thoughts on it.. I thought your post was great and very accurate..

I liked your post very much, @FF777 - it's not pleasant to see you being lorded over by another poster acting as if - ehhh never mind. 8]

I do think you underestimate SI a bit when you say the body isn't afraid of N. The body isn't as stupid as it looks (well, mine isn't!) and it does keep tabs on what the mind is up to; and when that bitter taste hits our bodies are genetically designed to REJECT! RED ALERT! REJECT!

As to losing everything familiar ... yeah, it's easy to say that sounds good! But as @riverstyx mentioned (maybe in a different thread) there's also the fear of missing out, which can of course be way more poignant for some than for others.

As a child I felt I'd rather experience the end of the world than simply die. Another child comforted me by pointing out that every death *is* the end of the world for that person. Weird kids, eh. Both Capricorns, of course.

 

[ExitTheDay]

Dying doesn't frighten me at all, it's the psychical pain that comes with it is what draws me off from actually wanting to do it

 

[Soul]

Dying doesn't frighten me at all, it's the psychical pain that comes with it is what draws me off from actually wanting to do it

As the owner of a terminal illness I'm more afraid of what the medical profession has in mind for me than of some brief pain upon exiting. We don't know until we get there, of course, but I'm one of those who feels I can put up with some pain as long as 1) I know it's really the end and 2) I don't have to do anything but bear the pain. If I have to look cute or be witty or stay in tune or any of that shirt, I may be in trouble

 

[Avicii]

As the owner of a terminal illness I'm more afraid of what the medical profession has in mind for me than of some brief pain upon exiting. We don't know until we get there, of course, but I'm one of those who feels I can put up with some pain as long as 1) I know it's really the end and 2) I don't have to do anything but bear the pain. If I have to look cute or be witty or stay in tune or any of that shirt, I may be in trouble

Damn sorry to hear that is it Cancer ?? I wake wishing that il catch a terminal illness I know that sounds so wrong it's just ok won't lie apprehensive about death even though we all have it coming but for me it's the pain on the family especially my mam she's mid 70s it will break her and the grandkids are aged between 20 and 5 ten of them suicide isn't accepted as a death whereas terminal well it's sad but what can you do

 

[Soul]

Damn sorry to hear that is it Cancer ?? I wake wishing that il catch a terminal illness I know that sounds so wrong it's just ok won't lie apprehensive about death even though we all have it coming but for me it's the pain on the family especially my mam she's mid 70s it will break her and the grandkids are aged between 20 and 5 ten of them suicide isn't accepted as a death whereas terminal well it's sad but what can you do

No, I've got one of the long slow mean ones that the don't even give you morphine for. I do understand your wish for a socially-acceptable exit for your family's sake, but be sure to wish for one that gets you morphine.

 

[Avicii]

No, I've got one of the long slow mean ones that the don't even give you morphine for. I do understand your wish for a socially-acceptable exit for your family's sake, but be sure to wish for one that gets you morphine.

Are you in pain without the morphine ?? I'm guessing your not in the Uk as surely you'd be offered this on the nhs

 

[Soul]

Not in the UK, and not exactly in pain - just struggling more and more even with simple things.

But that's enough about me - let's talk about you. What do you think of me?

No no, I mean: Let's not highjack this fine thread. Back to Death Doesn't Have to Be Scary.