Discussion why do you like helping people?

[puppybrained]

as selfish as it sounds, i don't really like helping people. i don't feel like i give good advice and i don't know how to comfort people well. i don't have a lot of energy to do it either. still, i see people on here putting themselves out there all the time and offering to be someone to talk to. it seems difficult, but it's really inspiring to see there's a lot of people willing to do it.
so out of curiosity, why? whats your reason for wanting to help a stranger? do you feel like youre good at it? do you get tired?

 

[derpyderpins]

as selfish as it sounds, i don't really like helping people. i don't feel like i give good advice and i don't know how to comfort people well. i don't have a lot of energy to do it either. still, i see people on here putting themselves out there all the time and offering to be someone to talk to. it seems difficult, but it's really inspiring to see there's a lot of people willing to do it.
so out of curiosity, why?

To me... I'm often not sure what is worth doing or what life means, but I have no doubt that helping someone else is not a bad thing.

I also believe in people, but I think we need support. I haven't always gotten the type of support I needed, so I try my best.

whats your reason for wanting to help a stranger?

Basically the above. But as for "stranger"... Helping someone in my life is arguably selfish. There's something nice about being there for someone who didn't have anyone else. I've been there where I needed to talk about things I didn't want to talk about with anyone irl ... I want to pass that on by being there for others.

do you feel like youre good at it?

¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯ I know I help some people. And sometimes I try really hard and the person ends up hating me and cutting me out of their life. I've learned to just be available but not press too much.

do you get tired?

Yeah ... Sometimes I have to wait to respond and take care of myself first. Like how you have to put on your own oxygen mask before your kid's on an airplane.

If I think we're becoming friends and it ends badly... That's really tough. Although I think I now know how long it takes me to move past it.

 

[astr4]

idk about helping people but i like to validate them. giving advice is hard and honestly sometimes people aren't looking for advice they just want some sympathy. they want someone just to reassure them they're allowed to feel xyz.

as for why i do it it's normally because somehow what the person's going through resonates with me. like i can't help myself w these issues but i wish i could help someone else.

and of course there's a smaller darker piece that believes i have no inherent value as a human being and these are just the things i must do in order to feel okay about myself. if i can make someone else feel better even a little then surely i must have… some sort of value idk…

 

[Serial Experi Pain]

Because no one has ever given a fuck about me, so I want as few people to feel that way as possible. Never ends well for me, but I refuse to be a dick when the world is full of cunts causing everyone immense amounts of pain already. If I can better one persons life for just a little while or in some way, I'm happy with that. I've done it before and I'll do it again... I just don't want other people to be as alone and as hopeless as I am even if there's no hope for me.

 

[Gangrel]

Because i feel bad for them. Because i know everyone has a story, a favorite color, a favorite food, something they find funny, it makes me feel bad they're feeling bad. I would like to try to help everyone but of course i can't. Sometimes i read threads of people who have passed away and i literally "miss" them even though i never spoke to them or anything. I just wish i was there, i wish they're thaught me something new or had an interesting conversation with me. I wish i could've hug them or show them something they didn't knew or ever had.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I don't like helping people. I only want to help myself and I can only do so by killing myself

 

[enduringwinter]

Just like you I don't want anything to do with others by default so when I help someone it is because I like them plain and simple. Even if it is a stranger.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I like helping people because I see most of them as being better than me.

 

[rozeske]

I like helping people because it makes me happy. I feel good knowing I made someone's day. Sometimes it can be draining but i feel it's worth it. I generally live by the rule of do what you would expect from others.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Helping in general is a good thing and it's a good feeling.

 

[Sylveon]

I just love making other people happy, but no one really asks for my help as I'm quite ugly and incompetent.

 

[damienlerone03]

I don't like helping people. I only want to help myself and I can only do so by killing myself

hmm i'd say you helped me by creating that boys vs girls counting game, cuz ive spent hours of my life on there LMAO

I've always been taught to help others so ig its just a core feature that comes to me naturally. Though if it exceeds my limits i walk away.

 

[Edistrying]

Specially for me i don't think i'm helping anyone but when i don't feeling so Bad I try to accompany someone who is having a bad time because thats what i would like, & when i have a bad moment i read here & i feel confortable . I think whatever we decide, anyone should feel supported.

 

[_AllCatsAreGrey_]

This is a big one for me. In my formal religious experience as a Hindu monk / priest and later as a student of Zen, the principle of helping others is a spiritual principle. The overall aim is to reduce suffering and be helpful to others. Although I don't formally practice those traditions anymore, the general values still hold true for me, I think.



In the Vaisnava (worshipers of Vishnu) tradition of Hinduism there is the tradition of taking a name of Vishnu plus the suffix das, meaning servant. For example, Krishna das - servant of Krishna. That was the core theological identity of practitioners, being a loving servant of god. Being a servant of god isn't only the way to reconnect with god, but it's the end goal. A part of that is aiding others along the way.



In the Zen tradition there is the culture and practice of the bodhisattva. This is an elevated almost enlightened being. There is an intention of being present here to help others, before attaining enlightenment.

Like I said, I don't exactly believe or do these things myself now, but still I can see and appreciate how it's impacted my worldview around how to interact with others. I will say that a big part of why I'm not religious anymore is because I over did this and kinda became a doormat and lost touch of my own needs and wants. So balance is definitely needed.

 

[untothedepths]

For me, my brain would reward me feel good emotions, knowing I did something to help someone and make their lives easier. Which would be okay if I wasn't easily manipulated, I'm the worlds most gullible person so like, if you are a people pleaser in general don't even bother unless its small stuff. not worth the loss of dignity and mental pain you'll go through

 

[ijustwishtodie]

hmm i'd say you helped me by creating that boys vs girls counting game, cuz ive spent hours of my life on there LMAO

I'm glad that game of mine helped you. I'm actually surprised that it's still quite active. Also, I hope that it helped others as well, especially @4am

 

[damienlerone03]

I'm glad that game of mine helped you. I'm actually surprised that it's still quite active. Also, I hope that it helped others as well, especially @4am

yeah if you check 4am's activity she was on there A LOT LMAOOOO, she just like me fr. RIP @4am.

 

[N33dT0D13]

I enjoy helping others for the selfish reason that I would feel guilty and selfish if I didn't help where I could, that and sometimes I manage to make people happy and that's rewarding.

 

[sserafim]

I don't

 

[GuessWhosBack]

It depends on the person and what I'm helping with. Sometimes I help people for comedic relief. People often need help with the dumbest things, like a puncture or directions to the grocer.

I like helping people with math, again, comedic relief.

 

[tychai]

i view my actions and impacts on a scale of outputting an amount good and bad onto my surroundings. So i try to weigh it out to pushing more good than bad where i can, the world may suck but it can always suck a little less right? sometimes that starts with listening to somebody for an evening and offering a shoulder to someone who needs it, even if i cant necessarily fix the root problem.

on a less profound note, its also just a nice feeling to not be so useless and be of some assistance to someone, even if its really small