Why do we need to act certain way in society?

[Lucifer'sRight]

Original question was posted by @_Minsk but i can't find the thread so here's my answer:

Because people learned when they were kids that if they act like themselves they are being inappropriate and if they act like they "ought to" they are rewarded with positive attention and fake love. So they switched trusting in their own feelings, thoughts and reactions for positive attention reinforcement, junkie style(facebook style). And because most people prefer no effort, and value fitting in over remaining true to themselves they won't have you breaking that rule, so you don't remind them what they've done to their true impulses, so they don't have to face themselves all over again. Being inquisitive is a danger to a regular person, cause most people prefer a comfy piece of bullshit over a risky mystery. So i think it's because most are scared of themselves..

 

[a.n.kirillov]

Interesting question.

The first question that came into my mind is this: what is the self really? How much of this 'true self' is still cultural programming and what would be left of it if we stripped all socialization away? Is reactionary behaviour to societal norms really more authentic than conformity to them?

I think people conform because deviation from the rules of communication and behaviour in any given society is punished. But what function these rules serve and why even slight abnormalities suffice for being singled out, ridiculed, labeled insane, bullied etc ... – I don't know and would have to think about.

 

[Lucifer'sRight]

Interesting question.

The first question that came into my mind is this: what is the self really? How much of this 'true self' is still cultural programming and what would be left of it if we stripped all socialization away? Is reactionary behaviour to societal norms really more authentic than conformity to them?

I think people conform because deviation from the rules of communication and behaviour in any given society is punished. But what function these rules serve and why even slight abnormalities suffice for being singled out, ridiculed, labeled insane, bullied etc ... – I don't know and would have to think about.

It's a good theoretical question, i think we can choose to conform to certain bevaviours and still remain our true selves provided that we follow feelings associated with freewill rather than fear.
I doubt that we can strip all socialization, since we live in a universe with many particular points of subjective consciousness, but i'm sure there were experiments done on children depriving them of any contact, i think around 70s. I don't think that this can be answered in a purely intellectual way, i think there's a strong mystical element to defining yourself, hence emotions and intuition play a big part imo.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

To fit in.
We have a contradictory need to both stand out and to fit in. So we have to stand out in way that is socially acceptable in order to fit in.
Make sense?
No?
People are weird.

 

[Lucifer'sRight]

I'd argue you can only truly fit in if you stand out in the right way
this sounded like a really cheese clichè on my part... i think i need to kill myself.. ;]
cheesy****

 

[Fragile]

because we evolved around being part of a group, it's very beneficial to be part of society and we also evolved around being distrustful of people and groups that are different to what we are used to. whether this is right or wrong is mostly irrelevant, that strategy worked for humanity and we wouldn't be as advanced without it, it's just nature.

if you act differently, express yourself in other ways and look off, then the group will reject you for mostly good reasons. if you want to be part of it and enjoy the benefits of society then act like them, because being on your own is not the best strategy to survive.

 

[RepressedMind]

It doesn't always work out if you are true to yourself, I did that on and on fighting against the forces trying to change me, until they got too agressive and won.. and then I did something that wasn't me