I watched a philosophy show. Sadly not fully to the end so far but I want to write about it. A female author was interviewed. She described how she cared for her husband who experienced a stroke. The man was a nursing case. She depicted the struggle, the pain, the suffering for the people who were involved. It reminded me of my own life on several levels. My mom recently had a stroke and I am very ill and could relate to some phenomena.
This blow of fate was pretty scary for me. His communcation was severely impaired. Something I am anxious about. She said sometimes he could only go on with life because he had the hope to kill himself one day. But she knew he was too disabled for that. Now when I think about why didn't she asked him whether he wants assisted suicide? He seemingly had the desire to die. But maybe I should not judge I don't know the full details.
Her descriptions were very interesting. She wrote a book about it and she did not spare the uncomfortable truths. LIke changing the diapers, the slobber etc. Some people try to hide such details but they are uncomfortable truths.
One topic was loneliness. I mean compared to other nursing cases they were prvileged. He was perfectly insured, they had money and this man was not fully lonely. I just don't want to imagine how many people live as vegetables without being able to communicate. This is one of my biggest fears. Being conscious, not being able to express yourself, not being able to move, a prisoner in ones own body. The interview was especially about the struggle of the woman who cared for him. She said it was very tough.
Personally I am scared my mom could become a nursing case with a new stroke. I think I would ctb then. Though it might kill her. So I would try to be very precise with my plans in order that it really kills me. Surviving as vegetable and my mom dies because of it then I would be finally in a living hell.
Now to the core of this thread. Many illnesses are very stigmatized. People tend to avoid interactioncs with very ill people. For example because they don't know how to react or they don't want to be reminded that such nightmarish illnesses exist. People often don't want to be exposed to too much negativity. Sometimes people become abandoned due to that. I can relate to this because I don't like to visit my grandma. I had the feeling she blamed me for the death of my grandfather. It was a horrible position to be in. We never openly talked about it. I try not to think too much about it burdens me. So I am not always only a victim. I also try to avoid some negative emotions. But it is also kind of self-protection in order to avoid a relapse.
In this forum I have read that many people experienced that friends turned away after a blow of fate or longterm severe suffering. I know how privileged I am to have friends who don't abandon me. I think they are used to it that I am often suffering. My friends are the best thing that happened in my whole life. So I find the criticism of this forum sometimes cheap. There are so many people who get abandoned by friends, family, the state/social security, society etc. They are already very stigmatized. For their conditions and probably for their suicidality. There are so many examples in this forum. The people become abandoned, the other people look away when someone is so desperate that he or she wants to end their lives. These people deserve real substantial help. But many societies don't offer that. They are also responsible that this is happenening. Most people look away. Due to the fact suicidality is so stigmatized these people don't want to open up. I think if there was a helpline where one could really open up about the pro and cons of life, the remaining possible options could be discussed and also the option to leave. This could have a positive impact. It might prevented unnecessary suicides and could give people who are determined to die an exit in dignity.
Sorry for this rant about loneliness. But most people are so hypocritical on that topic. Leaving vulnerable people when they needed the support the most. And this is what many so-called "friends" do. I feel so sorry for the people who experienced such a behavior. It is heartbreaking. There is so much injustice. The women said that many visitors of his man were hesitant. They were scared to touch him. Scared to meet him. I think she tried to analyze the possible thougts of the visitors. Most people were reminded that something similar could happen to them. Some visitors (the most reliable ones) read out books aloud in front of this severely impaired man. Her remark on it was very interesting. These people hoped maybe with this good deed God hopely kills them in an instant when they take a nip of their last whisky. So that God spares them such a nightmarish ending. This thought made me think a lot. Many people seem to have a very painful ending. I will probably also have one when I ctb. But also shit like dementia or a stroke could happen. Such thoughts reinforce some antinatalism beliefs I have. But I am not fully convinced on it still.
It is such a sad notion. Severely ill people become isolated because severe illness is so stigmatized. Sometimes people just say they don't want to hear all this stories about suffering. And also my friends said they were kind of overburdened. I can fully understand that. As you might recognize with my posts I am an individual with the need to express myself a lot in order to cope. So I am writing more in this forum. It is like a valve. It also gives my friends a break of my daily severe suffering.
And here in this forum I don't feel that lonely anymore. Because I am not the only who suffers existentially. Ill people should receive the best support though often the contrary is the fact and the people get abandoned. Such a brutal and sad world.
This blow of fate was pretty scary for me. His communcation was severely impaired. Something I am anxious about. She said sometimes he could only go on with life because he had the hope to kill himself one day. But she knew he was too disabled for that. Now when I think about why didn't she asked him whether he wants assisted suicide? He seemingly had the desire to die. But maybe I should not judge I don't know the full details.
Her descriptions were very interesting. She wrote a book about it and she did not spare the uncomfortable truths. LIke changing the diapers, the slobber etc. Some people try to hide such details but they are uncomfortable truths.
One topic was loneliness. I mean compared to other nursing cases they were prvileged. He was perfectly insured, they had money and this man was not fully lonely. I just don't want to imagine how many people live as vegetables without being able to communicate. This is one of my biggest fears. Being conscious, not being able to express yourself, not being able to move, a prisoner in ones own body. The interview was especially about the struggle of the woman who cared for him. She said it was very tough.
Personally I am scared my mom could become a nursing case with a new stroke. I think I would ctb then. Though it might kill her. So I would try to be very precise with my plans in order that it really kills me. Surviving as vegetable and my mom dies because of it then I would be finally in a living hell.
Now to the core of this thread. Many illnesses are very stigmatized. People tend to avoid interactioncs with very ill people. For example because they don't know how to react or they don't want to be reminded that such nightmarish illnesses exist. People often don't want to be exposed to too much negativity. Sometimes people become abandoned due to that. I can relate to this because I don't like to visit my grandma. I had the feeling she blamed me for the death of my grandfather. It was a horrible position to be in. We never openly talked about it. I try not to think too much about it burdens me. So I am not always only a victim. I also try to avoid some negative emotions. But it is also kind of self-protection in order to avoid a relapse.
In this forum I have read that many people experienced that friends turned away after a blow of fate or longterm severe suffering. I know how privileged I am to have friends who don't abandon me. I think they are used to it that I am often suffering. My friends are the best thing that happened in my whole life. So I find the criticism of this forum sometimes cheap. There are so many people who get abandoned by friends, family, the state/social security, society etc. They are already very stigmatized. For their conditions and probably for their suicidality. There are so many examples in this forum. The people become abandoned, the other people look away when someone is so desperate that he or she wants to end their lives. These people deserve real substantial help. But many societies don't offer that. They are also responsible that this is happenening. Most people look away. Due to the fact suicidality is so stigmatized these people don't want to open up. I think if there was a helpline where one could really open up about the pro and cons of life, the remaining possible options could be discussed and also the option to leave. This could have a positive impact. It might prevented unnecessary suicides and could give people who are determined to die an exit in dignity.
Sorry for this rant about loneliness. But most people are so hypocritical on that topic. Leaving vulnerable people when they needed the support the most. And this is what many so-called "friends" do. I feel so sorry for the people who experienced such a behavior. It is heartbreaking. There is so much injustice. The women said that many visitors of his man were hesitant. They were scared to touch him. Scared to meet him. I think she tried to analyze the possible thougts of the visitors. Most people were reminded that something similar could happen to them. Some visitors (the most reliable ones) read out books aloud in front of this severely impaired man. Her remark on it was very interesting. These people hoped maybe with this good deed God hopely kills them in an instant when they take a nip of their last whisky. So that God spares them such a nightmarish ending. This thought made me think a lot. Many people seem to have a very painful ending. I will probably also have one when I ctb. But also shit like dementia or a stroke could happen. Such thoughts reinforce some antinatalism beliefs I have. But I am not fully convinced on it still.
It is such a sad notion. Severely ill people become isolated because severe illness is so stigmatized. Sometimes people just say they don't want to hear all this stories about suffering. And also my friends said they were kind of overburdened. I can fully understand that. As you might recognize with my posts I am an individual with the need to express myself a lot in order to cope. So I am writing more in this forum. It is like a valve. It also gives my friends a break of my daily severe suffering.
And here in this forum I don't feel that lonely anymore. Because I am not the only who suffers existentially. Ill people should receive the best support though often the contrary is the fact and the people get abandoned. Such a brutal and sad world.
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