Opossum
Member
- Jul 29, 2024
- 31
By god! Ok, so im jobless ok? I cant successfully work a job for more than a month without spiraling over money and working myself to death miserably... i hate working because it doses absolutely nothing but stress me out and make me tired all the time, so tired and stressed i cant even sleep without worrying over work! I don't value money at all as well... i have told people around me this multiple times, and my suicidal tendencys and thoughts are not a secret!
The people around me do not care that i cant work a job for a significant amount of time, let alone a sustainable amount... and for people that want me to succeed and be happy supposedly, they do nothing to help me find a job i can keep, or even motavate me to get one... they care so much about it but only hinder me when i try to do anything beneficial for myself. Hell i tryed getting disability for my depression and anxiety (i know thats not enough but i was also trying to see the doctor at this time before i knew my insurance was gone) and my own fucking mother completely sabotaged it! One of her friends was supposed to help me but of course she didn't, just went through the process faster than i could understand anything then said "well you dont qualify." Then left me more confused and frustrated than before.
Honestly i could make a huge post about that one friend of my moms and all her other friends, but thats for a different day... anyways, for my cats fleas, i brought it up to my mother (i try not to go to her for anything, she is never good help, and never does anything that effects me positively) and she said she will work on it. Now, when i ask for something form anyone, i think about if they will, if they can, if its free, and if they are willing to help... i ALWAYS say "if you can" or "if you have the time" or "you dont have to if you don't want to" point is, i ALWAYS give the option to say no, or give a excuse, or whatever...
I only use this way to ask for anything, not wanting to make anyone feel like they have no choice. When i asked my mother for flea supplies, this is how i asked... she could have said no! Hell she has shown that she will say no to me even before i ask anything... AND YET she is guilt tripping me for wanting flea bath for my cat because she "has to" sell food stamps for the money for it... I DID NOT TELL HER TO SELL ANYTHING, I DID NOT FORCE HER TO DO ANYTHING!!! so why is it my fault? I have no problem with giving my cat dayly baths for fleas if needed, but she is so worried over the soap! Its soap! If she really wanted to save money, and not get flea prevention stuff, she could have just got a bottle of dawn just so i can use it on my cat! But no...
Better yet! She could have just said no in the beginning!!! She didn't have to do all this... push comes to shove ied be forced to ask my grandmother for it!! Why does she make everything i ask of her a huge burden on her? FOR FUCKS SAKE when i run out of cat food i don't even as her for more! I just sneek cat safe human food for him when i eat, and hope my aunt remembers to get the free cat food at the food banks... and she and her friends are turning this into a "you need to get a job" situation again just to "prove" some shitty point!!!
Hell i know the real reasons they want me to get a job... one, to use me for money, two, so when i move out i can babysit there kids, three, so when they kick me out they dont have to feel bad and or explain to everyone else why they made me homeless, and four, so they can take my Marijuana when they don't have it and say "well we gave you some so you need to give us weed when we ask" even though they gave me crumbs of it... i have proof of this shit too!
When i got my last job the second my mother seen me again (i was living with my dad for a bit) she handed me a list of shit she wanted me to buy, stuff for my siblings that she should be getting for them because shes the mother, and a list of shit she wanted me to get for her! And when i brought over weed to share because i share when i have it, i left with barley anything! It was my stash that was supposed to last me 3-4 weeks but these people blew half of it in one afternoon!!! They have me babysit whenever they please and i get nothing for having to put up with these kids that dont listen to anything they say let alone me, AND I HATE KIDS! There annoying and make problems for no reason and break simple rules like don't spray shaving cream and body wash everywhere!
Im so sick of these people...
The people around me do not care that i cant work a job for a significant amount of time, let alone a sustainable amount... and for people that want me to succeed and be happy supposedly, they do nothing to help me find a job i can keep, or even motavate me to get one... they care so much about it but only hinder me when i try to do anything beneficial for myself. Hell i tryed getting disability for my depression and anxiety (i know thats not enough but i was also trying to see the doctor at this time before i knew my insurance was gone) and my own fucking mother completely sabotaged it! One of her friends was supposed to help me but of course she didn't, just went through the process faster than i could understand anything then said "well you dont qualify." Then left me more confused and frustrated than before.
Honestly i could make a huge post about that one friend of my moms and all her other friends, but thats for a different day... anyways, for my cats fleas, i brought it up to my mother (i try not to go to her for anything, she is never good help, and never does anything that effects me positively) and she said she will work on it. Now, when i ask for something form anyone, i think about if they will, if they can, if its free, and if they are willing to help... i ALWAYS say "if you can" or "if you have the time" or "you dont have to if you don't want to" point is, i ALWAYS give the option to say no, or give a excuse, or whatever...
I only use this way to ask for anything, not wanting to make anyone feel like they have no choice. When i asked my mother for flea supplies, this is how i asked... she could have said no! Hell she has shown that she will say no to me even before i ask anything... AND YET she is guilt tripping me for wanting flea bath for my cat because she "has to" sell food stamps for the money for it... I DID NOT TELL HER TO SELL ANYTHING, I DID NOT FORCE HER TO DO ANYTHING!!! so why is it my fault? I have no problem with giving my cat dayly baths for fleas if needed, but she is so worried over the soap! Its soap! If she really wanted to save money, and not get flea prevention stuff, she could have just got a bottle of dawn just so i can use it on my cat! But no...
Better yet! She could have just said no in the beginning!!! She didn't have to do all this... push comes to shove ied be forced to ask my grandmother for it!! Why does she make everything i ask of her a huge burden on her? FOR FUCKS SAKE when i run out of cat food i don't even as her for more! I just sneek cat safe human food for him when i eat, and hope my aunt remembers to get the free cat food at the food banks... and she and her friends are turning this into a "you need to get a job" situation again just to "prove" some shitty point!!!
Hell i know the real reasons they want me to get a job... one, to use me for money, two, so when i move out i can babysit there kids, three, so when they kick me out they dont have to feel bad and or explain to everyone else why they made me homeless, and four, so they can take my Marijuana when they don't have it and say "well we gave you some so you need to give us weed when we ask" even though they gave me crumbs of it... i have proof of this shit too!
When i got my last job the second my mother seen me again (i was living with my dad for a bit) she handed me a list of shit she wanted me to buy, stuff for my siblings that she should be getting for them because shes the mother, and a list of shit she wanted me to get for her! And when i brought over weed to share because i share when i have it, i left with barley anything! It was my stash that was supposed to last me 3-4 weeks but these people blew half of it in one afternoon!!! They have me babysit whenever they please and i get nothing for having to put up with these kids that dont listen to anything they say let alone me, AND I HATE KIDS! There annoying and make problems for no reason and break simple rules like don't spray shaving cream and body wash everywhere!
Im so sick of these people...
I relate to what you wrote about not being able to work a job for over a month. Jobs arent as important as people make it out to be, but there is some type of power in saying "im going to work a job" like it makes your life worth something. Most companies dont give any employee benefits besides an hourly wage. I hate jobs in my city because most managers are abusive and stressful. In my city, jobs expect every worker to be an able bodied neurotypical without any accommodations unless you know someone. Nepotism is the best job finder there is.
