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UnnervedCompany

UnnervedCompany

Member
Jun 21, 2024
17
I'm just wondering why do people cut themselves is it meant to be helpful or is it a conduit for self hatred. I sometimes get the inclination to cut myself but I don't know where that comes from. Every time I want to cut myself I get scared due to me hating and fearing pain as well. Does it help in any way as well?
 
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waterworks

waterworks

in the luminous darkness
Jan 31, 2024
104
I've never self harmed, but...

There's feeling of relief that people experience from cutting themselves that could be because of a combination of psychological and physiological factors. When you cut yourself, your body releases endorphins, which help to relieve pain and can produce a temporary feeling of euphoria. This can create a sense of relief from emotional pain or stress.

It can also work as a distraction from intense emotions, allowing the mind to focus on the immediate sensation.

It can also be for some that, self-harm provides a sense of control in a chaotic life and can act as a way to express emotions that are difficult to articulate verbally.
 
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Ash

Ash

Enlightened
Oct 4, 2021
1,447
There's feeling of relief that people experience from cutting themselves that could be because of a combination of psychological and physiological factors. When you cut yourself, your body releases endorphins, which help to relieve pain and can produce a temporary feeling of euphoria. This can create a sense of relief from emotional pain or stress.

It can also work as a distraction from intense emotions, allowing the mind to focus on the immediate sensation.

For some, self-harm provides a sense of control in a chaotic life and can act as a way to express emotions that are difficult to articulate verbally.
Also, for me, it's a punishment, it's addictive, it forces me to practice self care afterwards, I've got so many scars it doesn't matter if I continue, and this time around my arms are so badly malformed from how I've been cutting that I'm too scared to stop - I've been wearing dressings and bandages continuously since December and can't bear to look at my naked arms as they're so misshapen. (Not said that "out loud" before.)
 
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sancta-simplicitas

sancta-simplicitas

Experienced
Dec 14, 2023
240
For me, it's been about transfering one type of pain (psychological) to another type of pain (physical) that I feel as if I have more control over. I have choices with the physical pain, I can choose where it hurts, how much it hurts, for how long it hurts. With psychological pain, I can't and giving me that sense of control has provided relief. There is also a meditative - almost hypnotic - aspect of it. It's a process that I'm used to, I know what to expect from it and there is a sense of safety in the known, for all humans.

That being said, I quit doing it reguarily about 9 years ago. It still happens sometimes when I'm in extreme levels of pain, but it's rare. Not to mention, my left arm is practically just scar tissue and cutting scare tissue is pointless, because it doesn't bleed well. And I really don t want to mutilate other parts of my body because scar tissue is insanely ugly.
 
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PinballWizard39

PinballWizard39

Student
May 3, 2024
134
I've been hurting myself in various ways for over 25 years. It is like a drug, in the sense that it helps you feel better, but then the more you do it, the worse the injuries need to be to make you feel better again. I've gone from the odd scratch, to having a body mis-shapen from years of deep lacerations and now 3 degree burns. I used to hurt myself multiple times a day and while it's not so regular anymore, the severity is pretty bad.

For me, it's about being able to 'see' the pain in my head. The worse the pain in my head, the worse the injury needs to be. Problem is, I'm well aware my self harm is dangerous, nearing on very nearly could be lethal at times. It's like if I can 'see' the pain in my head in a physical form, it makes sense that I'm in pain. I'm now in a different form of pain which is more manageable than the mental agony I am in. However, it's nothing more than a mere distraction for a while.
Another reason I might do it, is because I sometimes feel like I deserve all I get because I don't matter anyway. Sometimes I do it because I want the choice over what happens to my body (that stems from SA/r*pe and not feeling like my body is my own).
 
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kinderbueno

Waiting at the bus stop
Jun 22, 2024
37
I'm just wondering why do people cut themselves is it meant to be helpful or is it a conduit for self hatred. I sometimes get the inclination to cut myself but I don't know where that comes from. Every time I want to cut myself I get scared due to me hating and fearing pain as well. Does it help in any way as well?
Personally it allows me to feel a sense of achievment. I feel by punishing myself and feeling the pain I'm actually doing something worthwhile because I feel like I deserve to be hurt
 
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bookie

bookie

main character of sasu
Mar 31, 2024
357
Cutting myself helps me deal with my thoughts and feelings
 
Ash

Ash

Enlightened
Oct 4, 2021
1,447
Does it help in any way as well?
Forgot to answer this bit. I'll reiterate what I said about it being addictive, the permanent scars, and the malformation of both my upper arms. It helps in the short term but think of it like drinking. Beer or wine after a stressful day might help a person relax but nobody is going to say that the results of long term alcoholism are a long term benefit.
 
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CoRaven

CoRaven

Raven of Melancholy
Jan 15, 2024
12
Sometimes it's self-hatred. Because you feel you deserve the pain in some way, for one reason or another. Sometimes it's for a sense of control over something in your life, when everything seems haywire and out of control. You can control what you sh with. You can control how deep you cut. You can control how many times, & how often you do it. You control whether you choose to bandage yourself up, and tend to your wound, or just let the blood flow. To people who feel they have control over nothing else in life, this small taste of control can grow addictive.
 
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Mywill

Mywill

Member
Feb 6, 2020
83
I didn't cut but I burn myself to feel something other than being numb all the time, especially when I am under depersonalization.
 
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timetodie24

Mage
Apr 14, 2023
513
For me it's a release when I'm feeling overwhelmed . I struggle to identify my emotions but whatever I'm feeling, it helps me feel calmer. It is often a way of punishing myself too due to self-hatred. And more recently, sometimes it's a compulsion due to intrusive thoughts. SH can be complex and reasons can vary over time or even day to day
 
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ASM91

ASM91

READY
Jan 21, 2024
8
Forgot to answer this bit. I'll reiterate what I said about it being addictive, the permanent scars, and the malformation of both my upper arms. It helps in the short term but think of it like drinking. Beer or wine after a stressful day might help a person relax but nobody is going to say that the results of long term alcoholism are a long term benefit.
Completely agree that it is an addiction. As someone who cut for about 12 years and haven't now for 4, I feel it's similar to other addictions, as in 'I am a self-harmer' and I always will be. I fight the urge to do it every single day and have to take it one day at a time.
 
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fallingasl33p

fallingasl33p

Member
Jan 2, 2024
87
At first it was punishment because I felt like I deserved it. Then for me it was if I was having a panic attack/meltdown and/or felt like just a huge ball of nervous energy or had a desperate need to escape my skin because I felt trapped and cutting would relieve that. Like you want to stick a gun in your mouth but realistically this is all you have to hand. It switches off the emotion part because you're focused on the pain instead and it would just help my brain go blank and trance-like a bit.
 
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rottedfukkup

Member
May 30, 2024
31
everyone else above articulated a lot of my reasons better that i could of explained already, its meditive and controlled routine, harming self feels like harm will and its gonna happen and getting it over with

i feel pressure tight build of tension in myself opening the skin is releiving like popping a balloon thats strained and u anticipate the burst and just want it to happen, the blood leaving my body feels like i'm draining the dirt and build up not in a germ way like psychologically im less of me and bad stuff is getting out its like getting fresh air into me and airing out the stuff festering inside of me it cleared my mind like a reboot removing excess
 
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untothedepths

untothedepths

I am falling I am fading I have lost it all
Mar 20, 2023
433
I self harm because I get an urge to do so. Self punishment, hatred, anger, hopelessness, saddness, ect. All those emotions over boiling with tears running down my face and a pain I cannot release in other ways. So I hurt myself. The moment I do after, and I feel that numbed sensation, my mind goes blank, and I am able to have a few seconds of clarity and relief. Don't ask me why my body has done this to me, and designed it like this. I wouldn't be doing it for no reason.
 
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FullCircle

FullCircle

Member
Nov 20, 2018
76
I haven't self harmed in over a year, but I still struggle with wanting to. Mostly it's a distraction. It takes my focus off of the mess in my head.
 
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dragonofenvy

dragonofenvy

Mage
Oct 8, 2023
548
I did it years ago as a way to be able to temporarily dull the mental anguish I felt, even if the relief was only for a minute or two. People wouldn't do it if they didn't get something out of it.
 
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BackToLobby

BackToLobby

You are more than that. You have always been more.
Apr 9, 2024
70
I did it a few times and it helped me to realease stress but I don't do it anymore since it's not worth it
 
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astr4

astr4

memento mori
Mar 27, 2019
131
i'm so angry at myself for existing and for wasting my potential, angry at myself for not ctb. i self harm out of rage. i'm "clean" only because nothing in the past year or so has upset me to that degree but the possibility is always there. i hold an incredibly vast amount of self contempt within my soul.
 
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UnnervedCompany

UnnervedCompany

Member
Jun 21, 2024
17
I read everything right now and thank you guys for the responses. I sometimes would get the urge to cut myself but now seeing it being described as an addictive thing with short term help I don't think I ever will.
 
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painoflife

painoflife

Arcanist
Jul 27, 2019
487
Self harm has been something I have done on and off for over half my life. Mostly I cut myself but then one time I decided to take an aspirin OD alongside cutting to make it seem worse (visually) without me actually doing more physical damage. That started a pattern of taking ODs whether it was over the counter or prescription medication, my partner is on a lot of strong pain meds so I sneak a few at a time to save them up then take them. I don't do this with an intention to die, it's completely different! When cutting I get this sense of being able to see why I am hurting and I understand it, which is the opposite of how I feel emotionally because I don't understand that fully. I guess it's to show myself how much I hurt, it isn't for others because I am very ashamed and hide it. I then enjoy looking after the wounds afterwards. It is nice to clean, steri-strip and dress them. I hate when I get carried away and have to get them glued because I want to fix it myself. I can watch them heal and know that my body can fix itself, unlike my mind. It is very self soothing for me and I know this sounds messed up to people who cannot relate.

(This is a copy of my reply on another similar thread a long time ago, I still feel completely the same)
 
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Rev346

I’m here but will I still be next year?
Oct 23, 2023
111
I started cutting to desensitize myself so that I could eventually cut myself in a vital area. Then I learned it was addictive, very addictive. The pain I felt as the skin sliced open was great. Then I would use hand sanitizer to clean the wound and that felt great as well. Then came the weeks of healing and itchiness of the scabs. The only SH I really do now is using alcohol sanitizer to cleanse open wounds.
 
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lack

lack

im sorry for what i said
Sep 14, 2023
64
i have a rather relatively unconventional (and long) response to this, via a graphic novel chapter that's stuck with me since i read it around a decade ago. as a person who has self harmed in many ways for literally as long as i can remember (especially through either cutting or hitting), i always felt this was a relatively accurate depiction. the person who wrote it was a nurse in a psychiatric ward, and the graphic novel is called "Psychiatric tales". the chapter is called "CUT". i hope this isn't too much to post here, so i'll put it in a spoiler tag, hah..

i had to search around online to find this graphic novel online to link to; but i just .. really enjoyed this explaination when i saw it and i still think it's relatively good at explaining what is sort of difficult to explain, especially considering the person explaining it is someone who has only experienced it as an observer and not someone who has personally dealt with it. there are 10 pages, but i could only share 8 here. if youd like to continue reading, the rest is here, starting on the following page from the last image i posted. i hope if youve read the panels i posted, you would continue the rest as well as it's only 2 more panels.

i hope its ok to post the images and a link this.. !

(the rest of the whole graphic novel is kinda whatever, but this one part of it [ as someone who's struggled with self harm for a lifetime] really stuck with me and i always reference this graphic novel chapter when im trying to explain it to people [i've a lot of visible self harm scarring]. this is the first time ive been able to just, simply, share it ! heh]).
 
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lacrimosa

lacrimosa

Student
Jul 1, 2024
114
Cutting or SH releases endorphins. These endorphins can relieve stress and make one feel at ease afterwards.
 
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Rev346

I’m here but will I still be next year?
Oct 23, 2023
111
Lack, that comic completely lines up with my understanding of SH. The only difference was I was in physical pain due to chronic muscle strains as opposed to just emotional pain. The one part that stood out to me was the aspects t of control. When cutting, I was in control of the pain, not my back which I had lost control of.
 
EvisceratedJester

EvisceratedJester

|| What Else Could I Be But a Jester ||
Oct 21, 2023
1,949
Cutting causes the body to release endorphins that help to both reduce pain and also relieve stress. As a result, cutting can allow people to feel a sort of "release" from their current emotional state. It can also cause it to become addictive.

For me, cutting was a way to both punish myself and cope with my more intense emotions. I also did it out of my feelings of intense self-hatred.
 

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