Discussion Why do people care if others commit suicide?

[freedommatrix]

I'm not talking obviously about family members who would grieve over the death of a suicidal person but rather random internet strangers or even random strangers IRL. Why do they care that someone wants to kill themselves? It won't impact them

 

[WhyIsLife56]

There's two explanations:

The crab mentality--If I can't have it, neither should you

And they think they're saving someone when they do that. They think that life can get better. If they commit suicide, it's a lost opportunity kind of thing to them.

 

[Brick In The Wall]

I'm not talking obviously about family members who would grieve over the death of a suicidal person but rather random internet strangers or even random strangers IRL. Why do they care that someone wants to kill themselves? It won't impact them

I care because I have a big heart and I hate to see anyone suffer. However I wouldn't try to intervene by having someone sectioned. I'm still very much pro choice.

I think some care for different reasons of course. Some probably see it as a public service when they have someone sectioned. They think they're "helping" them when in reality they're just adding more problems.

 

[Jean4]

I grieve over anybody here who CTB. Why? I have no friends of family. The people on this forum have taken their place.

 

[SlackJim]

If you feel empathy, then knowing someone is in the state of mind to think about suicide makes you upset for them.

 

[Aonewayticketplease]

Possibly selfish reasons......misery loves company and not able to follow through with it themselves.

 

[Broken Chimera]

People dislike anything that goes against them/their beliefs. So they'll fight you acting as if your beliefs hurt them. I really can't understand it, but then again I'm not a sheep.

I feel bad when people here ctb, but I have to respect their choice and autonomy to make that choice. Too bad most people can't do the same.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

Maybe it has to do with empathy and mirror neurons. The tendency is to want to soothe someone who is suffering because we experience suffering when we see it. So really it's a form of self-soothing. It's a social animal thing, like grooming behaviors.

If this is accurate, then it makes sense that when someone ctb's, empathy and mirroring could trigger SI, perhaps along with an empathic despair that the other could not be soothed, and so we are potentially not soothable.

These kinds of conversations that make me think are one of the best parts of this form for me.

 

[BlueWidow]

Just stopping you from ctb isn't helping you, it's prolonging your suffering. If they would stop you and then actually help you, that would be a completely different thing, but they don't. They stop you from doing it, throw you in a psych ward, dust their hands off, and say "There! I've done my part".

I think if you get saved by someone, they should be responsible for you in every single way that you can be responsible for another person for the rest of your life and theirs. They should be responsible for how your life turns out from then on because they were the one who saved you and forced you to be alive. I think if more people had to actually take responsibility for the person they saved, far fewer people would be forcibly saved. Because they're not doing it because they really want to save you or actually help you, they're doing it because they want to make themselves feel better.

 

[SuiSqueeze92]

It honestly in a way kinda triggers me, almost brings me back to my close call, causes some flashbacks of overall death I've seen and I envision the family members burying and mourning, developing issues, going down the rabbit hole etc. I can hear one thing and make a whole 8 season series about it in my head instantly that seems so real to me, I forget, it's not.

 

[MysticPerception]

I care because I'm losing a kindred soul or a friend. If they want to head out then I will agree with their choice if they're ready but that doesn't mean I'm not going to be sad that they're gone. I guess you could say I'm just really selfish so that's why.

 

[Jean4]

I care because I'm losing a kindred soul or a friend. If they want to head out then I will agree with their choice if they're ready but that doesn't mean I'm not going to be sad that they're gone. I guess you could say I'm just really selfish so that's why.

You are selfish in that way.

 

[WhyIsLife56]

Just stopping you from ctb isn't helping you, it's prolonging your suffering. If they would stop you and then actually help you, that would be a completely different thing, but they don't. They stop you from doing it, throw you in a psych ward, dust their hands off, and say "There! I've done my part".

I think if you get saved by someone, they should be responsible for you in every single way that you can be responsible for another person for the rest of your life and theirs. They should be responsible for how your life turns out from then on because they were the one who saved you and forced you to be alive. I think if more people had to actually take responsibility for the person they saved, far fewer people would be forcibly saved. Because they're not doing it because they really want to save you or actually help you, they're doing it because they want to make themselves feel better.

They think they're doing their part but it's just selfishness from the beginning. Like they think they're a martyr of sorts.

 

[BlueWidow]

I care because I'm losing a kindred soul or a friend. If they want to head out then I will agree with their choice if they're ready but that doesn't mean I'm not going to be sad that they're gone. I guess you could say I'm just really selfish so that's why.

I think being sad when a person is gone and trying to stop them from making their own choices with their own life are two completely different things. I don't think being sad for a person who has disappeared from your life is selfish. What would be selfish is if you forced them to stay alive, but then you did absolutely nothing to help them improve their life after you forced them to continue to live.
It's like when someone saves you from committing suicide, but then they tell you to stop whining about your life.

 

[MysticPerception]

I think being sad when a person is gone and trying to stop them from making their own choices with their own life are two completely different things. I don't think being sad for a person who has disappeared from your life is selfish. What would be selfish is if you forced them to stay alive, but then you did absolutely nothing to help them improve their life after you forced them to continue to live.
It's like when someone saves you from committing suicide, but then they tell you to stop whining about your life.

I hadn't thought about it like that but that does make sense. People who do that are the worst though. Why talk someone down but then just treat them like they're unwanted baggage? It's so stupid they should just stay out of it if instead of trying to play hero for two seconds.

 

[WhyIsLife56]

I hadn't thought about it like that but that does make sense. People who do that are the worst though. Why talk someone down but then just treat them like they're unwanted baggage? It's so stupid they should just stay out of it if instead of trying to play hero for two seconds.

The most dangerous thing a person can think is when they think they're the hero when they're actually not.

 

[Sensei]

Althought I doubt it's the most important factor, I think that suicides also remind people of their mortality, something which most people can't handle very well.

 

[WhyIsLife56]

Althought I doubt it's the most important factor, I think that suicides also remind people of their mortality, something which most people can't handle very well.

That's another good point

 

[BlueWidow]

You know, the people on this forum are so open minded and intelligent. I think the rest of the world is missing out. People on here come up with such well thought out arguments and points. The world just doesn't know what it's missing.

 

[goomsoom]

You know, the people on this forum are so open minded and intelligent. I think the rest of the world is missing out. People on here come up with such well thought out arguments and points. The world just doesn't know what it's missing.

This is really a good site gives u a break from all online toxicity. There should be more communities like this both online and offline.

 

[BlueWidow]

This is really a good site gives u a break from all online toxicity. There should be more communities like this both online and offline.

Yes, I agree. That's why it's so terrible when you have other people who try to mislead the public about what it is and who the people on here are and so forth. They act like we're all on here just trying to push each other into committing suicide, which is not the case at all. It's a pro-choice website, not a pro suicide site. But general society doesn't seem to like it when people have a choice in anything, particularly if that choice goes against the normal thinking of the society. I think the people on this site are some of the most compassionate and intelligent people I've ever met. I think most of them have thought out what they're doing and they know that ending their lives is a very big deal and they're not approaching the subject lightly. I suppose there may be some people on here who aren't, but I think they're the vast minority. I just wish more people would take the time to understand what the site is about before they start maligning it in the public. Or better yet, they could all mind their own business and leave us all alone and not even put the site in the public eye to begin with.

 

[Epsilon0]

I don't think people care, but rather feel an instinctive aversion to suicide. This aversion is biologically determined and reinforced culturally.

I believe most people have a knee-jerk reaction to the word suicide: "of course it's wrong!" they say. Only, the "of course" here is anything but a statement of the obvious.
There is no reflection behind it, no deeper understanding or desire to investigate the act itself. Just a knee-jerk reaction.

 

[BlueWidow]

I don't think people care, but rather feel an instinctive aversion to suicide. This aversion is biologically determined and reinforced culturally.

I believe most people have a knee-jerk reaction to the word suicide: "of course it's wrong!" they say. Only, the "of course" here is anything but a statement of the obvious.
There is no reflection behind it, no deeper understanding or desire to investigate the act itself. Just a knee-jerk reaction.

Yes, and then they don't have to take the time to go any further into investigating why the person feels the need to end their lives. It's just always wrong no matter what, no matter what horrible thing you're going through.
I swear, if I could have some sort of superpower, it would be to inflict all the pain I feel on to every person that tells me I don't have a right to end my own life. I would make every person that tells me that be the ones who live with my pain.

 

[mattwitt]

Because death scares them.

 

[Epsilon0]

Yes, and then they don't have to take the time to go any further into investigating why the person feels the need to end their lives. It's just always wrong no matter what, no matter what horrible thing you're going through.
I swear, if I could have some sort of superpower, it would be to inflict all the pain I feel on to every person that tells me I don't have a right to end my own life. I would make every person that tells me that be the ones who live with my pain.

It's not noble to think it, and less so to put it in writing... but here goes: I, too, have wished the very same. I wished that on someone close to me. Someone who judged me most cruelly. I wished them to walk in my shoes for a day, a week, a month, and then pass their judgement anew.