Why do I suddenly feel okay on the day I'm supposed to ctb? Is this normal?

[AliceinNeverland]

I took my 3rd dose of meto this morning but suddenly I feel totally normal, like I'm not even suicidal. In past attempts, I felt super suicidal and wanted to ctb more than anything the day that I attempted, but I guess it's bc I knew that the methods were bound to fail cause I hadn't researched and planned. Now that I've done both of these things and I have a method that's mostly full proof, it's like my brain has flipped a switch. Has anyone else experienced this?

 

[fire12362]

Yes, I've had constant anxiety since June. I've wanted to CTB almost every day since. Since July though, I don't think there was a single day I didn't want to. I finally found an SN source from Ukraine that is going to deliver to me in the US. Ever since, I've been so glad. I'm just waiting for it to come. Whenever the thoughts about me ex pop into my head or what I'm going to do in the future, or if I'm ever going to have children, I just remind myself that I'm going to be gone soon. There's no point in stressing all of this. I eat whatever I want, and do whatever I want just to keep my family at bay to make it seem like I'm doing amazing, but soon, I'll be completely gone from this world and nothing in the world brings me more peace than that.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

It's probably SI and bc now you have a method that is pretty much fool proof. CTB should be your last and final decision if you have any uncertainty whether you should do it tonight or not you should reconsider your decision before you ingesting the SN. Anyway I wish you all the best with whatever you decide to do. I hope you find peace! Good luck!

 

[FutureHanger]

yeah it's SI and just the feeling of relief and excitement knowing it'll be over soon

 

[brokenpromise]

Its peaceful knowing that peace is near :)

Megir þú fara og finna frið.

 

[AliceinNeverland]

It's probably SI and bc now you have a method that is pretty much fool proof. CTB should be your last and final decision if you have any uncertainty whether you should do it tonight or not you should reconsider your decision before you ingesting the SN. Anyway I wish you all the best with whatever you decide to do. I hope you find peace! Good luck!

I'm pretty certain now. I felt okay for an hour or so after I woke up but then the dread of living my life crept back in. I'm hoping for a peaceful departure tonight

 

[PrettyPotato]

I'm pretty certain now. I felt okay for an hour or so after I woke up but then the dread of living my life crept back in. I'm hoping for a peaceful departure tonight

Had something really similar yesterday.
The last bits and bobs from my sn supply list arrived, and the next day - for the first time in months - I felt fantastic all day. The brain is a very strange organ indeed!

 

[AliceinNeverland]

Had something really similar yesterday.
The last bits and bobs from my sn supply list arrived, and the next day - for the first time in months - I felt fantastic all day. The brain is a very strange organ indeed!

Although for me the high spirits were only for a moment or two, now I'm back to normal (whatever my 'normal' mode of existing is) and ready to go

 

[uzuf86]

Op, take the time to clearly think if you still have ways out of taking the exit path. If you're getting feelings that you're okay, maybe you think there are things that can still be fixed in your life and a chance that your life might become normal? Make sure you've exhausted all your options and truly see no way out, before you open that one way door

 

[dinosavr]

Remember you can always take a step back. If you realize later it wasn't true and you actually want to die, you can always change your decision back to ctb. Take your time!