'Why didn't they get help?'

[BetterInthanOut]

There is no question that annoys me more after someone ctb. I see it all the time like people are blaming the person who took their own life for not going to their doctor or not reaching out a family member, like it's so fucking easy?? It's just something people say to blame the person and not feel guilt themselves. No one ever says 'why did no one help them?' or 'why didn't we reach out to them?'.

It bugs me so much that even though I know I'll ctb soon, I'll still go to my GP or uni therapist even though I know it won't help, just so that people can't say that I didn't try and reach out. I did, and guess what- it made no fucking difference.

Just needed to vent

 

[TAW122]

I believe that most of society is only ill equipped to handle suicidal people, but also not really empathetic towards their "actual" struggles (not all, but most of society). Then there is the virtue signaling aspect of wanting to be praised for (pretending to) being 'helpful' even though their advice or suggestions do nothing at best, or harm at worst while all sticking it to the suicidal person. It is indeed unfair and wrong for people to put the onus (burden and responsibility) to the suicidal to get help or magically get better.

 

[Sinkinshyp]

my 25 yr old son died in a car accident 3 years ago. I tried to get help right after he passed. I called over 45 psychiatrists, counselors, grief counselors-none took my insurance. Due to my health about 4 months ago I got my doc to sign a DNR. He has tried so hard to help me over the last 3 years. I've been on so many anti depressants and none work. I just want my son. When doc signed my DNR he said have you really thought about this? I said yes I have, 1 I do not want to wake up from respiratory failure again and 2 pills aren't going to work I just want my son. I believe I will be reunited with my son after I am physically gone. My mom had me admitted to psych twice- and both times I was out in 30 hours or less because they don't take my insurance. I swallowed 50 pills-admitted it and they released me. There are serious flaws in the mental health profession. Help is inaccessible to people who are seeking it. My mom doesn't call police or emt to admit me anymore when I tell her don't be all feely I am going to my son. She learned they will just release me. She is finally starting to accept I am not going to be around long. The only happiness for me is not being here to suffer any more.

 

[checkouttime]

my 25 yr old son died in a car accident 3 years ago. I tried to get help right after he passed. I called over 45 psychiatrists, counselors, grief counselors-none took my insurance. Due to my health about 4 months ago I got my doc to sign a DNR. He has tried so hard to help me over the last 3 years. I've been on so many anti depressants and none work. I just want my son. When doc signed my DNR he said have you really thought about this? I said yes I have, 1 I do not want to wake up from respiratory failure again and 2 pills aren't going to work I just want my son. I believe I will be reunited with my son after I am physically gone. My mom had me admitted to psych twice- and both times I was out in 30 hours or less because they don't take my insurance. I swallowed 50 pills-admitted it and they released me. There are serious flaws in the mental health profession. Help is inaccessible to people who are seeking it. My mom doesn't call police or emt to admit me anymore when I tell her don't be all feely I am going to my son. She learned they will just release me. She is finally starting to accept I am not going to be around long. The only happiness for me is not being here to suffer any more.

SO do you have to pay for mental health care? and if you don't have insurance they just let you go?

 

[rt1989526]

I got help and they put me on medication that fucked me up horribly making everything worse. Getting help ruined my life

 

[BetterInthanOut]

I got help and they put me on medication that fucked me up horribly making everything worse. Getting help ruined my life

Me too, I was in hospital once, worst time of my life, I left there worse than when I went in and people said "at least they were able to help" fuck that

 

[Sinkinshyp]

SO do you have to pay for mental health care? and if you don't have insurance they just let you go?

I have insurance they didn't accept it. So yes they just let me go because they did not take my insurance. I am disabled so unable to pay to stay.

 

[Sprite_Geist]

Sometimes there is no where to get help from. Sometimes there is actually help available, but it isn't right for the indivdual in question; suicide and mental health are both very complex issues with no easy fix. Sometimes suicidal people might have have the right help available, but they refuse to get it due to fear of being stigmatized because of their problem(s). These 3 are just a few reasons why someone might not "Get help".

 

[checkouttime]

I have insurance they didn't accept it. So yes they just let me go because they did not take my insurance. I am disabled so unable to pay to stay.

I'm sorry to hear that. I find that disgusting! i mean healthcare in the UK is not the best (It used to be good) but you guys its a whole different ball game, i can't imagine how hard it is :(

 

[Sinkinshyp]

I'm sorry to hear that. I find that disgusting! i mean healthcare in the UK is not the best (It used to be good) but you guys its a whole different ball game, i can't imagine how hard it is :(

docs decide what insurances they will and will not accept. My insurance is pretty decent insurance. It's just anything psych related seems to be a very for profit business. All medical is a for profit business. Emergency services are provided from hospital regardless of ability to pay. In my state at least they are required to provide services yet they will charge you 50 thousand for that 3 hour visit to the hospital. If you are uninsured or unable to pay if they don't take your insurance after emergency services are provided they will discharge you or transfer you to a hospital that takes your insurance. It is sad all medical is a very for profit business.

 

[checkouttime]

docs decide what insurances they will and will not accept. My insurance is pretty decent insurance. It's just anything psych related seems to be a very for profit business. All medical is a for profit business. Emergency services are provided from hospital regardless of ability to pay. In my state at least they are required to provide services yet they will charge you 50 thousand for that 3 hour visit to the hospital. If you are uninsured or unable to pay if they don't take your insurance after emergency services are provided they will discharge you or transfer you to a hospital that takes your insurance. It is sad all medical is a very for profit business.

So what happens if you don't have insurance? I hope you aren't going to answer, with what i think you are!

So different to our healthcare(which is not great, by any means). I do know the NHS... WAS.. the envy of the world. I can see why aswell.

sorry for being so nosey !!

 

[BPD Barbie]

Sadly a lot of times people go for help, the help isn't given or its the wrong help.

 

[Meditation guide]

It bugs me so much that even though I know I'll ctb soon, I'll still go to my GP or uni therapist even though I know it won't help,

If only there WAS help for our problems. I'm sure most of us would take help if there was something that WOULD help.

 

[Sinkinshyp]

So what happens if you don't have insurance? I hope you aren't going to answer, with what i think you are!

So different to our healthcare(which is not great, by any means). I do know the NHS... WAS.. the envy of the world. I can see why aswell.

sorry for being so nosey !!

I'll glady answer you aren't being nosy just asking questions. If you do not have insurance you have to pay out of pocket if you cannot afford to pay you don't get to see medical help. Specialists cost about $400-$500 per visit. If you are below a certain income limit you can get medicaid. But a lot of doctors will not take it because it doesn't pay out well. So no insurance no money no doctor.

 

[Shades of Grey]

Sadly a lot of times people go for help, the help isn't given or its the wrong help.

With a history of self-harm and chronic suicidality, I have found it increasingly difficult to obtain help that isn't mindfulness-based or some variant of DBT (which I have found to be frustratingly unhelpful, and in some cases counterproductive or outright harmful).

I'm a "maladaptive overcontrol" case that keeps getting shunted into programs designed to address issues of undercontrol because of the self-harm history. It sucks, and if I try to explain why something isn't working for me, I'm treated like a petulant child who won't make an effort.

I feel like I mostly just make the establishment uncomfortable/frustrated, and they don't really know what to do with me anymore.

 

[Marktheghost]

I don't get help because I've never been offered the right help. Nobody cares about me. I've asked for help plenty of times. Even professionals, like nurses and social workers, aren't interested in helping me!

 

[failedjedi]

Part of the reason I'm doing this is I was rejected by the help I needed. When I first started feeling suicidal the only person in the world I trusted and confided in decided to ignore me instead of help. She decided it was easier to just ignore me and hope I got better than actually help. She could have spent that night talking to me and trying to make me feel better. Instead she completely ignored me. Then pretended nothing happened and everything was normal when I started to feel a little better for a while. It killed my soul that night. It made me realize I have absolutely no one. If the one single person I thought I could count on doesn't care, then what do I have? I've tried getting help in the meantime but nothing has worked. I've been on meds, to therapy, etc... Nothing helps. Nothing helps emptiness and a dead soul.

 

[checkouttime]

I'll glady answer you aren't being nosy just asking questions. If you do not have insurance you have to pay out of pocket if you cannot afford to pay you don't get to see medical help. Specialists cost about $400-$500 per visit. If you are below a certain income limit you can get medicaid. But a lot of doctors will not take it because it doesn't pay out well. So no insurance no money no doctor.

So wrong IMO! I mean over here we have the NHS which is sort of free, you do pay national insurance when working which goes towards this. But you wouldn't get turned away, everyone is entitled to treatment on it.

I mean you even actually HAVE insurance and can't get help, thats just fuked up!

If people are picking and choosing who they help, based on how much they pay them or can earn from them. I question how much effort they would put in personally!!!

 

[Sinkinshyp]

So wrong IMO! I mean over here we have the NHS which is sort of free, you do pay national insurance when working which goes towards this. But you wouldn't get turned away, everyone is entitled to treatment on it.

I mean you even actually HAVE insurance and can't get help, thats just fuked up!

If people are picking and choosing who they help, based on how much they pay them or can earn from them. I question how much effort they would put in personally!!!

It is very F'd up. From seeing a doctor to medicine here it's all about money. If you have a heart attack the emergency room will treat you- because like I said they MUST provide emergency services. No insurance- no big income they will discharge you fast. You than get a bill for say $150,000 because you went to emergency and they kept you 2 days to get over the heart attack. If you CANT pay that $150k bill it goes against your credit. I had cancer at 18. I had 4 surgeries in a month and radiation therapy 6 months later. I had insurance but the copays were insanely high it screwed my credit before I had a chance in life. After you are out of hospital from your heart attack try to see a cardiologist with no insurance. You will have to pay $400-$500 to see one. If you cannot afford that you wont see a doctor. Now, they put you on medicine in the hospital for your heart attack. If you cannot afford the $100-$400 to get it you do not get medicine. It's all a for profit business here. ALL medical is.
I am supposed to see a lung doc pulmonary, pain management, cardiologist and primary care every month. Even with my insurance I cannot afford to see all the doctors. For a specialist it costs me $60 per visit for copay. The last time I saw pulmonary was just before my son died. I was told back than just over 3 yrs ago, I was over 50% through stage 3 emphysema, pulmonary hypertension and in heart failure. I am insured and cant afford to do all the tests and doc visits.

 

[checkouttime]

It is very F'd up. From seeing a doctor to medicine here it's all about money. If you have a heart attack the emergency room will treat you- because like I said they MUST provide emergency services. No insurance- no big income they will discharge you fast. You than get a bill for say $150,000 because you went to emergency and they kept you 2 days to get over the heart attack. If you CANT pay that $150k bill it goes against your credit. I had cancer at 18. I had 4 surgeries in a month and radiation therapy 6 months later. I had insurance but the copays were insanely high it screwed my credit before I had a chance in life. After you are out of hospital from your heart attack try to see a cardiologist with no insurance. You will have to pay $400-$500 to see one. If you cannot afford that you wont see a doctor. Now, they put you on medicine in the hospital for your heart attack. If you cannot afford the $100-$400 to get it you do not get medicine. It's all a for profit business here. ALL medical is.
I am supposed to see a lung doc pulmonary, pain management, cardiologist and primary care every month. Even with my insurance I cannot afford to see all the doctors. For a specialist it costs me $60 per visit for copay. The last time I saw pulmonary was just before my son died. I was told back than just over 3 yrs ago, I was over 50% through stage 3 emphysema, pulmonary hypertension and in heart failure. I am insured and cant afford to do all the tests and doc visits.

Absolutely shocking, especially in a global superpower country like america. I knew you had the insurance thing and stuff but didn't realise it was that bad. I mean you guys have alot of pharmaceutical companies advertising drugs on TV,i think thats crazy!!!

 

[Wayfaerer]

I'm beyond the point of help now. So unless if they had a time machine they can spare me their "help."

Absolutely shocking, especially in a global superpower country like america. I knew you had the insurance thing and stuff but didn't realise it was that bad. I mean you guys have alot of pharmaceutical companies advertising drugs on TV,i think thats crazy!!!

Yes, it is crazy! You'd be amazed what is allowed here. America is the strangest place of all 1st world states.

 

[checkouttime]

I'm beyond the point of help now. So unless if they had a time machine they can spare me their "help."


Yes, it is crazy! You'd be amazed what is allowed here. America is the strangest place of all 1st world states.

Oh i know its crazy, like its sooooooo easy to get a record i think, but then you are fuked and cant rent houses and stuff. what the fuck are people expected to do!! no wonder people turn to crime.

but that is just a simple observation and what 99.9% of people understand, so why doesn't the cock making the rules get this!?!!??! im getting annoyed just writing about it lol

 

[Sinkinshyp]

Absolutely shocking, especially in a global superpower country like america. I knew you had the insurance thing and stuff but didn't realise it was that bad. I mean you guys have alot of pharmaceutical companies advertising drugs on TV,i think thats crazy!!!

it is very shocking. Its why so many people cannot get the help they want or need. It's very sad in many ways. We have all the pharmaceutical companies because medical and so profit driven here. If you have GOOD insurance that pays out well they will keep you in the hospital and give you all kinds of meds. Back ache heres a pill, cant sleep heres a pill, sore toe heres a pill- because the doctors get kick backs from the drug companies.

I dont want to make ALL medical sound bad. My primary care doctor has given me medicine samples when I couldn't afford medicines. Sadly a MAJORITY of medical is all money driven here.

 

[Seafoam]

The situation is fucked and we all did the best we could...

 

[checkouttime]

it is very shocking. Its why so many people cannot get the help they want or need. It's very sad in many ways. We have all the pharmaceutical companies because medical and so profit driven here. If you have GOOD insurance that pays out well they will keep you in the hospital and give you all kinds of meds. Back ache heres a pill, cant sleep heres a pill, sore toe heres a pill- because the doctors get kick backs from the drug companies.

I dont want to make ALL medical sound bad. My primary care doctor has given me medicine samples when I couldn't afford medicines. Sadly a MAJORITY of medical is all money driven here.

I watched a program the other day and it was about oxycontin and the opiod crisis's ,so i fully understand your point on the doctors getting kick backs!!!

 

[degeneratewaste]

I went for help several times. I went to a doctor over 10 times seeking help for depression and the first 8 I got dismissed and told to do some exercise. Then when I finally said I wanted to kill myself they just put me on SSRIs with no other support, which made me worse then after a while stopped having any effect at all. I got essentially no support when I seeked help and I know many others that were the same. Makes you think what the point even is, you ask for support and you don't get it, but then when the illness starts to show it's "Why aren't you looking for help?"