Help Why can't I find the courage?

[hydrangeacorp]

I have wanted to die for a long time. I have no hope and I do not want to exist anymore. My future is a black hole. I want to die.

Despite these feelings, I cannot find the courage to end things. It may be partly because I have not found a reliable enough method and I am afraid of failing and causing myself further physical damage, ending up comatose, paralyzed, etc. Worse than before I attempted.

Unfortunately I can't hear from those who succeeded. If people here have attempted, how did you find the courage or put aside your fears?

 

[Beyond_Repair]

I understand, and feel similarly. I want nothing more than to die, but am terrified of the process and the possibility of not succeeding and making things 1000% worse for myself. It's not simple or easy at all, despite what some might think

 

[FuneralCry]

I also have the fear of trying to die going wrong and leading to worse suffering, it truly is so horrible and immensely cruel to me how people are denied the option to just painlessly die when they wish to with no risks involved, I really wish that suicide is straightforward. But anyway I wish you the best.