Venting Why ban?

[Chili]

This has probably been discussed a thousand times. Still, I can not stand to see people continuously ban safe spaces I have on the internet when no one else will talk to me or hear my concerns without institutionalizing me. Or, at all! It's real fucking degrading to have someone silence me instead of try and help me. I'm sorry, but banning a website does not make me less suicidal. Banning a tag does not make me less suicidal. Now I'm just more isolated! That definitely cured me, I think. I feel so much better already.

This continues to happen until there are no spaces for me left, and the people I meet online (because, I mean, let's face it, I'm not talking to people irl) start to feel more and more like strangers. I can't talk to some random on Discord about how I want to die in the detail it needs to be discussed, and I can't talk to randoms in the grocery store about how I can't eat bread because it has too many calories and yes I would rather slit my wrists than put it in my cart. There are only a few places where I feel safe, and I just feel worse and worse when I google "suicide," and the first 12 results are the goddamn hotline that doesn't work (which I always feel condescends me when I use it. I KNOW they are only there for de-escalation, but why the fuck are you trying to look for therapists in my area when I'm trying to kill myself? Now is not the time???).

I don't know. I just already feel like I have a lot of vile in me, and it needs to go somewhere. Take away my spaces, and where does it go?? To other people. I hate myself and I am unhappy, and I promise that no one A. fucking cares, and B. deserves to hear that. What are they supposed to do? I just think these people have never stared down the barrel of a gun so they think that slapping some band-aid on it is going to help.

Gah

 

[UtopianSoliloquies]

At best, the politicians and individual advocates who want to ban sites like SaSu are misguided, ignorant, and acting from irrationality due to the upsetting nature of suicide. More likely with the politicians though is simply that this is how politics works. Like every other group of suffering people who lack power, our struggles are a political platform for them to garner support from people who are not us. I'm sorry to say this but no one is helping us because no one who meaningfully can wants to. We are a small minority whom it is more strategically beneficial to use than to help when it comes to perpetuating the institutions that want these spaces gone in the first place.

 

[passivethought121]

Agree. Places like this is where I can express most of my misery. If I had nothing, I genuinely wouldn't be able to talk to people. My train of thoughts would be so filled with misery that it's blocked out the ability to think of anything else, and I'm so resistant to open up that I'll just be mute. It'd be better for everyone if I became mute at that point. Their excuse is so that we can go to their institutions and get "real help" that'll just drug or lock us up when we don't respond well enough.

 

[WAITING TO DIE]

We the suicidal people are treated like social lepers just because we are suffering.
The evil society we live in causes many of us to feel suicidal.
Yet the same sick and twisted society who is supposed to care about us want to take away our refuge.

 

[FuneralCry]

I wish other people could learn to mind their own business as their interferences just cause more suffering. I hate how they believe their "help" is always wanted when it was never even asked for, to me humans truly are the worst species by how they force life here and wish to enslave that individual in this existence even if they want to die.

 

[𝗟𝗼𝗻𝗲𝗹𝘆]

These people lie to themselves saying "they tell them to ctb there". They believe we're all murderes who push ctb thoughts on others until we ctb - then we become victims. They don't even think for a second that not a single person who's genuinely happy won't a) visit this site b) take any advice c) becomde depressed all of the sudden d) ctb.
They rather to listen to all those families of "victims" of those type of websites instead of listening to people who suffer and try to find some peace here.