Why are you suicidal?

[hellonearth144]

I will share my reasons too, soon.

 

[what]

im not suicidal but i made a fucky wucky and my only escape is to DIE sometimes i wake up in panic not being able to comprehend the fact that i wont exist soon it sucks ive also started dissociating a shit ton even when im driving

the worst thing is i cant even ask for help where i live if you admit to anyone you are suicidal they are legally required to contact the police on your ass and they will fine you a huge sum of money for saying such things

 

[elenaboo25]

I keep going in circles and I'm fed up with it. I told my GP today that I'd like to be euthanised. I want to get it in my patient records, both with my GP and my psychiatrist, that I want to die, for a long time. That's why I'm mentioning it at every appointment now.

 

[heydude56]

No reason to live. Completely wasted life and no potential. Just boring life ahead and I don't want that. I also have some genetic health problems as well which honestly might be the biggest reason now that I think about it

 

[tarnishedstoner]

Had an abusive childhood (physical, emotional, verbal, sexual). Messed me up really bad. Never learned to love myself. Somehow functioned really well in academics till the end of high school, out of fear of failure. Couldn't continue. Was about to kill myself. Didn't.
I somehow turned my life around after that. Started making serious progress in the gym. Got into my dream University programme with scholarship. Made meaningful connections. And even after all of that, i still feel empty. I realised I've never been doing things because I wanted to. It's all of a fear or some insecurity. I've never felt fulfilled, the most i can feel is relieved.
A while ago i fucked everything up. Lost my best friend. And after seeing that i still feel the same on the inside after working so fucking hard for so long, i don't have the energy or motivation to continue. In the end, nothing mattered.

 

[ScholarOfDespair]

No hope or future where I currently reside and there is no chance to escape this place, so my only option is to end it.

 

[outrider567]

Lost my live-in girlfriend after 35 years, this happened Jan of 2022, been suicidal ever since, time heals nothing

 

[twistedtransistor47]

Its more complicated of course but I don't want anything in life bad enough to work for it, I'm too lazy to put in the effort to make life livable

 

[Dukey]

extremely fucked up childhood. A lot of violence, a lot of hate. No real father figure. The one I did have was psychopathic. He went to prison when I was twelve and died when I was sixteen, and honestly it wasn't soon enough.

I have ADHD, a lot of talent, and so much wasted potential because of the trauma. I do stupid and impulsive shit because of the ADHD, and people with half my IQ look at me like I am stupid or incompetent.

I tried therapy, tried medication, tried everything on my own. Nothing ever helped. Then I finally started getting better. I found medication that worked for my ADHD and a therapist I genuinely connected with.

But I can't have nice things. I fell in love. For the first time in my life I felt genuinely happy and not depressed. Then I got abandoned and blocked. Thrown away like a piece of trash after letting myself be completely vulnerable.

The depression came back with a vengeance. Now it is not just emptiness. It is extreme anger and hate toward everything and everyone.
I cannot even distract myself anymore.

Suicide seems like a release at this point.

 

[indianachrome]

I'm suicidal because a physical therapist broke my spine in half on September 5th and I've been in constant pain ever since. I can't work so how am I supposed to live? I can't fuck my beautiful GF well and just want to get the fuck out of here. I have 2 teenagers but only see them once per month because they are out of state so maybe it will be less of a blow for them. I was traveling the world and enjoying an amazing life and then everything changed. I just want the light switch turned off.

 

[endoftheroad45]

Molested as a child, never recovered. My father died and my world exploded. Lost everyone I care about. Depression spiralled. Im too old to start again. And even if I did it would just be taken away from me. Ive had a life of physical, psychological and sexual abuse. Im just so tired man

 

[yxmux]

generally speaking

1. gender dysphoria
2. paralyzing anhedonia

 

[overthehill]

Molested as a child, never recovered. My father died and my world exploded. Lost everyone I care about. Depression spiralled. Im too old to start again. And even if I did it would just be taken away from me. Ive had a life of physical, psychological and sexual abuse. Im just so tired man

I'm so sorry to hear that, man. You don't deserve what that piece of garbage did to you. Child molesters are at the moral bottom of the barrel, if not below the bottom.

 

[DeadManLiving]

Financial ruin

 

[FuneralCry]

Because I don't wish to suffer in this futile, torturous existence that I just always saw as a mistake, all I want is peace from the burden of existence that just causes endless amounts of suffering all for the sake of it and problems there were never a need for with no limit as to how much one can be tortured.

I wish I never suffered more than anything, I find it the most terrible, dreadful tragedy how this existence was imposed causing all this harm and suffering as a result, simply just existing is enough to make me wish for death, for me existence itself is just always the true problem and it's one only non-existence can solve and take away for me.

 

[fadedghost]

someone did something bad to me and it left my physically damaged

 

[starryend]

Throughout my life, I've struggled to find reasons to believe that living is worth it. Growing up, the only kind family members I had passed away, leaving me with a broken and physically abusive father. I always had trouble making friends, and as an adult, my attempts to connect with people who shared my interests often ended in betrayal or being sexually assaulted. Now, I feel backed into a corner. My only remaining source of support is an ex I live with who's quickly losing interest, while my fear of going outside and meeting new people keeps me trapped. I have no degree, no job, no family, and no clear future. I'm tired, I'm depressed, and lately, the thought of simply falling asleep and never waking up again feels like the only kind of peace I could have.

 

[XiaroX]

Its more complicated of course but I don't want anything in life bad enough to work for it, I'm too lazy to put in the effort to make life livable

I am not sure about the concept of laziness. But maybe I'm too lazy to discuss it. :)

 

[SomewhereNew]

Basically never recovered from grieving 14 years ago and my life has been dominoes falling down ever since. I'm self destructive, I've been cruel to people I loved. I have achieved absolutely nothing that I'm proud of since those 14 years. I didn't plan to live past 21.

 

[badatparties]

I live in a clown world.

 

[Blueberry Panic]

People.... and because of my mental illnesses.

 

[XiaroX]

Basically never recovered from grieving 14 years ago and my life has been dominoes falling down ever since. I'm self destructive, I've been cruel to people I loved. I have achieved absolutely nothing that I'm proud of since those 14 years. I didn't plan to live past 21.

This might be wildly inappropriate and insensitive, but I lived with people who didn't think I'd make it past 21, and I internalized it. And it's shocking how long I lived past 21. I'm self-destructive, but I admit not cruel, but have attracted cruel people/sadists. I don't want to any more. I really don't know if people who have been cruel to me have ever felt remorse, so I guess I'd say that if you do feel remorse, please apologize to those you've been cruel to. If you mean it, feel it. It might be meaningful. It would be to me.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

because I want to

 

[XiaroX]

People.... and because of my mental illnesses.

This is off topic, but I wanted to say I've found your avatars striking/beautiful.

 

[Blueberry Panic]

This is off topic, but I wanted to say I've found your avatars striking/beautiful.

I appreciate it hun

 

[Tormented Soul]

53 yrs old with a host of severe health issues, poor as fuck, and have to live with family who make my life miserable.

what would it take for to want to live? some money to get my own tiny home and money to survive better on (like get the treatments/surgery/meds i need).

the rest of the issues i could deal with if i just had that.

money could change my life instantly!

 

[corpse]

I hate men, they always take advantage of me.

 

[Ihatelife1999]

Because life is shit

 

[hopelessgirl]

Because I feel no joy and no connection to anyone or anything. I feel no meaning. I am disappointed with what my life became, which is literally nothing. My life consists of only bed rotting and forcing and torturing myself to do activities with my boyfriend and argue with him in the meaningless arguments he starts. Everything is boring to me and there is nothing in this world I want to do. I will never achieve anything. I'm 32 and both my parents are dead. I have a degree I will never use: I worked in my domain a couple of months and got acutely suicidal and immediately hospitalized, never set foot in that domain again. Tried to work other jobs but I have now basically given up and I have distanced myself so far from life and I have no value to myself. I have two brothers: one severely mentally ill, and the other one probably just disappointed with me. I have no friends, other than people living far away abroad, and even those friends are not that close. The only thing I love and my only light in this hellish life is my adorable labrador. I call him my angel. I wish I didn't have to leave him. But I don't know if I can take it anymore. My favorite activity is sleeping.

 

[thefarter]

bwacause i was doxxed and now i fear that every single human being i meet will always hold my past actions against me. even though i am NOT that person anymore. and there's NO moving past that. oh also some douchebag SA me. so yeah: sodium nitrite is the only way forward :3