Discussion Why are you here?

[Wyldfyre4948]

What brings you here? What kind of damage has left you feeling that ctb is the only real option left? I don't mind if you want to type a novel, or if you want to send it in private if you're uncomfortable being open about it.

 

[dumblosergirl]

I'm here to feel understood. Childhood trauma and bullying from strangers and family all my life. I know (not assuming) that my family hates me. Most people are cruel and hurt me in so many ways and I watched as they tore down so many good and beautiful souls to where the only peaceful way they see out of the pain is to CTB.

 

[F@#$]

I've wanted to die for about as long as I can remember. I don't know why, now it's evolved into self hatred and hatred for the rest of the world. I've wasted my life have nothing,nobody gives a fuck about me and neither do I. Now I'm just planning my exit.

 

[Seered Doom]

Similar to the one above, came to feel understood and have childhood trauma and bullying happen all throughout life. Having a ton of mental illnesses doesn't help matters either as well as a shitty heart physically speaking. I honestly just feel like a test subject guinea pig more than anything else. Combine that with heavy misanthropy and anti-human sentiment and I think it's all the more clear. Dehumanization leads to what I am now and that means hating humans so much that I don't even ascribe to identifying with being human anymore. My sister and I both can't identify with humans and never will ever again.

 

[Centraloze]

Future view is bleak. Trauma + bad habits I could overcome, thought I did, but the pain returns/lingers. The only thing that makes sense is to find when to get out and how.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Well, you see, when a man and a woman....

 

[warm dreams]

I was looking for ways to kill myself. While searching for methods, I came across this forum. I was surprised when I understood absolutely every user. I haven't felt this feeling in a long time IRL. At this point in my life, all I'm interested in is suicide, so this forum is an outlet for me.

 

[Blurry_Buildings]

The physical pain never goes away and at this point probably won't go away. The blurriness is constantly there as well. I have no friends left and have failed in school and life. If I haven't found someone who would want to be with me at this point I doubt it would ever happen.

Every day is a literal struggle against the pain to keep going. It hurts god it hurts so fucking much sometimes and nothing ever makes it go away.

 

[FuneralCry]

In my case ceasing to exist is all that is desirable, it only feels rational wishing for death to escape from all future unnecessary suffering in this existence there was never a need for in the first place.

Existence is just so futile and cruel, I'd prefer to be eternally at peace instead, I just want nothingness, it's terrifying how a human can potentially exist for so long with no limit as to how much they can suffer, existence itself is the true problem.