Venting Why are parents so surprised when their child goes on with suicide?

[d0m!n!k]

I feel so awkward posting something here and not lurking like always but I've never been more alone and in need to get something off my chest before I can get rid of myself. My mother might be the worst that ever happened to me and I would trade that woman for anyone else if only I had a choice. I assume that when I'll be already gone she'll be surprised I took my own life, and tell everyone she did everything she could to prevent it. So many abusive parents do that. But why are they surprised it happened if days prior their child was barely getting out of the bed, harming themselves, not eating, failing school and actually screaming at them that they want to kill themselves? All I got as a reaction was the worst yelling I ever had, calling me names, then her victim complex turned on and she thought I'd react when she told me "then maybe I'll kill myself?" as if I wasn't wishing for her death everyday. And today a tantrum that she'll move out because she is so tired of me. I ask for help I'm stuck with "it's too expensive, you don't need it." I voice all the problems I have and I'm silenced. She has all the signs that her child isn't okay and she's just ignoring them. Just like most people in my life. So if they'll be surprised once I'm gone, why? Why are so many people surprised when signs are THAT obvious?

 

[Neowise]

Hey, welcome on the forum!
I feel you, my narcissistic mother is also the reason I am here. I guess they are stuck up in their own world about themselves they are completely oblivious to other people's feelings. They might think we use the same manipulating techniques as them so we surely don't mean what we say and do. For example, saying "I will kill myself" is just a mean to hurt their feelings and to try and win an argument, we don't actually mean it serious. On top of that, when they are happy in their life they think anyone else is, too. They completely lack empathy and an understanding for what other people are going through. Just theories though, I'm no psychologist.

 

[SilentSadness]

A lot of parents seem to see their children as their property, so even if they are in constant pain it will always be surprising if they have the audacity to kill themselves. Also, most parents are natalists who live in pro life delusion.

 

[ThisGameIsOverrated]

I think it's just human nature for parents to think they'll definitely die before their children

 

[MasterOfDisguise]

A lot of parents seem to see their children as their property, so even if they are in constant pain it will always be surprising if they have the audacity to kill themselves. Also, most parents are natalists who live in pro life delusion.

I am unfortunately the child of such parents but somehow im still managing