Venting Why am I so pathetic?

[Black Rose Bunny]

I want to die so bad, I know things will never get better for me, I will always be sad lonely and miserable. But every time I try to hang myself I get really scared and start panicking and back out.

I hate myself so much for it, I know I need to lull myself and I know everyone in my life on some level wants me to and is patiently waiting for me to die.. and I'm such an asshole for not killing myself. There's not any point for me to be alive and suffer anyways. me dieing is what's best for me and everyone but I get so scared every time I try I wish I just had a gun

 

[Deleted member 19654]

I'm sorry you're feeling so sad and miserable. You're not an asshole for not killing yourself.

 

[Hiraeth]

I know how you feel, it's okay to be scared and it's okay to panic no matter how ready you feel. You're not pathetic.

I love your picture btw. Stardew chicken

 

[Black Rose Bunny]

I'm sorry you're feeling so sad and miserable. You're not an asshole for not killing yourself.

I feel like i am though, I'm just a burden on everyone and I feel like people are so patiently waiting for me to kms

 

[Mr2005]

I wish I had a gun too. I should have killed myself ten years ago. No matter how pathetic you think you are you will never be as pathetic as I was

 

[TooConscious]

You aren't an arse hole for not killing yourself. (unless you're a sadist ie rapist or robber of old ladies or something)
Anyway if this is truly the case why give people who don't care/nothing to do with you satisfaction.

 

[Deleted member 19654]

I feel like i am though, I'm just a burden on everyone and I feel like people are so patiently waiting for me to kms

You're not a burden to us here. You can talk/vent/moan as much as you want.

 

[Black Rose Bunny]

You're not a burden to us here. You can talk/vent/moan as much as you want.

I'm still a burden though even if you don't mind me being a burden

I wish I had a gun too. I should have killed myself ten years ago. No matter how pathetic you think you are you will never be as pathetic as I was

I feel that hard, I can't remember a time when I didn't want to kill myself yet here I am, still alive

You aren't an arse hole for not killing yourself. (unless you're a sadist ie rapist or robber of old ladies or something)
Anyway if this is truly the case why give people who don't care/nothing to do with you satisfaction.

Because even if they don't want anything to do with me they still care enough not to be an asshole and try to avoid making things worse for me and helping if they can

 

[Deleted member 19654]

How come the people in your life don't want anything to do with you?

 

[laura fines]

I want to die so bad, I know things will never get better for me, I will always be sad lonely and miserable. But every time I try to hang myself I get really scared and start panicking and back out.

I hate myself so much for it, I know I need to lull myself and I know everyone in my life on some level wants me to and is patiently waiting for me to die.. and I'm such an asshole for not killing myself. There's not any point for me to be alive and suffer anyways. me dieing is what's best for me and everyone but I get so scared every time I try I wish I just had a gun

i feel the same
we are ill, so we see us like pathetic and useless
the disease prevents you from being how you would like
big hug

 

[Ghost2211]

There's nothing pathetic about not being able to kill oneself. I understand feeling like a burden, I feel like one too. That doesn't mean that others don't value you. You can always reach out to us, and we'll always read your posts. You're not seen as a burden here even if you feel like one. I'm sorry hanging is bringing you so much stress. It can be hard to get right.

 

[Worthless_nobody]

Your not pathetic. Lots of us here sympathize. I know I sure do. I haven't been able to kill myself for years now even though I should have long since done it.