Why am I like this?

[Arachnid_Antichrist]

The thing that a lot of people don't understand is that I don't just think I'm an insufferable person with no real morals but I know that I'm. In every interaction I've had with someone they leave me. People actively avoid me. Everyone I've ever raked to thinks I'm the most annoying person on the planet. All I do is shit talk because it's the only way I can hold a verbal conversation with people. People don't actually live me they just like that we have a common enemy and we can converse over that for a while. I've never had an actual conversation with someone that isn't about someone else because I know that I'm just going to end up talking about my interest.

Nobody has ever cares about what I'm interested in or what I like. When I do talk about something that I like or I do say anything nice about someone I just come off as annoying. It just makes me wonder if I should just stop talking and just keep my life and myself private. Because, at the end of the day, it doesn't matter what I'm interested in or what I like. Nobody is ever going to care. I'm not living for myself because I don't deserve to. My only purpose in life if to do favors to people, be someone's punching bag, and then eventually die and rot 6 feet underground.

 

[nothingnobody]

it doesnt matter what other people think they are NPCs.

 

[Arachnid_Antichrist]

it doesnt matter what other people think they are NPCs.

I feel ya man. But at the same time, they are people with their own life and their own experiences. And, to be honest, their opinion does kinda matter to me. Idk why. Maybe it's bc they see me in a way I don't see myself and maybe the way they see me is the way other people see me. Idk I'm probably just reaching.

 

[Pluto]

Do you think autism could be a factor?

 

[MrDarkness]

I have the same issue, everyone leaves me in the end, I always used to be toxic, people would always call me annoying, I had suicidal thoughts as a kid, because everyone said I was annoying, if you wanna talk my dms are always open

 

[Arachnid_Antichrist]

Do you think autism could be a factor?

I think so. Idk about getting tested tho bc people that I know that have gotten tested say it wasn't a good experience.

I have the same issue, everyone leaves me in the end, I always used to be toxic, people would always call me annoying, I had suicidal thoughts as a kid, because everyone said I was annoying, if you wanna talk my dms are always open

Thanks man how do you dm on here? This is my first time on the forum lol