Why am i being tortured

[jussrav]

Why is my mind not letting me live. I was in a restaurant with my mum and dad I felt so bad mentally fighting stuff in my head that was trying to bring me down. I felt like running from the restaurant but then I thought where do I go. Noone can help me. I am broken, messed up, living a life of misery. Battling with stuff in head is not living. Feeling like you are being attacked by stuff in head every second is not a life. Lost confused doesn't sum it up. As I write this things are coming into my head i need to battle with. I have no rest from this. My head is killing me please make this stop. I hate it . I went to a spiritual healer they can sense energy she held my hand and then she started shaking violently she said she couldnt breathe she said tgere was no positive energy inside me there was nothing. This is the worst life anyone could have.

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds so horrible what you have to endure, it really is such a hellish existence where people have to suffer so unbearably.

 

[deathxo]

I'm sorry about what you're going through, fighting your own mind has to be one of the worst things. So much time and energy wasted just fighting yourself, with no hope or possible solutions on how to just make it stop.
Even your encounter with the spiritual healer sounds super disturbing, I wouldn't be able to get shit like that out of head if it happened to me.
I hope you find some peace somehow.

 

[jussrav]

I'm sorry about what you're going through, fighting your own mind has to be one of the worst things. So much time and energy wasted just fighting yourself, with no hope or possible solutions on how to just make it stop.
Even your encounter with the spiritual healer sounds super disturbing, I wouldn't be able to get shit like that out of head if it happened to me.
I hope you find some peace somehow.

I just want death thats it

I'm sorry about what you're going through, fighting your own mind has to be one of the worst things. So much time and energy wasted just fighting yourself, with no hope or possible solutions on how to just make it stop.
Even your encounter with the spiritual healer sounds super disturbing, I wouldn't be able to get shit like that out of head if it happened to me.
I hope you find some peace somehow.

Highly unlikely every day is the worst.

 

[Davey36000]

I just want death thats it

Highly unlikely every day is the worst.

Not sure what that Healer was on, but I don't think he or she is correct...

Our natural state is of happiness/well being, that is why we don't want to have depression or anxiety or fight our own thoughts because it is not a natural state to us.

You are positive energy itself otherwise how could you even live/exist?

Negative energy would just destroy itself, wouldn't it?

Even the most evil people you can think of... let's say Hitler... even he was good to his dog, and his small circle of government friends (sorry I forgot the proper word in English), and wanted good for his family, even if his intentions weren't the best for almost everything else...


If you meditate you notice you can be conscious of negative energy, and if you are conscious of it, then it means you are not it, because you are like a scientist in a lab, observing with his equipment (in this case the tool is awareness/consciousness), the object (in this case "bad energy").

So I say that Healer is wrong, and if he can't do anything to "heal", then he really isn't a healer, is he?

There might be proper healer in this world who care, who use a diverse of methods to heal people, like natural plants, meditation, etc, but those are rare indeed.

For me Solfeggio frequencies (pure tones) help when I'm really fucked up , or you can just check this guy on YouTube, his channel is "Healing Vibrations", he's pretty good.

Some people will not believe, but Mudras help, specially the Gyan Mudra, will make you very aware/conscious, there are other beneficial mudras...

Plant medicine is alright. I haven't explored that too much. Some people report success with Ayahuasca and shrooms. For others, less intense plants like Cat's claw, Hypericum Perforaetum, Rhodiola Rosea, and others seem to help.

Sorry I just got kinda mad at that supposed "healer". He's not really one if he can't do anything and and has wrong knowledge. Some proper shaman in the Amazon would have done better, but you probably don't need to go that far...

 

[jussrav]

Not sure what that Healer was on, but I don't think he or she is correct...

Our natural state is of happiness/well being, that is why we don't want to have depression or anxiety or fight our own thoughts because it is not a natural state to us.

You are positive energy itself otherwise how could you even live/exist?

Negative energy would just destroy itself, wouldn't it?

Even the most evil people you can think of... let's say Hitler... even he was good to his dog, and his small circle of government friends (sorry I forgot the proper word in English), and wanted good for his family, even if his intentions weren't the best for almost everything else...


If you meditate you notice you can be conscious of negative energy, and if you are conscious of it, then it means you are not it, because you are like a scientist in a lab, observing with his equipment (in this case the tool is awareness/consciousness), the object (in this case "bad energy").

So I say that Healer is wrong, and if he can't do anything to "heal", then he really isn't a healer, is he?

There might be proper healer in this world who care, who use a diverse of methods to heal people, like natural plants, meditation, etc, but those are rare indeed.

For me Solfeggio frequencies (pure tones) help when I'm really fucked up , or you can just check this guy on YouTube, his channel is "Healing Vibrations", he's pretty good.

Some people will not believe, but Mudras help, specially the Gyan Mudra, will make you very aware/conscious, there are other beneficial mudras...

Plant medicine is alright. I haven't explored that too much. Some people report success with Ayahuasca and shrooms. For others, less intense plants like Cat's claw, Hypericum Perforaetum, Rhodiola Rosea, and others seem to help.

Sorry I just got kinda mad at that supposed "healer". He's not really one if he can't do anything and and has wrong knowledge. Some proper shaman in the Amazon would have done better, but you probably don't need to go that far...

Thankyou. I dont know what to do every second i am suicidal. When I sit on the sofa sonething happens in my mind and I go lower and I havent even done anything. I wake up hourly at night and get 4 hours sleep. I literally have been gaslighted by everyone. Even suicide lines say be more positive and don't understand my situation . Its hellish I cant seem to live. Maybe some people are not destined to live.

 

[Davey36000]

Thankyou. I dont know what to do every second i am suicidal. When I sit on the sofa sonething happens in my mind and I go lower and I havent even done anything. I wake up hourly at night and get 4 hours sleep. I literally have been gaslighted by everyone. Even suicide lines say be more positive and don't understand my situation . Its hellish I cant seem to live. Maybe some people are not destined to live.

I go through something similar...
Some people may say those things out of good intentions or just parroting.

Regardless I don't think it works like that... It takes a shift in mind which is gradual and can't be forced and has to genuine and natural...

Meaning, just trying to be more positive is pointless if we don't believe it.

Best thing for me is to try to become more conscious... More conscious in general, but also of what makes me happy and what makes me unhappy.

Meditation is this... it's not just relaxing and breathing like it's usually thought of, we are literally training our attention to become less cluttered and have a clearer mind.

Best thing I heard about suffering was from a Buddhist monk called Thich That Han who said, that, "if you know how to suffer, you suffer less".

And to try to understand suffering is a big deal in Buddhist teachings (it is a "religion", so it's not perfect, but it is on point when it comes to suffering).

Not to run away from it, not to try to drown it with positive affirmations... but to genuinely understand it.

A lot of people carry traumas or bad experiences from the past. This is stored, in memory, it doesn't go away.

Only by healing it will go away, not by using cigarettes or other temporary measures (unless you know it's just a band aid).

For me, being aware of the thoughts help somewhat, but it's not the final cure.

I'm still on a similar journey as you but these tools can help (meditation, frequencies; and I'm sure there are other methods that work).

Anxiety and negative emotions are very draining. But I think it is possible to overcome them.

 

[jussrav]

I go through something similar...
Some people may say those things out of good intentions or just parroting.

Regardless I don't think it works like that... It takes a shift in mind which is gradual and can't be forced and has to genuine and natural...

Meaning, just trying to be more positive is pointless if we don't believe it.

Best thing for me is to try to become more conscious... More conscious in general, but also of what makes me happy and what makes me unhappy.

Meditation is this... it's not just relaxing and breathing like it's usually thought of, we are literally training our attention to become less cluttered and have a clearer mind.

Best thing I heard about suffering was from a Buddhist monk called Thich That Han who said, that, "if you know how to suffer, you suffer less".

And to try to understand suffering is a big deal in Buddhist teachings (it is a "religion", so it's not perfect, but it is on point when it comes to suffering).

Not to run away from it, not to try to drown it with positive affirmations... but to genuinely understand it.

A lot of people carry traumas or bad experiences from the past. This is stored, in memory, it doesn't go away.

Only by healing it will go away, not by using cigarettes or other temporary measures (unless you know it's just a band aid).

For me, being aware of the thoughts help somewhat, but it's not the final cure.

I'm still on a similar journey as you but these tools can help (meditation, frequencies; and I'm sure there are other methods that work).

Anxiety and negative emotions are very draining. But I think it is possible to overcome them.

I am looking into meditation I've looked into Buddhism its not helped me much. Yes I am literally battling with stuff in my head that I don't even know are happening. Like problems are happening and I cant even sit and relax. Basically being tortured. In the end I just give up and think u can't even sit znd watch tv my mind is literally torturing me wgats the point this torture doesnt stop. I see nothing but a torturous life ahead. I am mot being negative just honest. Thankyoy for commenting and trying to help me much appreciated x

 

[Davey36000]

Maybe something is out of balance in your life right now?

I also can't focus when watching tv... but recently I found a really decent show that I enjoy and the focus comes more easily.

Besides, maybe we just aren't interested in the moment... I mean we don't need to watch tv all the time.

 

[jussrav]

Maybe something is out of balance in your life right now?

I also can't focus when watching tv... but recently I found a really decent show that I enjoy and the focus comes more easily.

Besides, maybe we just aren't interested in the moment... I mean we don't need to watch tv all the time.

Um I think everything is out of balance Davey. Everything that could go wrong has gone wrong. I am suicidal every second of the day. I can't face my life and its issues. Normal things are scary, I dont have joy, just regrets and a very messed up life. I don't feel happiness i dont know what that is. I am in hell. I will look into the things you have suggested. Thankyou xxx